Love the enemy?

I'm just returning from Concord, MA, where I led two sessions for parents on talking to their children and teenagers about sexuality, based on my books, "From Diapers to Dating" and "Beyond the Big Talk." More than 150 parents attended and based on book sales and conversations after the talks, the talks were very well received.

I generally talk for about 45 minutes and then answer questions for 45 minutes. Most of the questions are parents presenting real life situations and seeking advice and counsel. But some times people have other agendas. Last night, one older woman asked my opinion of gay/straight alliances at schools, saying that she thought they lured kids into being gay who might otherwise not be.

This morning, another woman said, "So, you think kindergarteners should be taught about condoms in school?" I answered, "No, perhaps you misunderstood when I said that if a small child picks up a condom in your bedroom and says what's this, you should just answer simply, "it's a condom". But, what small children can understand is that every child should be loved and wanted and that people can decide the number of children they want to have." "Oh," she replied, "you want us to talk to five year olds about condoms." I quietly asked the group if that's what they heard me say...they responded it was not. And then I quietly told her I wouldn't let her put words in my mouth, and that there was a difference between a parent answering a child's question and the school curriculum.

So, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised to see a letter to the editor in the Concord Journal taking on the parent coalition for bringing me to Concord. The letter said, among other things, "advocates for child sexual perversion have no place in our community."

The sex education advocate part of me responds with fury and hurt. How dare they label my work this way? And the minister part of me responds, "love thine enemy, love thine enemy, love thine enemy." I take a deep breath and wonder at how these women had their sexuality so broken that they couldn't hear my message that every parent needs to give their children THEIR values about sexuality and that parents must step up to their responsibility to educate their own children about these issues. LOVE THEM...but also make sure that the real story of my message to the parents of Concord is told.