One Sperm Donor, 150 Children, the Century+ Dad

We all remember the uproar about the Octomom and her eight children conceived by ARTs.

I couldn't help but think about the vast difference between her and the man who was reported in the news today to have fathered more than 150 offspring.

A few years ago, the Religious Institute published an "Open Letter to Religious Leaders on Assisted Reproductive Technologies" which recognized that "the broad spectrum of assisted reproductive technologies calls for deeply personal and complex moral decisions that are unprecedented in human history." Although the letter does not address the number of sperm or egg donations, it does raise the issues of the impact of ARTs on families and children, including advocating for regulations to safeguard health (both physical and emotional) and prevent negative outcomes.

I can't help but think that the children of this man on discovering their more than 150 plus half siblings won't be affected, and that religious leaders and theologians need to be part of considering what the limits should be.

What do you think?

Crazy. Stupid. Illegal. My Letter to Steve Carell

Like many ministers, I face an occupational hazard when I go to see movies, watch television, read a book. The stories so often form as future sermons in my mind, that I some times feel all entertainment should be a tax deduction.

But, last Friday night, a friend and I went to see Crazy. Stupid. Love, seeking a complete diversion and an opportunity to laugh.

And I did laugh -- as well as cringe at some of the sexual messages, especially the attitudes about casual sex and the lack of any visible signs of contraception or STD prevention, no less sexual negotiation or limit setting. But, it was the end of the movie that really upset me, in that it portrayed illegal adolescent behaviors.

I contacted my friend Nell Minow, who is the "Movie Mom" for Beliefnet.com as well as hundreds of radio stations around the country. (Read her at www.blog.beliefnet.com/moviemom

She encouraged me to write Steve Carell, the producer and star. I thought you might enjoy reading the letter I sent him. Even better, write him one yourself. I'll let you know if I receive an answer!

Mr. Steve Carell
Carousel Productions
4000 Warner Blvd
Bldg 144
Burbank, CA 91522

Dear Mr. Carell:

I am writing to you as a certified sexuality educator and an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister who is concerned that your new movie, “Crazy, Stupid, Love” models behaviors for teen and tween audiences that puts them at risk for legal action. I am the author of several books for parents on talking with their children and teens about sexuality, and I have worked with adolescents on responsible sexual behavior for many years.

There are several sexual messages in the movie that I disagree with, but I am most concerned about 17 year old Jessica giving 13 year old Robbie nude photos of herself that she took. It is illegal for anyone to create sexually explicit images of a minor, to possess such images, or to distribute them. Although it may seem nonsensical, several states have passed additional laws that make it illegal for teens to take and distribute such pictures of themselves to other teens. Indeed, because of their age differences, depending on the age of majority in the state, Jessica might also be charged and convicted as a sexual offender for exposing a minor to child pornography. In some states, she could face life in prison or have to register as a sex offender for life. Further, the gender of the characters reinforces a stereotype that teen boys cannot be victims of child sexual abuse, when in reality, a boy is most likely sexually victimized by a teenage girl.

These are fictional characters – but their actions may well be repeated by young people in your audiences. I know that your movie is out in general release, and I don’t know what can be done by Carousal Productions at this point to get out the message, “don’t’ try this at home”. But, I do know that PG-13 movies shouldn’t be modeling criminal behaviors as harmless or worse, acts of generosity.

I would welcome hearing a response from you. Please let me know if I can provide you with additional information.

Sincerely,

Rev. Dr. Debra Haffner

Non Virgins Need Not Apply

I've just published a Huffington Post blog on the decision by a Christian school in Florida to fire a 39 year old teacher for having sex before her marriage.

You can read the full post at www.huffingtonpost.com/.../non-virgins-need-not-appl_b_61...

It's inconceivable to me that in today's world having premarital sex can be used as a reason to terminate employment -- or is seen as some how debased. Remember that more than 90% of Americans have premarital sex, and that's been true for at least the past forty years.

What do you think?

Bristol Palin's PSA on Teen Pregnancy

Candies released its new PSA with Bristol Palin.



There are a lot of things that are troubling about it. It implies that only families of means (or even perhaps with famous parents) can adequately support their pregnant teen daughters. That is of course patently false. And teen parenthood is hard, no matter your family's resources.

It also doesn't begin to mention that teenage pregnancy can be PREVENTED through the use of contraception.

But, I like the overall message that teenage parenthood is tough, and I find "pause before you play" compelling. To me, it says think about sex before you have it, always a good message for teenagers AND adults. No matter what your age, thinking BEFORE sex is always a good idea (although as a sexologist, I'd tell you that thinking DURING is rarely.)

