10th Day of Christmas -- Why Do Unitarian Universalists Celebrate Christmas

On Christmas Eve this year, I offered a homily on Jesus at the Unitarian Church in Westport. That might not be unusual in most churches on Christmas Eve, but it's the first time, I've devoted a sermon to exploring who Jesus might be to Unitarian Universalists, who Jesus is to me, a Jewish Unitarian Universalist minister.

On this 10th day of Christmas, I offer excerpts of it here to you:

The most frequent question I am asked after I give the elevator speech on Unitarian Universalism, is “Do Unitarians celebrate Xmas?” When I answer “yes”, the next question often is “why would Unitarians celebrate the birth of Jesus?”

Or, do we celebrating the birth of Jesus? After all, most of us reject the ideas that we’ve been reading and singing about tonight – agreeing with the historical view of the Jesus Seminar, that “Jesus was not born of a virgin, not born of David’s lineage, not born in Bethlehem, that there was no stable, no shepherds, no star, no Magi, no massacre of the infants, and no flight into Egypt.” We also know that December 25th is an arbitrary date for Jesus’ birth, chosen some time in the fourth century.

So what are we doing here? For those of you from Christian backgrounds, the answer may be rooted in your family traditions and memories of past Christmases. Many of us love the Christmas traditions, the carols, the tree, the lights, and yes, church on Christmas Eve. For some of us from non-Christian backgrounds, including those of us who earlier tonight may have celebrated Chanukah in our homes, it may be the chance to share in what is now largely an American holiday, or to acknowledge that our more recently adopted Unitarian Universalist identity is rooted in Jewish and Christian tradition. Most of us are also here to celebrate the magic we make here on this night with its bells, candles, songs, family, and our beloved community.

But, I’d like to think that for many of us it does have to do with Jesus…not the Christ, but Jesus the mystic, rabbi, teacher, prophet and exemplar.

Now I didn’t know much about Jesus growing up. I’ve told you about how in second grade, bullied by my Catholic classmates into learning the catechism, I went home and asked my parents, “how come you haven’t told me about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost?” I remember being called a “Christ killer” by a fellow third grader and being completely confused. I remember being puzzled by the flowing haired picture of Jesus in some of my friend’s living room – a picture that was referred to in seminary as the Breck boy Jesus – often next to pictures of John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr. “Jesus Christ” was also a swear word used in my home; when a grown up was really upset, they might even say, “Jesus Christ Almighty.” The irony of my parent’s using that as an expletive with no context was lost on them and me.

I frankly wasn’t interested and when I think back about it, surprisingly uncurious about who this Jesus was and why he was important to so many. I didn’t really learn about Jesus until I started divinity school in 1996, when a professor suggested that I read the New Testament before I began his course in Christology. He suggested that I read it like I was reading it for the first time; the reality was that I was! Growing up I’m quite certain my Jewish parents would have preferred finding pornography in my room rather than a New Testament.

I liked much of what I read about Jesus in the New Testament – Jesus who stood up to the oppressors of his time, Jesus who told wonderful stories, Jesus who welcomed everyone and said to “carry one another’s burdens” to fulfill his law and to “love one another just as I have loved you.” When I discovered the work of the Jesus Seminar, a group of theologians and historians who are trying to separate the historical Jesus from the myth, I liked their portrait of Jesus as a revolutionary and humanitarian even more. I remember saying to a Bishop friend of mine, “I think I would have followed Jesus in the original.”

Right after my first semester at divinity school, I was attending a conference that included many evangelical leaders. About 30 people were part of a group discussion on religion and politics in everyday life. Millard Fuller, the President of Habitat for Humanity, was there, and at one point in the discussion, he said:

“I really pray for my Jewish friends. Even though they are good people, I know they are all going to go to hell.”

I was stunned. How could this man who was doing so much good in the world state something so anti-Semitic so boldly? The conversation moved on, but my blood ringing in my ears, I just had to say something. I raised my hand.

“Mr. Fuller, I am just beginning seminary and I am really enjoying learning about your Jesus. But as a person from a Jewish background, when I hear comments like your’s, it makes me want to have nothing to do with the practice of a religion that excludes people like me.”

Hushed silence, like in the old E.F. Hutton commercials. Finally, Rev. Tony Campolo, a leading evangelical theologian, spoke up. He said something like, “You know, Millard she’s right. Remember what Jesus says in Matthew 25 about who will get into the kingdom of heaven: that all will get in who gave me food when I was hungry, drink when I was thirsty, welcomed me when I was a stranger, gave me clothing when I was naked, took care of me when I was sick, and visited me when I was in prison. They answered him, “Lord when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food or thirsty and gave you something to drink.” And Jesus responds, “Truly I tell you, just as you did to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.” And Tony looked at me and then at Mr. Fuller and said, “I don’t think you need to worry about your Jewish friends.”

It was indeed a Christian moment, in the way that I have to come to understand and love what Jesus stands for. . Loving your neighbor as yourself. Radical hospitality and radical inclusion of all. Speaking truth to power. Taking care of those who are less fortunate. Working together to heal a broken world.

