Sexuality and Religion 2020: Goals for the Next Decade

At 1 p.m. today, the Religious Institute is releasing a major new report, "Sexuality and Religion 2020: Goals for the Next Decade."

We're holding an audio press conference. The renowned religious historian, Rev. Dr. Martin Marty, Rev. Ann Tiemeyer, National Council of Churches of Christ, and Nancy Ratzen, President of the National Council of Jewish Women will be joining me. We'll be live tweeting at #sex2020 during the hour, and the audio press conference will be posted at our web site.

You'll be able to download a copy of the report at 1 p.m. at www.religiousinstitute.org

But more importantly, you can be one of the first people to join our new Faithful Voices Network. There's a pledge you can take at our web site:

As a person of faith, I support sexual health, education, and justice in faith communities and society.

We are hoping to build a grassroots network of tens of thousands of people of faith committed to these issues, moving our work from the pulpit to the pews. Won't you go to www.religiousinstitute.org and look for the Faithful Voices Network? Sign up today and tell your friends.

More about the ten goals for the next decade tomorrow.

The American Prayer Hour -- My Words At PSR

I'm speaking later this morning at the American Prayer Hour on the Pacific School of Religion's (PSR) campus. I'm so glad I could be part of this response to the National Prayer Breakfast, a gathering of religious right leaders, some of whom are behind the appalling anti-gay bill pending in Uganda.

I'm praying that the President will speak out for GLBT people when he addresses them.

Here's part of what I'm going to say in my homily this morning.

"The Family calls Jesus their strong man...but I don't understand how they identify with him at all. To use their own framework for Uganda, I would ask, WWJD? What would Jesus do?

And the gospel teaching is simply. HE WOULD LOVE THEM. HE WOULD WELCOME THEM. HE WOULD ASK THESE SO-CALLED RELIGIOUS LEADERS TO TAKE THE LOG OUT OF THEIR OWN EYE AND NOT CAST THE FIRST STONE. He would remind them that the second greatest commandment is LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. And that we are all neighbors.

He would tell them, SIN NO MORE. And that the sin is not homosexuality or transgender identity. The SIN is Heterosexism. The Sin is Homophobia. Transphobia. The SIN is when any of us -- LGBTQQI and Straight -- ANY OF US are asked to deny our God given gift of sexuality and our right to make responsible sexual choices and decisions.

I hope you'll join in one of these prayer hours across the country or join in prayer for all those oppressed because of who they are in the world. And then I hope you'll ACT.

May our hearts and prayers move us to deeds and actions to create a world where all of us can celebrate our sexuality and our sexual diversity with holiness and integrity.

Amen.

Sex and the Super Bowl: Tell CBS ENOUGH

It's one week to the Super Bowl.

You've probably heard already that CBS has accepted $2.8 million from Focus on the Family to run an anti-abortion ad during the most-watched television event of the year. Focus and CBS are trying to dress it up, saying the ad is more a human interest story than an advocacy ad.

Sounds like a wolf in sheep's clothing to me. Although the ad is not available for preview, its storyline is. Florida quarterback Tim Tebow and his mother talk about the supposed circumstances of his birth in 1987. Mrs. Tebow's health was threatened in her late second trimester, and she alleges that medical professionals advised her to have an abortion. She refused...and 23 years later, the world is blessed to have her outstanding football player son.

The story may not be true. The Center for Law and Reproductive Policy says that Mrs. Tebow, who lived in the Philippines at the time, could not have been offered a legal abortion, because it was (and remains) illegal in that country.

But the veracity of the story is only a side point. The fact is that the ad clearly implies that Mrs. Tebow made the right choice, the only moral choice. Ironically, Mrs. Tebow made a CHOICE, something that the anti-abortion Focus on the Family would take away from other women.

The ad will imply that there is one right choice, one moral choice, one choice that is supported by people of faith. That's why the Religious Institute created a letter from national religious leaders opposing it. You can read it here.

Until last week, CBS said it had a policy against advocacy ads. In the past, it has rejected ads from the United Church of Christ on full inclusion, moveon.org, PETA, and others as being too controversial. Just last week, it rejected an ad from a gay dating site as being too controversial for the Super Bowl. Somehow CBS doesn't seem to care that a lot of us find the ubiquitous ads for Erectile Dysfunction or the scantily dressed women in so many of their ads offensive as well.
I believe in using television for "teachable moments" with my children -- but really, does any parent need them during a football game?

There's still a chance to tell CBS to JUST SAY NO. Abortion is surely a serious issue that can be debated on public affairs programs, but NOT during the Super Bowl. To those who say that pro-choice advocates should develop their own ad, the reality is that most of those organizations, if they had $2.8 million lying around, would devote it to providing services to women, not on a 30- second TV spot.

Both the Women's Media Center and NARAL have petitions on their websites you can sign. We still have a week to tell CBS ENOUGH. Join me.

Celebrate: Tenth Anniversary of the Religious Declaration

Today is the tenth anniversary of the Religious Declaration on Sexual Morality, Justice, and Healing.

The Religious Declaration first appeared as a full page ad in the New York Times on January 25, 2000. It was surrounded by the names of the 850 religious leaders who had endorsed it. It was the first ever multifaith call for sexual health, education, and justice in America's faith communities.

It was an amazing day. We received scores of calls, letters, and emails, thanking us for creating the Religious Declaration. I remember one person who said that the page became blurry as the tears rolled down his face as he read the names.

We've seen remarkable progress during the past ten years towards a greater vision of inclusivity in America's faith communities. Women are now the leaders of several mainline denominations, and bishops and elders in many others. In 2000, only a handful of denominations had welcoming organizations; now, nearly all do. More than 3000 congregations are official welcoming congregations. And more than a dozen denominations now have policies and programs supporting sexuality education.