I think this ad would be a great trigger for discussion with teens in your home or in a classroom. One could point out the classist assumptions -- and still point out that preparing for sex, making sure it's right for you and the circumstances, and then choosing to abstain from intercourse or get contraception and condoms before anything physical happens.

Sex and the Super Bowl: Tell CBS ENOUGH

It's one week to the Super Bowl.

You've probably heard already that CBS has accepted $2.8 million from Focus on the Family to run an anti-abortion ad during the most-watched television event of the year. Focus and CBS are trying to dress it up, saying the ad is more a human interest story than an advocacy ad.

Sounds like a wolf in sheep's clothing to me. Although the ad is not available for preview, its storyline is. Florida quarterback Tim Tebow and his mother talk about the supposed circumstances of his birth in 1987. Mrs. Tebow's health was threatened in her late second trimester, and she alleges that medical professionals advised her to have an abortion. She refused...and 23 years later, the world is blessed to have her outstanding football player son.

The story may not be true. The Center for Law and Reproductive Policy says that Mrs. Tebow, who lived in the Philippines at the time, could not have been offered a legal abortion, because it was (and remains) illegal in that country.

But the veracity of the story is only a side point. The fact is that the ad clearly implies that Mrs. Tebow made the right choice, the only moral choice. Ironically, Mrs. Tebow made a CHOICE, something that the anti-abortion Focus on the Family would take away from other women.

The ad will imply that there is one right choice, one moral choice, one choice that is supported by people of faith. That's why the Religious Institute created a letter from national religious leaders opposing it. You can read it here.

Until last week, CBS said it had a policy against advocacy ads. In the past, it has rejected ads from the United Church of Christ on full inclusion, moveon.org, PETA, and others as being too controversial. Just last week, it rejected an ad from a gay dating site as being too controversial for the Super Bowl. Somehow CBS doesn't seem to care that a lot of us find the ubiquitous ads for Erectile Dysfunction or the scantily dressed women in so many of their ads offensive as well.
I believe in using television for "teachable moments" with my children -- but really, does any parent need them during a football game?

There's still a chance to tell CBS to JUST SAY NO. Abortion is surely a serious issue that can be debated on public affairs programs, but NOT during the Super Bowl. To those who say that pro-choice advocates should develop their own ad, the reality is that most of those organizations, if they had $2.8 million lying around, would devote it to providing services to women, not on a 30- second TV spot.

Both the Women's Media Center and NARAL have petitions on their websites you can sign. We still have a week to tell CBS ENOUGH. Join me.

HAIR!

We took my almost 16th year old son to see Hair this weekend on Broadway.

I was exactly his age when I saw it the first time.

Both times, it was fun, energetic, and entertaining. It deserved the Tony this year.

What it was not this time was shocking. And not just because I was watching it as a middle age baby boomer rather than a slightly rebellious teenager. (I was in the 10th grade when I saw Hair -- I often dressed the part but I didn't live it in any real way.)

The culture has changed. The homoerotic references in the play don't seem sly, they were sweet. The interracial relationships the same. The profanities mundane. The simulated sex overdone. The quick moment of nudity not shocking. The edge that the play must surely have had when it debuted muted. I thought my son must have had the same reaction to it that I did when late 6o's teenager me watched "Happy Days": "you really thought that was so radical?"

It was also reminder of a world before AIDS had changed the way young people understand and experience their sexuality.

We've grown up sexually as a culture, and overall, I think that's good. And those late 1960's hippies -- now in their sixties -- had something to do with it. So did the men at Stonewall -- so did the women in Atlantic City. More than 40 years ago.

Take your teenagers. It was an afternoon of teachable moments.

Full Inclusion at the Tony's

It's clear change has happened when the 6th state can affirm marriage equality and it barely gets noticed by the press.

It's clear change when the Tony awards, watched by millions, can feature a large number of out performers and presenters, including the wonderfully charming Neil Patrick Harris who hosted the event (who I've loved since he was the prodigy Doogie Howser.)

It seems to me that full inclusion came to the Tony's last night, and although I'm guessing that athough that may have been uncomfortable for some, that some is a shrinking minority. As Harris sang in the glorious finale, "this should could not have been any gayer if Liza was named mayor or if Elton John took flight."

As network TV goes, so will go the nation.

Teens, the Internet, and Rev. Debra on the Today Show This Morning

Here's the video of my piece on the Today Show this morning.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

It was fun.

