International AIDS Conference -- Traveling Mercies

The 16th International AIDS Conference begins tomorrow in Toronto. I won't be there this year, but I have attended some of the previous conferences. More than 20,000 researchers and clinicians from around the world are expected.

At previous conferences major breakthroughs have been announced. It would be wonderful if that would happen again. The numbers are staggering -- 38.3 million people around the world living with HIV, 3 million people dying of it each year.

I just read the U.S. government has sharply limited the number of CDC and NIH scientists who are being allowed to go to the conference. For those who are there, it may be hard to explain why it is that the U.S. continues to promote abstinence-only-education programs as a central component of our global strategy and why US monies cannot go to programs that reach out to sex workers. It seems immoral that so much of the U.S. AIDS work allows politics and ideology to trump science and prevention.

I have to admit I'm glad I'm not off to an international airport this morning. The lines look staggering and the new regulations mean giving up one's lipstick, water bottle, iced latte, and carry on cosmetics. I thank God but more importantly Scotland Yard for foiling this attempt. I cringe though how people like Dick Cheney and Joe Lieberman are using it to attack those who are against the war in Iraq. I will continue to pray for peace...and for the safety of all of those traveling to Toronto today.

Have a blessed weekend.

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Josh Blue -- a note of hope

I watched far more reality tv than you might imagine. Our rule for TV watching for our 13 year old son is that he can watch adult programs if he watches them with a parent and allows us "teachable moments" during the commercials to talk about our values about what we've seen.

He likes "Last Comic Standing", a show replete with teachable moments. Many of the comedian contestants did very adult, racy humor that frankly shocked even me at times. But one comedian never did, and last night he won.

His name is Josh Blue for those of you who aren't TV watchers. He is 27 and has cerebral palsy. He is wickedly funny and original, and incorporates his disability into his act. My son and I thought he would win the competion from the beginning of the season. I don't think he once told what he himself called a "genital joke."

I found his winning a hopeful sign about America growing up...growing up about people with disabilities and growing up that humor doesn't need to be about sex or body parts. Yes, we had a few teachable moments last night -- but we also laughed together.

PS This seemed like a good time to promote my sister's very funny blog about knitting. She can be read at http://knitandplenty.typepad.com If you knit or love a knitter, I think you'll enjoy it.

Get Involved

I'm proud to be from Connecticut this morning. We sent a message well beyond our borders yesterday to politicans who support the war in Iraq. It felt good to vote. Apparently it was the highest turnout ever in a primary.

There are very definite rules about clergy advocating one candidate over another. And I won't do that. The message I want to get out though is that our votes can make a difference. When it comes to sexual justice issues like abortion, contraception, marriage equality, sex education, and so on, who is in office on the federal, state, and local difference makes a difference.

The elections are less than three months away. I hope you will get involved in working for pro-choice, pro-equality candidates at every level.

Maybe if my mother had raised me differently

I want you to imagine for a minute a poll that asked the American public this after left handedness: Do you think it is something people are born with, linked to upbringing, or just how some prefer to write?

Surely we would think such questions absurd, despite the fact that for many centuries people thought left handed people were immoral, stupid, or even evil. (In the interest of full disclosure, I am left handed.)

Well, that's the basic question the Pew Research Center asked in July about homosexuality. They found that 36% of Americans think that homosexuality is innate (up 6% since 2003), 13% think it is linked to upbringing, and 38% say it's "just how some prefer to live." Now, the good news is that there have been significant increases in the view that homosexuality is innate among college graduates, liberals, mainline Protestants, and those who seldom or never attend church.

But, am I the only one who finds it offensive that questions of science are being put to public polls? There is a great deal of science about what causes each of us to have a particular sexual orientation, and although some of the prenatal and genetic factors are still being understood, surely we know that it's not upbringing nor is it a choice. I always ask people who advance the choice argument "When did you first know that you were heterosexual? Was it a choice you made?"