And I believe it is that Jesus we celebrate as Unitarian Universalists on Christmas Eve and that fifteen years into my ministry, I still want to know more about. May we be blessed to follow Jesus’ example and love one another. May together we bless the world. Blessings to you this holiday season. Happy Chanukah, Merry Christmas.

And may I add, Happy New Year. All blessings for a healthy, peaceful 2012.

Chanukah: A Celebration of Religous Freedom

Tonight is the first night of Chanukah.

I have to admit that each year I have to remind myself of the details of the historical story. It's more complicated than the nativity story, but just as compelling.

So here it is from last year's blog:

In 167 b.c.e., a Greek leader named Antiochus attempted to institute a Greek state religion. He ordered the takeover of the temple in Jerusalem, had a statute of Zeus built on its altar, and called for ritual sacrifice there and in other Jewish temples throughout the countryside. Mattathias killed the first Jew who came forward to offer a sacrifice as well as a state official, and he and his five sons were forced to escape to the hills. Together, they organized first a small band of rebels to resist Antiochus, which grew to a 6000 person army that retook Jerusalem and the Temple.

Three years from the day that Zeus was erected, the 25th of Kislav, Judas Maccabeus and his followers rededicated and purified the Temple in an 8 day celebration. Chanukah has been celebrated more or less continuously for 2,176 years.

According to a very short passage in the Talmud, the Maccabees came into the temple and after purifying it, went to relight the eternal flame. They only had enough oil for one day. Pressing new oil from the olive trees would take another week. Miraculously the oil lasted for the entire eight days.

The Rabbis who wrote the Talmud transformed this historic military battle into a story of God’s miracle and grace to the Jewish people. They moved it from a story based on the facts to a story based on the universal need for faith and hope and redemption. The oil lasting 8 days is a truth story, and most likely not a true story.

Chanukah is a holiday then about religious freedom, diversity, and hope. It's also a reminder that to paraphrase Margaret Mead's famous words, a small group of people can change the world; in fact, it's the only way that happens. As we light the first candles tonight, let us praise the heroes, those who stand up to oppression, and let us rekindle hope in our hearts for everyday miracles.

Happy Chanukah!

Celebrating 8 Years of Ordained Ministry

This week is the 8th anniversary of my ordination to the Unitarian Universalist ministry.

Saturday, May 24th, 2003 was one of the most magical evenings of my life. Surrounded by family, friends, colleagues, and congregants, I felt a golden light descend from the highest point of the glass church roof and fill the congregation at the very moment that the members of the congregation said, "we pledge our continuing relationship and support in all aspects of your ministry. We welcome you and affirm your ministry."

I don't know if that golden light was my imagination...or the Holy Spirit...or just relief for this moment that I had worked so hard for for so many years. It doesn't matter...it was real to me.

As I read the program tonight, my eyes fill again with tears at the words, "We the members of the Unitarian Church in Westport hereby ordain you, Debra Wynne Haffner, to the ministry of Unitarian Universalism." It still feels awe-filled to me that God has brought me to this work and all the amazing moments of these past 8 years.

I answered them in words, that I recommit myself to again, this week on this anniversary:

"It is with joy and appreciation that I accept this ministry to which you ordain me. I will serve faithfully, with humility and courage, mindful of both the privileges and responsibilities this ministry brings."

Humility and courage...privilege and responsibility. Yes it requires both...yes it is both. And I am deeply grateful every day to be doing this work. Thanks be to God.

Find Your Passion - My Commencement Address At Widener University

On Saturday, May 14, 2011, I received the Doctor of Public Service, h.c. from Widener University and was privileged to offer the Commencement Address. Here's what I said:

Good morning, President Harris, members of the Board of Trustees, faculty and staff, parents and family, and most of all to the 846 graduating students.

I am moved almost beyond words by having my life’s work recognized by this prestigious university. People have asked me how it is that Widener, a university in Pennsylvania, heard of my work to award me this honorary doctorate. I've told them that when it comes to graduate training in human sexuality, you are the premier university in the country. One of my most important teachers and mentors, the Rev. Dr. William Stayton was a co-developer of the program, which began at the University of Pennsylvania in 1977. When Penn decided to close the program in 1999, Dr. Stayton brought it to Widener. Under the leadership of President Harris, and the direction first of Dr. Stayton and now Dr. Betsy Crane, the human sexuality program has grown to be the most outstanding preparation for sexuality professionals in the country and I am intensely proud to now be among its degree holders. Thank you from the deepest part of me.

I am deeply honored to have been asked to be your commencement speaker. To be honest, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed about it, as your previous commencement speakers have included your Congressman, a former Surgeon General of the United States, and then Senator Joe Biden. I can imagine that some of the students and parents are thinking “who is Debra Haffner and why didn’t we get a famous person to speak?” My mother and children who are here today are probably wondering that as well!