Tell me what you think!

A Sexologist Minister Look At The Oscars

I was at an all day meeting today in New York City, looking at how to increase full inclusion for LGBT persons in synagogues, so I didn't get to blog earlier about the Oscars.

Cheers to Dustin Lance Black, the young (how young is he??) writer of MILK, who thanked Harvey Milk for saving his life and the lives of other young gay men by promising them a better life. It was sweet and touching and TRUE.

I was thrilled that Sean Penn won, glad that he dissed the hateful protesters, and that he asserted that marriage equality is coming. I think so too.

Kate Winslet...She was terrific as the 30 something Hannah, not so believable to me as the older prisoner. And I still don't understand how being illiterate is WORSE than killing Jews. Really. Also, how come not a single reviewer talked about the fact that this was CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE? He was 15, she was in her mid thirties. Wouldn't people have been outraged about a movie about a 15 year old girl with a man twenty years older? (Oh right, they were. It was called Lolita, and if I remember correctly, it was banned.)

And I was rooting for Slumdog, and glad it won all those awards. It still amazes me that a movie that shows the horrors of poverty in Mumbai still ended up feeling uplifting. One can only hope that some of the money the movie made goes back to helping all the children of the slums who appeared in it. Is it?

As for the picture above -- it was a beautiful dress, but could those be real emeralds? The ring too. If they were real, shame on you, Angelina. Think how many children that could have fed.

33 Variations -- My Heart is Singing

[Pat Mitchell, Eve Ensler, Tulia, and me backstage at 33 Variations]

The last three days have been filled with women who inspire me.

The 15 women who transformed at my church as they offered The Vagina Monologues.

The brilliant and brave Eve Ensler who wrote the play -- and whose words and video of the women of the Congo (DRC) inspired our congregants to raise $3600 for the women of the DRC over the weekend.

The courageous women who told me their own stories of sexual violation after the worship services.

Jane Fonda.

Last night, we went to see the premiere of her return to Broadway after 44 years in a new play by Moises Kaufman, 33 Variations. It is an inspiring wonderfully told story of a musicologist, diagnosed with ALS, and the passion that drives her to complete her last major book.

It is an ensemble piece filled with strong performances, but it is Jane's character -- and Jane -- who owned my heart. Her courage in portraying a woman who becomes increasingly disabled, her courage in testing herself to return to Broadway, her ability to speak her truth about what this has been like for her at her blog, awes me.

If you are in the New York area, go see this show.

She invited us to come backstage afterwards. My camera didn't work, so go to Jane's blog later today, and I'm guessing there will be pictures. There were about 10 of us, including Gloria Steinem, Eve Ensler, Pat Mitchell, and Jane Fonda in her dressing room. This is what feminist heaven would look like. I am so grateful she included me.

I am so filled with gratitude and love for all of these women who touched my soul this weekend.

My heart is singing.

False Advertising: Where Are the Progressives?

The headline of the press release reads, "Long Time Foes United to End the Cultural War: Evangelical and Progressive Religious Leaders Come Together." The report is called the "Come Let Us Reason Together Governing Agenda," produced by Third Way and Faith in Public Life.

If only the headline were true. The fact is that this is a report by, in the words of U.S. News and World Report, a "coalition of prominent evangelical leaders." In that it expands their previous call for abortion reduction to include for the first time a call for comprehensive sexuality education and family planning services, it's an important step forward. And since it includes a call for ending job discrimination against gays and lesbians, moving beyond the 2007 call for treating lesbians and gays with dignity, it is a step forward. I'm delighted to know that there are centrist and social evangelicals who are moving forward on these issues.

But it is false advertising to promote this report as evangelical and progressive religious leaders coming together. My colleague, Tim Palmer, was on the press conference call yesterday. Four of the five speakers identified themselves as pro-life; not one affirmed sexual and gender diversity ; and several went out of their way to affirm their anti-marriage equality position (although the report did not mention marriage at all). There are 30 people who have submitted supporting statements for the report; I would call only four of them progressive religious leaders, and only one has a demonstrated, longstanding commitment to women's reproductive choice and LGBT persons.

I have written many times that one cannot label oneself progressive without a commitment to sexual justice. I have also said innumerable times that I would be delighted to help these two organizations bring truly progressive religious leaders to the table to discuss these issues. But until we're invited, expect us to continue to speak out.

Milk the Movie: Do More For Hope

Go see this movie. Take your teenage children -- or take your youth group.