There is a lot of education to be done. I'm pleased to tell you that we have received a grant from the Carpenter Foundation to begin the development of a Study Note on sexual difference, which will help congregations and clergy address both the science of sexual orientation and a theological framework on sexual difference. We hope it will be available by late spring 2007.

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Morality of Abortion

Yesterday, I wrote about a new Pew study on public opinions on abortion, homosexuality, and stem cell research, and I recommended reading it to you.

But, I remain troubled by the way certain items were worded in their study and the report. They talk for example about "gay marriage" and "gay adoption" rather than marriage equality and adoption by same sex parents. I don't believe that sexual orientation should be used as an adjective -- I an not in a "straight marriage" and I don't believe that there is such a thing as "straight adoption." How we talk about an issue helps define it...one wonders if answers would be different if instead of asking "do you oppose or favor gay marriage" Pew had asked "do you favor or oppose allowing same sex couples equal rights to marriage?"

But, it is their question on the morality of abortion that really concerns me. Pew asked: "Is abortion morally wrong? In nearly all circumstances? In some circumstances? Not a moral issue? Don't know." Huh? How is that a neutral way of posing this question? How would I a pro-choice faith leader have answered that question?

Of course abortion is a moral issue. And yes, in some circumstances (like sex selection of the fetus or after viability) I would believe that it was morally wrong. 49% of people chose that option when presented with the four possible responses. But, I also believe that most women make moral decisions about abortions when deciding that they can't carry a pregnancy to term in their own individual circumstances. Had I been polled, the researchers would have concluded that I belonged in the group that thinks abortion is morally wrong. They would have been wrong.

Next time, maybe Pew can ask "Is Abortion A Moral Decision?" without biasing the answers.

Public Attitudes on Abortion, Same Sex Marriage, Stem Cell Research

I read a new report by The Pew Research Center for the People and the Press this weekend on abortion, same sex marriage, and stem cell research that concluded that "despite talk of culture wars...there has been no polarization of the public into liberal and conservative camps."

They found:

56% oppose marriage for gays and lesbians, but 54% now support civil unions.

51% people that abortion should be generally available or allowed with more limits.

56% support stem cell research using embryos.

These aren't exactly a public mandate for sexual and reproductive rights. On the positive side, Americans are becoming more supportive of civil unions, with more than half of people aged 18 - 29 favoring same sex marriage. Conversely, baby boomers are more supportive of legal abortion than younger ones, with only 25% of people 18 - 29 saying that abortion should be generally available. It makes me worried about the future of reproductive rights.

Not surprisingly religious background makes a difference. A majority of mainline Protestants are more liberal on these issues than white evangelicals and black Protestants. For example, 71% of mainline Protestants are supportive of abortion in at least some circumstances compared to only 23% of evangelicals, 36% of black Protestants, and 44% of Catholics.

My take away message? We're not there yet. The need to talk not only about the public health and civil liberties issues is acute; more importantly though religious leaders need to talk about the moral framework for these issues. If you're not familiar with our "Open Letters to Religious Leaders" on marriage equality and abortion, visit our web site.

I'll blog about two specific questions in this poll that that particularly trouble me later on this week.

My Hundredth Blog Post

I was going to write this morning about the new report from the Guttmacher Institute that the decades long decine in the U.S. abortion rate was coming to an end and the moral imperative of assuring that all women have access to contraception, sexuality information and education, and abortion services.

But, when I opened my blog this morning, I saw that this is my 100th blog post! In the blogsphere, isn't that a cause for a celebration or a party?

I love writing my blog, except on those days where I can't think about what to write about. I love that it offers me a virtual pulpit to comment about what's going on in the world about sexuality and religion without needing to find a media outlet who might be interested. I love that more than 250 of you have become regular readers, and that the blog has generated speaking engagements, media requests, and even two donations to the Religious Institute on Sexual Morality, Justice, and Healing. I love hearing from readers about what they find useful --more importantly, hopeful.

So, on this blog milestone, may I offer you my prayers and wishes that in your own life you celebrate the connection between your sexuality and your spirituality with joy, holiness, and integrity.