It has been said that every minister and rabbi really only has one sermon in them, and that every sermon is merely a variation of that theme. If I had to describe mine, it would be in the title of the second sermon I ever gave, “Life is Not a Dress Rehearsal.” Regardless of your individual eschatology (a word that I learned in seminary that means your understanding of what’s to come after our time in THIS world ends), that regardless of our individual beliefs, this the one life we for sure know we have been given, and it is up to us to create it as fully as we can.

You all probably remember the fairy tales that you were read when you were little. They often involved a prince and a princess, who met, fell in love, got married, and …(lived happily ever after…) When I read those stories to my own children when they were little, I would change the ending: they met, fell in love, got married…and it was a lot of work.

I wish I could promise you happily ever after, but like marriage, life is both wonderful and a lot of work.

Some of you may remember the Billy Crystal 1991 movie, “City Slickers”, about the middle age men on go on a cattle drive for a vacation? Curley, the crusty owner of the Ranch says,
Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?
[holds up one finger]
Curly: This.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that….

So, I thought about just standing up today and saying, “just one thing” and sitting down. Dr. Harris told me that one of the most successful commencement addresses he ever heard was a young CEO of a company who stood up and said, “I was only a so so student at Widener. I graduated, started a company, made millions, retired at 35, and if I can do it, you can do it too” and sat down to a standing ovation.

For me, part of the “just one thing” is discovering your passion in life. Presbyterian minister Frederick Buechner defines finding your passion, your call in life as the intersection of discerning “where the world’s greatest need meets your greatest joy.” Sexuality education and now sexuality and ministry are my calling.

I could not have imagined how my life would have turned out at my own college graduation, 35 years ago this spring. I was on my way to an internship in Congress in DC, on my way to law school, and what I hoped would be a career as first an attorney and then as an elected politician. If someone would have told me that 35 years later, I would be a sexologist minister – I would have laughed. It would be a little like telling me that 30 years from now, I’d be an astronaut!

My career has taken me to the most amazing places: to the set of the Golden Girls with then Surgeon General Koop to talk about Hollywood and the AIDS epidemic, to a meeting with the House of Lords with all of them in robes and wigs to talk about abstinence, to debating Bill O’Reilly on national television about whether the word uterus would damage kindergartners, to Thailand for the Peace Council. I could never have imagined any of these.

It’s also been about the quiet moments of ministry: blessing a newborn baby, conducting weddings including several of same sex couples under the threat of arrest, to holding someone’s hand as they lay dying and being with their family after, to the glorious night 8 years ago when I was ordained to the Unitarian Universalist ministry.

The point is that you cannot possibly know today what life will evolve for you. I hope that each of you will find what you love and then find or create a way to make a living doing it. Oscar Wilde famously said, “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.”

When I asked a young friend of mine graduating this spring for advice about today’s talk, she wrote me this on Facebook:
“Honestly, all of us are scared of the "real world". Just tell them we're all gonna be ok, and just to not let fear stand in the way of anything.” It reminded me of Julian of Norwich, the 14th century English mystic, who was the first woman to write a book in English. She wrote, "…All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well"…and indeed, I want you to know it will be.

I also want you to know that it is more important to be happy than it is to be successful, and that the most important parts of your life will take place not in your workplace but with the people you love and who love you back. I’ve heard the principles of Buddhism described with these four simple statements, that I try to use to guide my life:

Show up…Speak the truth….Do what you do with enthusiasm….Don’t get attached to the outcome.

Of course, the last is the hardest. It is especially at those moments of greatest change that we need to do the first three – show up, speak the truth, do what you do with enthusiasm -- and trust that the rest will work out. Graduation is one of those moments, but so is falling in love, changing jobs, moving away, thinking about retirement…Sometimes, we have to be willing to trust that all will be well.

But, we can help ourselves along the way. Some of you may know about the relatively new field of study called positive psychology. We now know that there is a genetic component to happiness. But the research also tells us that happiness in life is even more based on our daily choices and actions than genetics. People who are happier:

Exercise, spend time in nature, Do good deeds and serve others, take the time for daily reflection, through journaling or meditating, have a strong support network including family and friends, belong to a religious community, and express gratitude each day.

Meister Eckardt, a thirteenth century mystic, wrote,
“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough”.

Today is a day for immense gratitude. I hope that at the end of the ceremony, you will say thank you to your parents and other family members who did so much for you to reach this place of graduation, remembering for many of you, you are the first people in your family to graduate from college. I want to say thank you to my husband and children today for the sacrifices and support they have given me to make today possible for me. The only prayer we ever need is thank you.

I want to end with a story of a small village a long long time ago. In that village, like in every village a long time ago, there was a wise old woman, who the people in the town revered and who helped them with their problems and questions. The teenagers in that town, like teenagers ever since, doubted their elders and sought to discredit the wise old woman. The leader of the pack of teenagers came up with an idea.

“Let us go to the wise old woman with a bird in our hands. We will say to her, “Wise woman, is the bird in our hands dead or alive? If she says alive, we will crush the bird with our hands and show her the dead bird. If she says dead, we will open our hands, and the bird will fly away. “

And they climb the hill, go to the wise woman’s home, and knock on the door. She comes out, and the leader says to her, “Wise woman, if you are so wise, is the bird in my hand dead or alive?”