My 15 year old son and I saw it last night. He was unfamiliar with most of its history; I remembered Anita Bryant and the murders, but little else. I kept reminding myself that this was the 1970's, before the HIV/AIDS epidemic devastated San Francisco.

I found myself wondering what Harvey Milk would think about now. He'd be 88 years old if he was alive. I'd like to think that he would feel satisfaction knowing that the majority of Americans now support job protection, marriage or civil unions for same sex couples, that young people are more likely to come out at younger ages, that an out lesbian has the top rated talk show on daytime TV.

But, the parallels between the Prop 6 campaign and Prop 8, the lies and the bigotry, the hate from people who think they talk for God but hate gay people, and those who wanted to erase the face of gay people and families would surely cause him dismay.

I left the movie feeling that I'm not doing enough. That we have to do more. That more religious leaders need to speak out. That we must create a world where sexual and gender diversity is affirmed. Where one day this struggle will feel like "old history" not today's history.

Where hope, Milk's ever-present word, is fulfilled.

Celebrating Women Over 40

The cover of the new More magazine features Jane Fonda at 70, Sharon Stone at 50, and Tea Leoni at 42 looking strong, beautiful, and sexy.

When I saw it, I thought that a cover of the three women dominating the upcoming election would have made the same point. Cindy, 54, Michelle, 44, and Sarah, 44.

This election is changing the way the public looks at women over 40. These women are eloquent, forceful, independent, accomplished, beautiful, and dare I say it - sexy. They are all women who balance motherhood and careers. They say to America and the world, women over 40 still have "it."

We've known all of them since high school. Cindy, the beautiful homecoming princess who every boy wanted to go out with but stayed home alot because they were afraid to ask. Sarah, the cheerleader who was great for gossip but you knew you had to watch your back. Michelle, the student government president. (Me -- I was the co-editor in chief of the yearbook and voted class flirt.)

They are in a way new role models for today's girls and young women. Actually, maybe for adult women as well. Now, if we could just have their hair, make up, and clothing allowances.

RELIGULOUS -- RELIGOPHOBIA at the movies

I'm guessing that more than a few of you are making extra efforts to laugh these days. I find myself making the effort to stay up for The Daily Show, to find something to laugh about at the end of the day, and at least for the first ten minutes of SNL.

So, last night, we set out to find a funny movie. We had seen "Burn After Reading", and so we went to see Bill Maher's "Religulous."

And, it did have more than a few LOL moments. If you've watched Maher at all, you know that he has no personal use for organized religion, and in these interviews, he finds ample people who are willing to make "religulous comments." He surely brings out what a friend at the movie theater called the "shadow side" of organized religion.

But, ultimately, by the end of the movie I was angry. Maher seems totally ignorant of historical exegetical criticism of the Bible or that people can value the Bible without being a literalist. His lack of knowledge about Scripture is writ large throughout the movie.

But, much more dismaying is that he is either completely ignorant of, or just chose not to show, either the existence of a progressive religious voice or any of the positive work organized religion does in the world. No reference to religious leadership in social movements, like ending slavery or the civil rights movement -- or anti-poverty efforts today -- or a single interview with any of the wonderful diverse religious leaders I am privileged to know and work with for social justice.

The end result is the viewer is left with the idea that Religious = Fundamentalism and that the only other possible response is secular. The movie plays into the idea held by far too many on the right that the religious right is the only legitimate religious voice in the public square -- and by far too many on the left that there is no value in organized religion or faith.

Several years ago, I coined the term "religiophobia" to characterize progressive people with an irrational fear of organized religion (like homophobia is an irrational fear of gay people or gynephobia is an irrational fear of women.) This movie is full of it.

Jonas Brothers, purity rings, and what teenagers need

Until a week ago, I hadn't heard of these latest new boy band. They are the Jonas Brothers, and from what I've gathered, they are these tweens' version of NSYNC, the Backstreet Boys, and oh, dating myself, David Cassidy and the Partridge Family.

On Monday night at the MTV awards, a British Rocker named Brand (who I hadn't heard of either) made fun of them for wearing "purity rings." These rings are part of a faith-based program for teens to pledge to not have sex until marriage. Jordan Sparks, of American Idol fame, also has made her pledge public, and fired back at Brand that not everyone was a "slut."

I thought to myself, "when did personal choices about sexual activity - or lack of -- become a public declaration of superior morality?" The Jonas Brothers and Jordan Sparks are all under 20 and most are still in high school. Almost all of us would agree that it is better for high school age teenagers not to engage in sexual intercourse until they are emotionally and cognitively mature enough to handle its consequences, but I am troubled by the suggestion that all of those that do, are making immoral choices.