Stay cool this summer weekend.

Rev. Debra

NPR, Adolescents and the Media

NPR has been running a program all week on the media's influence on children and teenagers. I'm particularly interested in it because as I've told you before I'm writing my third parenting book this summer.

Children today have access to more media than ever before, although the actual number of hours they consume it hasn't increased dramatically. Many of today's parents grew up with one television in the family room that showed three to six channels; today's child and teen is likely to be in a home with more than three televisions, including one in their bedroom, which have dozens of channels, as well as computers, cell phones, video consoles, MP 3 players, video and dvd players, and so on.

I've learned in my talks to parents around the country that parents often feel out of control, and so I was delighted to be asked by NPR's Mark Silver to do an online Q&A about parents, their children, and the media. He did a great job -- it includes such topics as R rated movies, violent video games, and viewing sexual IM exchanges, including how to use my three part process to talk to your teen about oral sex. You can't get a much better pulpit that National Public Radio; I'm grateful for the opportunity.

The Dixie Chicks

We saw the Dixie Chicks last night at Madison Square Garden. They are terrific performers and put on a great concert.

The Garden was nearly filled. The audience was multicultural and intergenerational. I had thought we might be the oldest people there, but the audience ranged from seven to eighty. I talked with a seven-year-old girl in line who were there with her father. I asked her who's idea the concert was; she smiled and said, "My dad's. He rocks." Several people held signs that said, "I'm Gay, but I love chicks."

Their new single "I'm not ready to be nice", a response to the response about their comments about the Iraq War resonated with the audience. During "Mad as Hell", people held up signs that said "Thank You." My personal new favorite is "Lullaby"; it's a song to their seven children, but to this minister's ears, it would be a wonderful song for weddings.

For a few hours last night, my world felt hopeful and unified. If only the real world was.

Teens and the FDA

Today is my birthday. It's also the anniversary of my 31st year working in the sexual and reproductive health field. You can do the math.

I love my life and feel very grateful for my family, my friends, and my ministry. But, it's hard not to be a little discomforted by the number today.

But, I'm also thinking about age this morning as I read that the Food and Drug Administration announced yesterday that it is ready to reconsider its long delayed action on over-the-counter emergency contraception. Long overdue, it's hard not to be cynical that this was announced the day before hearings on a new FDA commissioner.

But, what most struck me is that the FDA told the manufacturer that the drug can't be available over the counter to young women 18 and younger. Coming on the heels of last week's Senate vote on transporting teens for abortions , it's another blow to the ability of sexually active young women to protect themselves. It's a bow to conservative groups who incorrectly continue to assert that availability of contraception causes young women to have sex. That's a little like saying that because I have an umbrella in my car, I'm going to drive some place where it's raining. I can honestly say that I've never met a teenager who is having sex in order to use a contraceptive.

I'm glad I'm not a teenager today -- or even in need of contraception anymore -- but I am a parent, an aunt, a friend, and a minister to many young people. I know that teenagers need help in learning how to make healthy, ethical, moral decisons about their sexuality, but I also know that many young people aged 18 and younger are sexually active. According to recent studies, 6 in 10 teenagers have had sexual intercourse by senior year. It is immoral to me to withold contraception from young people because it makes us uncomfortable that they are having sex.

That's why I am so glad that the Religious Institute has recently received funding from the Moriah Foundation to develop a new "Open Letter to Religious Leaders on Adolescent Sexuality." It will join our series of theological frameworks on abortion, sexuality education and marriage equality. Stay tuned.

Blessings on Your Ordination, Catholic Women Priests Part 2

My ordination in May 2003 was literally one of the best nights of my life. Surrounded by almost 300 of my family, friends, colleagues, and congregants, I felt a sense of joy, completion, blessing, and God's grace at the moment of ordination that was quite unlike any other experience in my life. When I left the sanctuary that evening for the first time as "the Reverend Debra Haffner", I quite unexpectedly began to sob deeply, filled with both joy and trembling about where this path would take me.