She looked at them for a long long time and was quiet, so quiet that the teenagers could barely stand still. And then she spoke, “The answer is in your hands.”

Find your passion, show up, speak the truth with enthusiasm, be open to the adventures life offers you. The answer is in your hands. May you choose wisely and well throughout your lives. Thank you again for honoring me, and blessings to each of you on this graduation day.

Leading Evangelical Speaks Out With Rev. Haffner

Yesterday, Rev. Richard Cizik and I released an op ed column on our joint support for domestic and international family planning.

You may remember Rev. Cizik as the head of the National Association of Evangelicals, a position he became after Rev. Ted Haggard had to step down after being discovered having sex and buying drugs from a male escort.

Rev. Cizik has gone on to head a new organization, the New Evangelical Partnership, which is a coalition of more mainstream evangelical organizations committed to the common good. Here's a piece of part of what we said:

As religious leaders, we are both called to respond to the needs of the most marginalized, the most vulnerable, and the most likely to be excluded. Both of our organizations are committed to Goal Five of the United Nations Millennium Development Goals, calling for improved global maternal health by reducing maternal mortality by three quarters and achieving universal access to reproductive health. Both of us are committed to helping create a just and equitable world where no woman will die giving birth to the next generation.

Although we hold differing moral values about abortion, we share a commitment that because life is sacred, it should never be created carelessly or unintentionally. That is why we both support the Title X family planning program, which helps avert nearly one million pregnancies in the United States annually. That is why we have a shared belief in international family planning programs, because we know that maternal mortality around the world could be reduced by more than 70 percent by improved access to reproductive health services. We support domestic and international family planning because we know it reduces neonatal and maternal morbidity and mortality, including deaths attributable to unsafe abortions--and it helps build strong families and lives.

As religious leaders, we are called to improve women's and children's lives. It is simply inconceivable to either of us that those who oppose abortion services also have voted to cut or eliminate family planning, prenatal care, mother and infant nutrition programs, and community health services. We stand together in calling on people of faith across the religious spectrum to stand up for the needs of low-income families and their children. We are pro-faith, pro-family, and pro-child.

As people of faith, we call on the U.S. Senate to reject the draconian and ultimately immoral cuts proposed by the U.S. House of Representatives. As religious leaders called by God to co-create a better world where all may flourish and thrive, we can do no less.

You can read the whole piece at www.washingtonpost.com/onfaith

A Moment of Silence for Arizona Victims -- Perhaps A Few Days

At 11:00 am today, I will heed President Obama's call, light a candle and invite the Religious Institute staff into a moment of silence and then an opportunity to talk about their feelings about the shootings this weekend in Arizona.

We are all collectively reeling from the horror of 20 people being shot on a Saturday morning at the grocery store. And our hearts go out to Congresswoman Gifford as she struggles for her life, the families of those who were killed and wounded, those who witnessed the event, and the family of the young man who for reasons yet unknown killed and maimed them.

Yes, reasons yet unknown. The airways, the blogosphere, and our inboxes are overflowing with people who are using this tragedy to further their own interests and points of view. I'm guessing you've received many of the emails from organizations expressing their sympathy AND going one step further to capitalize on the situation. I've received e-cards from civil rights, mental health, Jewish, Christian, and political organizations and a wealth of commentators on the left and the right with their particular points of view. The posts on my facebook page from gay organizations on the heroism of the intern - who happens t0 be gay -- made me shake my head. (Interestingly, the only organizations I have yet to receive something from are the handgun control groups, which to my mind are the organizations which have something to say now regardless of what we learn about the shootings.) Some of the organizations have included DONATE buttons on their e-cards.

The experts and and people getting their 15 minutes of fame are all out in force. In the first hour of the Today show, we met two men who helped sit on the gunman and a woman who took a class with him last spring. REALLY?

I understand that we are all seeking to make meaning out of this senseless tragedy and that it raises intense fears for the safety of our leaders -- and ourselves. We need to talk about it -- with our loved ones and in our religious communities and in our places of work.

But I can't help but wish that all the experts, the talking heads, the organizations would take not just a moment of silence, but the next few days to pray, to think, to understand and resist the urge to use this moment as an opportunity for promotion.

What I Did on My Summer Vacation -- Learnings from Greece

I wonder if it's just me, or if most ministers have pieces of sermons writing in their heads, even when they are on vacation...or maybe especially when they are on vacation.

I'm just back from 10 days in Greece with my partner. It was a wonder week, with stops in Athens, Mykonos, and Santorini.

Sexuality and religion were ever present in Greece. There were phallic symbols on walls and monuments in Delos. There were beautiful Greek gods in various stages of undress in every museum, and tiny pictures of multiple ways of sexual partnering on lots of vases and shards. There were the amazing legends of Greek gods and goddesses, often remarkably sharing power. There were the friezes of the Amazon women warriors, making me wish I remembered more of my 10th grade English and history classes.