Here are some facts. Although some studies indicate that abstinence pledges cause young people to delay having intercourse, it's only by about a year and a half and those same studies show that when they do have sex, they are more likely to not use contraception and condoms. Pledgers are also many times more likely to have had oral sex or anal sex than non-pledgers, substituting other sexual behaviors. And no program has evidence that it delays sex until marriage, the explict promise that is being made. For more than sixty years, about 90% of people have first intercourse before they are married.

What young people need from us is more than symbolic gestures. As I've written about numerous times on this blog, and in my books, is they need adult help in making healthy and responsible decisions about their sexual behaviors, consistent with their own values. We need to support the virgins and the teens who are engaging in sexual behaviors in loving, committed relationships responsibly.

What College Freshman Know...

Beloit College introduced its "Mindset List" of this year's college freshman.

It includes 60 items, that today's freshmen, have "always known", different that those of us from earlier generations. It ranges from ice tea in cans and bottles to Jay Leno as the only host of the Tonight show to electronic filing of tax returns.

Only one item has directly to do with sexuality: there have always been gay rabbis. Actually that should probably have read "openly gay rabbi's".

But it occurs to me that for at least for students in college today, there are many assumptions about sexuality that weren't true say for students ten years ago. Off the top of my head here are a few:

*They have been asked to take a virginity pledge, offered abstinence-only-until-marriage education, and had an abstinence group that they could join us campus.

*Their choices of contraception now include the patch, the ring, and emergency contraception.

*Medical abortion is an alternative to surgical abortion.

*There was a gay/straight alliance at their high school.

*They know someone who calls themselves gender queer.

*If they are Unitarian Universalist or UCC, they had sex education in church, in middle school. If they belong to one of ten religious denominations or live in Massachusetts or California, they know a same sex married couple.

*Hooking up is not attaching a trailer to the car.

*They never snuck their parent's Playboy or Playgirl Magazine. They probably didn't go to the library to look up sexuality questions. Their first view of women in scant underwear was in a catalog that came to their home in the mail.

*They know more about STDS/STI's then their parents.

*They've had vaccines for Hepatitis and HPV.

*They use condoms the first time they have sexual intercourse.

*A majority of them still haven't received comprehensive sexuality education at home, school, or their faith community.

Here's a challenge to my Facebook readers -- what else would you add to this list?

And to those of you my age, the challenge is not to read the Beloit List, and feel old...really old.

Abortion, Sexuality Education, Marriage Equality -- We are Winning Rights

I "borrowed" this picture from a celebrity web site -- it's Ellen and Portia's wedding from this past weekend, and when it popped up as a yahoo headline, I thought to myself "how far we really have come."

I am generally an optimist, but there are days when as a minister and an advocate, I feel discouraged, especially when I'm being attacked from either the left or the right.

But, this picture reminds me that we are moving towards a world of sexual justice where two women celebrities marrying are featured because they are celebrities, not of the same sex.

And if that seems like I am naive, just think about other recent advances. See for example my post from last week about social evangelicals taking credit for the Democratic platform calling for a reduction in unwanted pregnancies and abortions through comprehensive sexuality education, widespread family planning, and better supports for women who want to have their pregnancies go to term as well as more support for adoption. Finally, the goals of the pro-choice community are being seen as the middle ground they have always been. (See Frances Kissling's hard hitting post on this over at RH Reality check or Jim Wallis' article in the Sojourner's newsletter for more.)

Or, think about John McCain's muffled comment at Saddleback on marriage about supporting civil protections, Now, he didn't quite say civil unions but it was close. Or about the recent votes in Massachusetts or the Supreme Court decision in California -- or the wedding pictured above. There is no question that we are getting closer to marriage equality in this country than we could have dreamed even a decade ago.

There was a point in my work in sexuality education as President of SIECUS where I realized we had WON the major conflict, that the "battles" were now about content, but not about whether schools should teach sexuality education at all. (You probably don't remember that in the late 1960's the John Birch Society said that sex education was a Communist Plot and asked in a widely distributed booklet, "Is the Little Red School House the Place for Raw Sex?") The culture has decided that young people need information and education, even as some communities fight abstinence only or talking about contraception and STD prevention as well.

Looking at Ellen and Portia beam in this picture, I wonder if we're not close to that place about sexual orientation...thinking about the Democratic platform, to that place about reproductive rights.