I can't help but wonder what the twelve women in Pittsburgh must be feeling this morning. At 3 p.m. today they will be board a boat in Pittsburgh for a floating ordination ceremony by Roman Catholic Women Priests. Five such ordination ceremonies have previously taken place in Europe and Canada; some of these women priests have been excommunicated. The Pittsburgh diocese has decried the ordination, saying that they "undermine the unity of the church."

I wonder whether the Pittsburgh diocese had anything to say about how the sex abuse scandal among male Roman Catholic priests undermined the unity of the church.

The fact is that a majority of American's Roman Catholics support the ordination of women, just like a majority support contraception and abortion. And the Roman Catholic church is desperate for clergy; the number of priests has been declining for the past forty years. Ironically the online story from the Washington Post that I read about today's ordinations, featured an ad for Vocations Placement, asking people to take a vocational test to see if they are "called to be a Catholic monk, nun, or priest."

My thoughts and prayers will be with these women at 3 p.m. today. They are fulfilling their calling and they are challenging the very church that they love to include them and their gifts fully. I hope today will be one of the best days of their lives.


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Roman Catholics and Women

Roman Catholic Women Priests?

To most of us, this picture hardly looks like a radical act. Women priests bestowing blessings. But these are Roman Catholic women who have been ordained without the sanction of Rome.

I've been in Boston for the past few days, visiting my daughter who is interning for the Boston Women's Health Collective. The front page of the metro section of the Boston Globe this morning features the story of Jean Marie Marchant, who resigned from her position in the Archdiocese of Boston, "because she had secretly participated in a ceremony last year in which she says she was ordained as a Roman Catholic priest." This coming Monday, in Pittsburgh, another 12 women are set to be ordained by Roman Catholic Womenpriests.

My heart and prayers go out to these women -- called to the ministry in the denomination they love that refuses to recognize their gifts or authority. It makes me proud to be part of a movement calling for full inclusion of women in all aspects of religious life, and part of a denomination where more than half of the ordained clergy are women. Today's article reminded me not to take that for granted.

Have a blessed weekend.

Rev. Debra

Crackdown on Child Sexual Abuse?

I just read an AP story that President Bush signed the "Adam Walsh Act" today. According to the AP writer, it is a "sweeping crackdown on child sexual abuse" and includes a new national registry of sex offenders, tougher penalties for Internet use for child pornography, and required background checks for adopting and foster care parents.

With the exception of the last, I'm not convinced that the bill is actually going to do much to prevent child sexual abuse. A national online registry of people who have served time for sex offenses may give people the illusion of safety, but it ignores the reality that the vast majority of the time children know their abusers well. It isn't strangers that sexually abuse children; it's their parents, step parents, family friends, baby sitters, coaches, teachers, and clergy. They aren't likely to be listed on any registry. The bill, at least as far as I can discern, includes NO money for primary prevention -- educating parents and children on how to protect themselves.

My heart goes out to any family like the Walsh's that have suffered through a missing child and to any person who has suffered child sexual abuse. I don't begin to think that I understand the horror and pain involved. But, I want to see real programs that help prevent abuse from happening in the first place, including efforts to support not demonize offenders who have successfully completed prision terms and treatment.

For information about my book, "A Time to Heal: Keeping Children Safe and Ministering to Sex Offenders" send us an email at info@religiousinstitute.org

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Washington State Court Says NO to Marriage Equality

I just read the news that the Washington State Court, in a 5 -4 ruling, upheld the state's Defense of Marriage Act in a suit brought by 19 same sex couples for the right to marry.

I am saddened that another state court has decided that there is a constitutional reason to deny marriage to couples of the same sex. And, I am deeply disturbed by the rational of the decision. Like the NY decision a few weeks ago, the Court based their decision on the ability of a couple to biologically procreate.

This is the actual quote: "DOMA is constitutional because...limiting marriage to opposite sex couples furthers procreation, essential to the survival of the human race..."