And in the modern world of today, there were the family beaches where every women except perhaps most of the Americans were comfortable playing in the water topless. There were the single sex bathrooms in every restaurant we visited, men and women sharing the common sinks while waiting for the stall (some times labeled, some times not) to be free. There was an ease of physical affection between men and men and women and women that was unremarkable to the people around them. On the other hand, except for furtive teenage couples in corners at night, there was little PDA by anyone.

There were little churches everywhere. Tiny Mykonos apparently has 365 of them, one of each day of the year. But we never saw anyone actually going to any of them, even on the two Sunday's of our visit. Worry beads were more ubiquitous than crosses.

And then there were the glorious sunsets over the islands. Each night, I felt a deep reverence and a deep gratitude for the blessings of my life -- and a peace for the love that surrounds us all.

Blessings for your time this summer.

Happy Fourth of July!

I have a special fondness for the fourth of July.

My son's birthday is July 6th, and as he was growing up, we gathered as a family on July 4th to watch the fireworks and celebrate his birthday. For many years, he was convinced that the fireworks were there because it was his birthday. (He turns 17 next week and has just returned from a service learning trip in a small town in Costa Rica.)

But, I also love the big meanings behind the holiday: freedom and equality for all...life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I know, of course, as my colleagues at Tikkun are reminding people in an email this morning that the Declaration of Independence only extended that to white men, that the colonies allowed the slavery of Africans and ignored Native Americans completely, and that women had no rights at all. And, I don't think we should ignore those historical realities. Tikkun has written a lovely reading to share at July 4th picnics that you might use or adapt.

But, it's the promise of those big words that move me and seem to me not only legal but spiritual in nature. I believe to my core that we are all created equally in God's image and that we all have inherent dignity and worth. And I believe that we are all compelled to work to make that birthright a reality to all, regardless of sex, gender, race, class, religion, or geography.

So, Sunday night, we will have our picnic, watch the fireworks, take a moment to be grateful for our lives and our families and friends, and recommit ourselves once again to what we can do to bring about a better world.

Happy Fourth of July.

Happy New Year! and Goodbye to All That!

I've been reading lots of 2009 retrospectives today.

On Monday, when I get back to work, I'll plan to post a decade overview.

But for my stalwart readers, I thought I'd quickly recap 2009.

It wasn't a great year for sexual justice. The good news is that our network of religious leaders committed to sexual justice grew past 5000, and the Religious Institute continued to grow in revenues, despite the economic turn down.

But, as I think back over the year, some things stand out:

Men Behaving Badly: Oh, Tiger, Charlie Sheen, Chris Brown, Mark Sanford, John Ensign. Nuff said. Can we get through 2010 without a front page sex scandal?

More Men Behaving Badly: Shame on the House and the Senate for caving to the Catholic Bishops and throwing women under the bus on health care reform. Let's send Bart Stupak back to obscurity in 2010.

Men Behaving Timidly: New York and New Jersey, really. Marriage equality is long over due.

Voters Turning Back the Clock: Maine voters, what were you thinking?

Barack Obama: Yes, for ending abstinence only until marriage education programs. Yes, for ending gag rule. But, really, NOTHING on LGBT rights? You PROMISED. We're going to hold you to it in 2010. (But thank you for inviting me to the Christmas party at the White House -- a definite highlight for 2010.)

A year of personal work highlights for me: speaking and/or leading worship in 15 states; serving on the Ministerial Fellowship Committee of the UUA; creating the Congo Sabbath Initiative for V-Day; meetings at the White House and the United Nations; the UUA becoming the first denomination to pass a sexual health competency for candidates for ministry; a beautiful new web site; entering the world of twitter (follow me @revdebra) and Facebook; and wonderful pastoral moments, including presiding over my first LEGAL same sex marriage ceremony.

Thank you to my loyal readers; I am blessed by my ministry and your support.

Blessings to you for the new year.

A Response to Garrision Keill0r: Our Unitarian Universalist Christmas

AN OPEN LETTER TO GARRISON KEILLOR ON OUR UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CHRISTMAS EVE

Dear Mr. Keillor,

I read your article last week on Salon.com called “Don’t Mess with Christmas.” The sub head said, “It’s a Christian holiday…and it’s plain wrong to rewrite Silent Night. Unitarians, I’m talking to you.”

Now, I have always thought that you, the host of the NPR show Prairie Home Companion, were sort of an adopted Unitarian Universalist, right up there with Poet Mary Oliver. I even know UU ministers who don’t start writing their sermons on Saturday nights until your show is over. I guess, I was wrong.

Your article goes on to say this about a Unitarian Church you visited recently in Boston, “Silent Night has been cleverly rewritten to make it more about silence and night and not so much about God.” You conclude, “Christmas is a Christmas holiday – if you’re not in the club, buzz off.”

Oh, Mr. Keillor, there’s so much wrong here, I don’t know where to begin.

You seem to have forgotten that December 25th is an arbitrary date for the birth of Jesus, picked sometime in the 4th century because it was the day of the pagan feast of the unconquered sun, spelled S-U-N, not S-O-N. Those “Christian” symbols of holly and ivy and evergreens and indoor candles you refer to were all part of those pagan solstice rituals. The early church was trying to co-opt this winter holiday to recruit non-believers to Christianity.