There are of course tons of rights still to secure, but there is no question that we are moving towards justice. Call me naive, but I'm ready to celebrate along with the Degeneris-DeRossi's.

What's Missing (Once Again) From the Compassion Agenda

This week, megachurch pastor Rick Warren announced that on August 16th, the two major candidates for President will participate in a televised "Saddleback Forum" on what its co-sponsor "Faith in Public Life" identifies as compassion issues.

I'll leave it to my fellow faith bloggers like Street Prophet's Pastor Dan to raise the political issues around why this event, like the earlier one at Messiah College, are particularly targeted to evangelical Christians when faith voters are so much more diverse. I can only pray that one day one of these events will take place in a religious environment that fully welcomes LGBT persons.

But, what I want to once again raise our concerns about is the definition of what is a "compassion issue." On the Faith in Public Life blog, compassion issues are listed as "AIDS, climate change, human rights and poverty", "keeping compassion issues on the agenda and marginalizing wedge politics." Given that Rev. Warren publicly opposes abortion and marriage equality, I think it's fair to say that sexual justice issues are included in that definition of "wedge politics."

Yet, how can global AIDS be addressed without discussing the need for prevention of HIV, which in turns requires addressing sexism, the lack of power women have in heterosexual relationships to insist on condom use, or homophobia or economic injustice -- no less the need for accurate and complete sexuality education. How is it that preventing unplanned pregnancies -- many times higher among low income women and teenagers -- is not a compassion issue? How is it that denying same sex couples more than a thousand federal rights that accrue by federal marriage isn't a compassion issue? Why aren't preventing domestic violence, sexual abuse, and violence and discrimination against LGBT person part of a compassion agenda?

I could go on, but you get the point. People of good faith may disagree about these issues, but that doesn't mean that those points of view are not equally grounded in sacred texts and tradition, or that they should not be addressed. In the next few weeks, we will be releasing a letter to all of the campaigns on the moral and ethical foundations for sexual justice. Stay tuned.

PS For those of you keeping track of our campaign on clergy endorsements for marriage equality, as of 2 p.m. today, more than 1350 clergy have endorsed our Open Letter on Marriage Equality.

Wednesday's TV Report

So as much as I disliked last night's "Secret Life", I made myself watch NBC's "The Baby Borrower's" tonight. It's the story of several teenage couples who are "lent" babies to raise for a few days. It's a realistic portrayal of the struggles of taking care of infants, and the teens portray an array of responses. I don't think it's compelling television, but at least one could TIVO it for an interesting school or church group discussion. Next week, they take on toddlers.

NBC advertises it as "it's not TV, it's birth control." And for young people who romanticize having babies, it just might be.

Keep The Secret Life A Secret

So. my regular readers know that I watch too much popular television and I am a glutton for the latest teen movies.

But, I think I've just watched the WORST television show on adolescent sexuality that I've ever seen. Broadcast for the first time on the ABC Family Network, the "Secret Life of the American Teen" has every bad stereotype of teenagers dealing with their sexuality that I think I have ever seen in a single hour. Every one of the boys is obsessed with having sexual intercourse. The boy with the multiple partners is the victim of repeated and implied violent incest by a father. The girls are either portrayed as sluts, down to revealing clothes and too much eye make up, or as clean scrubbed virtuous innocents, including the heroine who gets pregnant after one night at band camp which sounds almost like a rape situation. The possibility of abortion is dismissed out of hand. The portrayal of the one explicitly Christian family, with the girl with the purity ring, was beyond offensive, as this beautiful blond in the tight cheerleader outfit throws her legs around her suffering boyfriend and tells him they will need to wait until she finishes medical school. The attitude of the other students towards this Christian girl is offensive beyond reality.

And the adults? Well, the dad gives a stern lecture to his girls that says they should wait until they have been married two years before they have sex. The guidance counselor is laughable, agreeing to rearrange a male student's schedule so that he has a better chance of meeting a girl to have sex with. The therapist, who makes no head way with promiscuous boy, indicates he has been seeing him for years.

Oh, and then there's the wise Asian girl who spouts statistics on teen sex, as if she just finished reading the latest report from the CDC.

And Molly Ringwald plays the mom of the pregnant girl. It's time to go back to 16 Candles and the Breakfast Club. At least those tried to be honest with teenagers.

Which after all is what our teenagers need from adults. This series is written by the woman who wrote "Seventh Heaven." I shudder to think what the minister in this series is going to be like.