So, does that mean that fertility tests are next for heterosexual couples seeking to marry in Washington State? Infertile couples can't further procreation (except with the same help available to same sex couples!), neither can couples where the woman is past menopause. But, wait...maybe there needs to be testing to be sure a couple actually is planning to have children before a marriage licensed can be issued? After all, there are many heterosexual couples who choose not to have children despite their fertility ability; perhaps they will be denied the right to get married as well.

"Survival of the human race" may have been a justification for marriage in biblical times, but Genesis 2 recognized that people marry for companionship, emotional attachment, and sex. Procreation isn't even mentioned in this account of creation.

Perhaps the five judges in Washington State would have been more honest if they had just admitted that they were uncomfortable with same sex sexual behavior and same sex couples and left it at that. As it stands, their decision legitimizes discrimination and denies the rights of marriage to loving same sex couples.

Endangering Teenage Women

The Senate voted yesterday 65 - 34 to make it a crime for anyone but a parent to help a teenage girl obtain an abortion in a neighboring state without parental consent.

I couldn't help but wonder how many of those supporting the bill have ever talked with a desperate pregnant teenage woman. I flashed back to my years as director of counseling at the Planned Parenthood affiliate in Washington, D.C. where at times we provided confidential pregnancy alternatives counseling to daughters of Members of Congress. I some times had to remind myself and our counselors that our responsibility was to our clients even if their parent was actively working to eliminate abortion services.

I strongly support parental involvement whenever possible for teenagers facing unplanned pregnancies. But yesterday's vote doesn't increase that involvement; it just means that some teenage girls will choose to travel on their own without any adult support rather than continue a pregnancy or seek their parent's consent.

The Senators appear to be more concerned about punishing teenage girls than preventing teenage pregnancies in the first place. How else can they explain that they rejected in a 51 to 48 vote an amendment to the bill that would have created programs to prevent teeenage pregnancy?

Faith and Science

This morning's New York Times includes a review of several new books on the relationship of religion and science, most notably debates about whether the theory of evolution and belief in a higher power can co-exist.

You can read it at http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/25/science/25books.html?ex=1154491200&en=46a4047f0ae196fc&ei=5070&emc=eta1

I have to admit to finding this debate tiresome. Having just spent two weeks in the Galapagos Islands, the inspiration for Darwin's work on evolution, the answer for me is clearly both. During my days on the islands with the animals, one could see and understand Darwin's observations first hand. In fact, we read Darwin's journal while we were on vacation and were struck by how little had changed since the voyage of the Beagle. But I also felt God's prescence keenly in the glorious experience of worlds unshaped by human intervention. I see no conflict in my training as a public health scientist and my training as a faith leader. I think I may skip adding these seven new books to the collection growing on my nightstand to be read.

Tell Your Senator How to Really Protect Teenagers

The Senate will be voting on what has been labeled the Child Custody Protection Act (CCPA) tomorrow. The CCPA would make it a federal crime for anyone other than a young woman’s parent—including a grandparent, aunt, or religious counselor—to accompany a minor across state lines to obtain an abortion unless the minor first complies with her home-state’s parental involvement laws.

That's right -- a federal crime. Let's say a young woman is pregnant because of familial incest and her own state prohibits abortion except with parental consent. She goes to her minister or rabbi -- or her grandmother -- for help to get to the neighboring state where such consent isn't required. It would be a federal crime for them to offer help. Instead, the girl is told she must tell her parents or continue the pregnancy or make the trip on her own. Perhaps they should have labeled this bill the Teen Endangerment Act.

Now, I believe that in most cases, young people need the support of their parents and families in making a decision about an unplanned pregnancy. I also know that most young people will involve their parents, especially with other supportive adults helping them to do so. But, in the past thirty years, I have counseled young women where such knowledge would have put her at grave physical, psychological, and/or economic risk. I live in a state where young people have the ability to make pregnancy-related decisions without parental consent, but that's not true in most states anymore.

The CCPA will not protect adolescents, it will only punish them for getting pregnant, maybe for having had sex. The Senate will be offered the opportunity to vote tomorrow on two amendments to support teenage pregnancy prevention services as a real alternative.