You conveniently ignore that even more recently the Christian church didn’t embrace the celebration of Christmas. It was outlawed by English Parliament in the 17th century and by Puritans in America during the 18th. It wasn’t even a recognized l holiday in the United States until 139 years ago.

By targeting Unitarians, you forget that many of the Christmas songs and stories you hold dear were written by Unitarians. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, It Came upon a Midnight Clear, Over the River and Through the Woods, even Jingle Bells. All Unitarian. Oh, and that indoor decorated Christmas tree? Yup, that’s our’s too.

So, Mr. Keillor, we Unitarian Universalists are gathered tonight to celebrate Christmas Eve, to hear the stories of the birth in the manger, the journey of the magi – to light candles and to yes sing Silent Night. Some of us were here earlier to watch the miracle of a children’s Christmas pageant. Some of us are Christian, and we celebrate our cradle faith’s traditions. Some of us, like me, grew up Jewish - - or Hindu or Buddhist or Muslim or secular – but have joined together in our wonderful liberal religion, finding a new religious and spiritual community.

We’re here, not because we think alike, not because we all believe that Jesus was the Messiah or even if there is a God, but because we love alike -- because we hope alike.

We know that those ancient pagans and those early Christians were on to something. That in the darkest time of the year, we need to bring the light inside, to be together with those we love, to reach out to those who have less than we do -- so that we can all be a little warmer, a little more connected, a little less lonely, a little less fearful.

We may not believe that Jesus is God, but we celebrate what Jesus stood for. Loving your neighbor as yourself. Radical hospitality and radical inclusion of all. Speaking truth to power. Taking care of those who are less fortunate. Working together to heal a broken world.

And we celebrate the birth of this one child as a reminder of the promise of each and every new life. In our church, Mr. Keillor, we teach our children that every child is a special child, that every child reminds us that they are “Emmanuel “ which means the divine is with us. We are reminded that every human life, no matter how humble its beginnings, can indeed bless the world.

See, Mr. Keillor, we believe in the miracles. Maybe not the miracles as they are told in the Bible stories, but in the miracles of our lives together. For some of us who are facing illness or personal tragedy or unemployment or family issues, we may be particularly struck by the miracle that we indeed made it to this night. But the reality for each of us is that tonight is the miracle. The miracles of your family – and mine – and the miracle that we are alive at all. The miracles that happen here, right here, in this community, when we join together. The miracle of this darkened sanctuary on this one night, remembering that in the darkest of winters, in the physical world or in the dark part of our souls, even the tiniest light can with faith become brighter and stronger.

In a few minutes, we will light the candles and join our voices and hearts and sing Silent Night. One tiny light will light another until our whole sanctuary is filled with light once again. We’ll do it as metaphor and for tradition and hope and community and love.
And because, Mr. Keillor, Christmas belongs to all of us who chose to celebrate it. I think your Jesus would have liked it that way.

With blessings for your holiday and New Year,
Rev. Debra Haffner, on behalf of the Unitarian Church in Westport, CT

Chanukah 2009

Tonight is the first night of Chanukah. Happy Chanukah! As a Jewish Unitarian Universalist, it is one of the holidays we celebrate in our home.

In case you've forgotten, here is a quick recap of the story (adapted from my blog from two years ago.)

In 167 b.c.e., a Greek leader named Antiochus attempted to institute a Greek state religion. He ordered the takeover of the temple in Jerusalem, had a statute of Zeus built on its altar, and called for ritual sacrifice there and in other Jewish temples throughout the countryside. Mattathias killed the first Jew who came forward to offer a sacrifice as well as a state official, and he and his five sons were forced to escape to the hills. Together, they organized first a small band of rebels to resist Antiochus, which grew to a 6000 person army that retook Jerusalem and the Temple. Three years from the day that Zeus was erected, the 25th of Kislav, Judas Maccabeus and his followers rededicated and purified the Temple in an 8 day celebration. Chanukah has been celebrated more or less continuously for 2,170 years.

Chanukah is the first recorded battle for religious freedom and against efforts to have a minority religion assimilated into a larger whole, reason enough for us to celebrate it in today's world where religious fundamentalists claim that theirs is the only truth.

But the legend of Chanukah also speaks to me. According to a very short passage in the Talmud, the Maccabees came into the temple and after purifying it, went to relight the eternal flame. They only had enough oil for one day. Pressing new oil from the olive trees would take another week. Miraculously the oil lasted for the entire eight days. The Rabbis who wrote the Talmud transformed the telling of the history from a heroic military battle into a story of God’s miracle and grace to the Jewish people. They moved it from a story based on the facts to a story based on the universal need for faith and hope and redemption. It is a truth story, not a true story.

Who among us hasn't needed to find that light within during dark days of the soul?

The need to light the flame in the deep part of winter -- or in the dark part of our lives -- is reflected in Chanukah, in Solstice rituals, in the stories of the journey of the magi. Faith is often part of that journey -- the belief that no matter how dim it seems, that we can count on the light to return. May the Chanukah lights remind us.