Further, there has been some dramatic changes in society at large. The original creators of the Religious Declaration called for the "blessing of same-sex unions", not daring to imagine marriage equality. In 1999, only clergy from the UUA were sanctioned to perform such ceremonies; today at least a dozen Christian and Jewish movements allow their clergy to perform marriage or union ceremonies for same sex couples. The Religious Declaration spoke of "sexual minorities" rather than "transgender" because there was little understanding or awareness in either the religious world of the transgender community.

There is of course so much more to be done to create a healthier, more positive and inclusive relationship between sexuality and religion, and to assure that all faith communities are sexually healthy, just, and prophetic. On February 9, 2010, the Religious Institute will be announcing new goals for the next decade. I'll post more here.

But, today, we are celebrating those who created the Religious Declaration and those who work tirelessly each day to further its vision. Join with us.

Trust Women: Why 37 years later, I'm still celebrating Roe v. Wade

I'm happy to support NARAL's Blog for Choice Day.

Today is the 37th anniversary of Roe v. Wade. I was 18 years old, a college freshman, and a virgin when Roe was decided, but I knew it was important.

I can still picture me walking down High Street in Middletown, CT when I heard the news. I quickly thought back to my college friend who we had arranged to go to New York City earlier that year, because abortions were legal there. I thought about the girl in my high school biology class who dropped out of school when she found out she was pregnant. I thought about the story my grandmother had told me about her illegal abortion in the thirties.

In those 37 years, I've counseled hundreds if not thousands of women faced with unplanned pregnancies. I helped write a manual on pregnancy options counseling in the late 1970's. As the Director of Counseling at Planned Parenthood of Metropolitan Washington in the early 80's, I sat with hundreds of women facing unplanned pregnancies. Sometimes they were the daughters of anti-abortion protesters at our clinics, not knowing where else to turn.

I think about all of my friends, relatives, students who have chosen abortions after soul searching. One in three women in America have been there. One in three -- someone you know.

I think about the women and men I've counseled since I've entered the ministry: the couple with the 20 week pregnancy who finds out that her very wanted fetus has a devastating illness; the pregnant 13 year old with the mental illness and her mother; the woman who after infertility treatment finds out she has three live embryos and knows she can only take care of two.

Each of them had to decide for themselves what was right in their very own particular life situations.

I trust women because I believe they have the moral agency to make those decisions.

And that it's not ever the government's role to make these most intimate decisions in people's lives.

My 18 year old self was overjoyed to learn about the Roe decision. I was naive then to think that the issue was settled once and for all.

My 55 year self sadly knows differently. But, affirms how important it was then...and is today.

John Edwards: Could He Not Have Known About Contraception?

Last week, I blogged about Peter Orzag and the D.C. media scramble about what the headlines called his "love child."

Several people felt that I hadn't been hard enough on out of wedlock pregnancies. I countered that there was a major difference between a young, unemployed, poor single parent and the life circumstances of Mr. Orzag's partner.

I had promised I'd write more about out of wedlock pregnancies, and then the disaster in Haiti happened.

I started thinking about these issues again as we heard the announcement that John Edwards was indeed the father of his mistress's toddler.

I wrote more about it for Huffington Post earlier today: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rev-debra-haffner/john-edwards-you-did-know_b_431546.html

The bottom line for me is not a new public health campaign against out of wedlock births -- but one against unplanned pregnancies. It is unfathomable to me how men like Orzag and Edwards put themselves and their partners at risk of an unplanned pregnancy. Surely they know about contraception and condoms. What were they thinking? (Or it's clear what they were NOT thinking.)

As I've written here before, surely, despite differences about abortion, we can all agree that it is precisely because life and parenthood are so precious, that they should never begin carelessly.

Especially by people who know better.

We Are the One's We've Been Waiting For - Honoring Dr. Martin Luther King

Yesterday at an interfaith Martin Luther King service in my town I said, "Today is not just a day of celebrating. It's a day of calling. Martin Luther King called us to our better selves, called each of us to take action in the world." And I asked the congregation to send prayers and money to the people of Haiti.

I keep thinking about Pat Robertson's stupid comment last week about Haiti. I've been thinking about what I would say to him if I had a chance. I think I've finally got it.

The God I know does not send earthquakes, or floods, or tsunamis or disease to punish people.

The God I know sends prophets like Martin Luther King to awaken us to action.

The God I know sends us -- you and me -- to make the world a better place.

Let us hear that call.

What can you do today to make a difference?

UPDATE: A Prayer from Haiti, by my colleague Dr. Pamela Lightsey, Garrett Evangelical Theological Seminary


A Prayer for Haiti

by Dr. Pamela Lightsey

O God, we have been stunned once again by an event
Which seems so unnatural and yet is called "natural disaster."

We have no words to answer the "why" which we feel,
No wisdom to explain away the unexplainable areas of life.

Keep us from attributing this event as a heavenly reprimand,
Or from a certain haughtiness that tempts the distant soul.

Give us to be compassionate and gentle, servants to those in need.
Remind us of your gracious love in the midst of sorrow,
And your ability to work miracles when hope is faint.

We pray for those who suffer in Haiti even now
And for those who await rescue.
For relatives, for the children,
For mothers and fathers,
Sisters and brothers,
Grandparents, aunts and cousins.
For the survivors who question what more they might have done.
And for those who must keep on keeping on, in spite of.
For the leaders,
For those who bring aid
And those who await news.
Strengthen and encourage them we pray.

Now unto you, O God, we take the burdens of this hour and place them in your divine care.
For all you do and are doing, seen and unseen, we give thee thanks, Eternal God of All Creation.
Amen.