Keep Awake This Holiday Season

I preached yesterday about Advent and its messages. Although UU's don't follow the lectionary, I'm always interested in seeing which texts my Christian colleagues are using. I found yesterday's Mark text ominous, but I liked the ending: "keep awake."

Keep awake is an important message as we go through the next four very busy weeks. I encouraged my congregants to let go of the "should's" this holiday season but instead only do the activities that feed their soul.

Here's an excerpt:

Make a promise to yourself to live intentionally during these next four weeks. To let go of the activities on your to do list that don’t feed your soul, and to do the ones that do. If you don’t like writing holiday cards or baking hundreds of cookies, don’t, even if that’s what you have always done. Decide if you love seeing “The Nutcracker” or if this is the year, you’ll finally stop going. Watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “White Christmas” with your family because you can’t wait to see them again, or take the afternoon to read a book. If you enjoy the mall, go. If you don’t, shop online or don’t shop at all. Eat the wonderful foods that you enjoy, but skip the fruitcake. Each of us only has a finite number of December seasons left. Keep awake.

May it be so.

A Thanksgiving Valentine

I'm taking a break from all things political, starting this evening. I hope you will too.

Thanksgiving to me is a religious holiday, a spiritual holiday. There is nothing more sacred than giving thanks. Meister Eckhardt, 800 years ago, said that the only prayer we ever real need is "thank you."

And I am so grateful for all my blessings.

I am grateful for my family. And I am so thankful that we will all be together over the next few days.

I am grateful for the chosen family of my heart, those who live near me and those who live far away. You know who you are.

I am grateful for my wonderful colleagues at the Religious Institute and the Christian Community. Kate, Tim, Kayla, Amanda, and Steve, thank you for all you do and all you are.

I am grateful to all who support our work at the Religious Institute.

I am grateful for health -- mine and the health of those I love most in the world.

I am grateful for ministry and the opportunity to serve in the world.

I am grateful to you, my regular readers.

I am grateful for work, education, housing, health care and food -- and acutely aware of how privileged I am to have all of them in a world where so many don't.

I am so blessed and so thankful.

I hope you will take time tomorrow and through the weekend to reflect on all that is good in your life...and to whisper the prayer, "thank you."

A Call for Shared Ministry

On Sunday, I offered the "Charge to the Congregation" at the instillation of my colleague and friend, Rev. David Bryce, as the senior minister at The First Church in Belmont, MA. Although the words were in some way specific to this Unitarian Universalist community, in others, I think they apply to all of us who are members of faith communities.

I decided to share part of them here.


“Shared ministry” has perhaps become such a buzz word in our congregations that it is a cliché. But it is true: we make community together; we care for each other together. Surely you have learned during your years of having an interim minister, how important it is that you are there for each other. You and David are partners in this shared journey.


I urge you to remember the core principles of Buddhism that I have heard summed up this way: Show up. Speak the Truth. Do What You Do With Enthusiasm. Don’t Get Attached to the Outcome. The last is often the hardest for many of us. Remember that none of us is as smart as all of us are together, and that sometimes what we most want as individuals, may not be what is best for the community as a whole. Believe in the democratic process. Work together not for common ground, but as I often say in my own ministry, for the common good, indeed for the higher ground. William Sloane Coffin, the great 20th century minister, said, “Human unity is not something we are called to create, but only to recognize it and then make it manifest.”


Know that ultimately you – each of you, alone and together -- are responsible for the well being of this church community, and for it being a prophetic voice in the world. Practice radical hospitality – seek out the newcomer, be inclusive of all people, work to becoming a multicultural community, be a sexually healthy faith community, assure the safety and care of all who enter your doors.


Be a beacon to the world. Think about how you can take the “good news” of Unitarian Universalism out into the world -- into the community of Belmont, but also to serve the needs of the most marginalized in surrounding areas. Speak out for social justice in your town, in your state, and in the nation. In the words of the UUA’s latest theme, stand on the side of love.

Ministerial Credentialing

I'm just back from five days at the meetings of the Ministerial Fellowship Committee of the UUA. It's the committee responsible for reviewing candidates for our ministry and granting preliminary and final fellowship.

This is my third meeting, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to be of service to my denomination in this way. I know it may sound simplistic, but I LOVE the Unitarian Universalist Association, I LOVE being one of its ministers, and I am so moved by the 13 other people who serve with me on this committee.

All of our meetings with candidates are confidential, but to those of my readers who are in process, I want you to know that this is one of the finest group of people I know, that we want you to succeed, and that if you pay attention to all the feedback along the way, address your identified growing edges, learn and integrate the content we clearly outline that we require, have a strong commitment and understanding of our movement, its history, and polity, and connect with your future colleagues, you will succeed and even enjoy meeting with us.

My heart is filled.

Blessings for President Obama, Blessings for Us All

I am away in Mexico on vacation (plus doing a few workshops) at one of my favorite places on earth.

Tomorrow, a group of us will gather in a dining hall to watch the inauguration. On one hand, I am missing being in the center of it all, but also relieved to not be in the crowds in Washington.

I went to Jimmy Carter's swearing in and an inaugural ball. That may have to suffice for my bucket list.

But I am sure like your's, where ever you are, that part of your heart and surely all of our hopes are with the President-elect and his family this Martin Luther King's birthday holiday.

And I know many of you are joining me in prayer for President Obama, to be brilliant and compassionate and wise and to lead us into a better America and a better world.

And I know you know that this one man cannot do this alone -- but all of us must take responsibility for what we can do to bless the world.

Blessings for the new President, the Vice - President, their families.

God bless America.

America, bless God.

New Year's Resolutions

There were wall to wall (okay, mat to mat) people at yoga on both Saturday and Sunday mornings. I had to park at the parking lot behind the parking lot at the gym (reminding myself that the extra steps would be good for me.) And yes, I've resolved to increase yoga from two times a week to three or four, lose the weight I gained over the holidays, and I've even signed up for the More Magazine half marathon for women over 40 in April. And to keep myself honest, I'm telling YOU, my loyal readers about these resolutions.

Not far behind my almost annual weight resolution are the resolutions to be a better person -- to be more loving, more patient, more careful with my words, kinder, and more forgiving. I resolve to try harder to bring more of my ministerial best self into all of my day to day interactions -- including being more patient, kinder, and more forgiving of myself.

I am resolving to enjoy every minute of watching the inauguration, leaving the issue of the invocation behind me for the next few weeks. As one Renaissance participant said, "they can have the invocation if we can have the legislation." I resolve to be more open to seeking common ground with diverse religious leaders on areas where we can indeed find consensus -- and I resolve to continue to speak out without fear when we can't. I resolve to finish and submit the proposal for the book that is being born inside me. I resolve to be the best steward possible of the Religious Institute and our exciting new projects.

And I resolve to pray...to open my heart and my life to what is being asked of me...and to love my neighbor as myself.

What resolutions are in your heart today?

Blessings for the New Year

I had the privilege of co-serving worship on New Year's day at Renaissance Weekend.

It was a lovely way of beginning the New Year. I closed with these words from Rev. Dr. Howard Thurman, the founder of the Church of the Larger Fellowship of All People:

"In whatever sense this year is a New Year for you, may the moment find you eager and unafraid, ready to take it by the hand with joy and with gratitude."

May this be a year of courage, strength, adventure, joy, and gratitude. As Meister Eckhardt wrote more than 800 years ago, the only prayer we really every need is thank you.

Chanukah, Christmas, and YOUR Miracle Story

It's Christmas Eve and the fourth night of Chanukah.

And I hope by late afternoon, your to-do list is done, and you can take a few moments to reflect.

Chanukah and Christmas are both stories of miracles. The miracle of the band of brothers that turned into an army fighting for religious freedom. The miracle of the oil that lasted eight days. The miracle of the baby born to the poor teenage couple who changed the world.

The angels told Mary and the shepherds "don't be afraid." They remind us to open our hearts to the possibilities of the miracles around us.

Your story is a miracle too. The miracle of being born -- of being alive. The miracle that you love and are loved. The miracle of having TODAY to create as well as you can. The miracles that surround us.

Merry Christmas. Happy Chanukah. May you experience the miracles of the holidays.

Chanukah 2008

Monday is the first day of Chanukah...tonight we light the second candle on the menorah.

I have to admit to having to recheck the historical story of Chanukah each year. I remember the part about the oil lasting eight days; it's the rest that doesn't come easily.

So, in case you have forgotten, here's the basic story, copied from my blog last year:

In 167 b.c.e., a Greek leader named Antiochus attempted to institute a Greek state religion. He ordered the takeover of the temple in Jerusalem, had a statute of Zeus built on its altar, and called for ritual sacrifice there and in other Jewish temples throughout the countryside. Mattathias killed the first Jew who came forward to offer a sacrifice as well as a state official, and he and his five sons were forced to escape to the hills. Together, they organized first a small band of rebels to resist Antiochus, which grew to a 6000 person army that retook Jerusalem and the Temple.

Three years from the day that Zeus was erected, the 25th of Kislav, Judas Maccabeus and his followers rededicated and purified the Temple in an 8 day celebration. Chanukah has been celebrated more or less continuously for 2,171 years.

According to a very short passage in the Talmud, the Maccabees came into the temple and after purifying it, went to relight the eternal flame. They only had enough oil for one day. Pressing new oil from the olive trees would take another week. Miraculously the oil lasted for the entire eight days.

The Rabbis who wrote the Talmud transformed the telling of the history from a heroic military battle into a story of God’s miracle and grace to the Jewish people. They moved it from a story based on the facts to a story based on the universal need for faith and hope and redemption. It is a truth story, not a true story.

So, take a moment tonight, whether you celebrate Chanukah or not, to be thankful for religious freedom and diversity. Be thankful for the light returning to the earth -- and maybe to your soul. Be thankful for the reminder that a small group of people can change the world. Celebrate the miracle of your life and the lives of the people you love. Light the light within you and bring it into the world. So may it be.