The Senate switchboard number is 202-224-3121. Let your Senator know that as a person of faith you support teen pregnancy programs that work not jail terms for clergy and grandparents.

Thoughts after the Galapagos

I'm back from a ten day trip to the Galapagos Islands. This bird is a blue footed booby, beginning his mating dance by lifting his foot for a partner. We saw hundreds of these exquisite birds, along with pelicans, herons, egrets, finches, and mocking birds. I swam with sea lions and great tortoises, and we sea kayaked in some of the most peaceful places on earth. I felt graced and grateful every day.

The animals on the Galapagos Islands are not afraid of humans -- they haven't been hurt by us so they welcomed us to share their space for a little while. How sharply that contrasted with the news bulletins from the Middle East in the past two weeks. I wrote many sermon passages in my mind.

There was both bad news and good news for sexual rights while I was on vacation. The House voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment. The Senate voted 63 to 37 to expand federally funded embryonic stem cell research, and then the President vetoed it. The House released a report that said that the vast majority of federally funded "pregnancy resource centers" lie to women about the side effects of abortion procedures, and the FDA approved a new implantable contraceptive method. The President decideded to give an impromptu neck rub to the German Prime Minister to her obvious dismay.

Right now, I'm missing the blue heron and the blue footed booby and days that asked me to do nothing but pay attention to the wonders of creation. I'll start commenting on the world again tomorrow. For now, think about what your life would be if no one had ever hurt you.

Gone Fishing

I'll be on vacation until July 21st. Why not use this as an opportunity to visit the web site of the Religious Institute on Sexual Morality, Justice, and Healing and find out more about our ministry? Or scroll through the archives on the blog, and tell me which ones are your favorites.

Leave a comment about your favorite one of my blog entries, send me an email at info@religiousinstitute.org with your snail mail address, and we'll send you a complimentary poster of the Religious Declaration. Have a blessed two weeks!

New York Court of Appeals Says NO

Last July 10, 2005, I had the privilege of performing a commitment ceremony for two friends of mine on their 50th anniversary in their apartment in New York City. Surrounded by their dear friends, they spoke of their life together, their love for each other, and their hopes that one day I would be able to perform a legal wedding ceremony for them. They had had a civil union in Vermont, they were registered as domestic partners in NYC, I offered the same blessings as I would at any marriage, they had shared an entire lifetime, BUT, they still wanted to call themselves married in the eyes of the state.

And I had hoped that I'd get to perform just such a ceremony after the Court of Appeals decided the LAMBDA case. Instead, the Court earlier today ruled 4 -2 that current law in NY does not permit gay and lesbian couples to marry.

My heart broke when I read that news. Not just for my friends Peter and Kenneth, not just for the couples I married in New Paltz in 2004 under threat of arrest, but for all the couples and all the families who were once again told that they really didn't deserve the same rights as straight couples and families. I believe that civil marriage is a civil right, but more -- I believe that when love is present, the sacred is in our midst. Surely God hears the cries of those families once again denied today.

Andrew Sullivan and Me!

At 6:30 am this morning, I discovered that 300 people had read my blog today. I thought there was something wrong with the counter. When I investigated, I discovered that author and columnist Andrew Sullivan had included a link to my blog on Rush and Viagra in his post this morning. As of a few minutes ago, I had had 5600 visitors to my blog today.

Up until today, my daily high was 200...so I'm pretty excited about this connection. And I hope some of these people will be curious enough about the connection between sexuality and religion to return to find out more. After all, how many sexologist ministers can there be in the blogosphere?

Now, What Will Be The Media's Excuse?

Faith in Public Life is a new organization "founded by America's diverse faith leaders to strengthen faith movements sharing a call to pursue justice and the common good."

Their new web site has been in development for the last year, and it is a wonderful resource for people of faith working on social justice issues. Want to know who is in your area working on AIDS or homelessness or poverty or the war in Iraq? Click on "Mapping Faith." Need to find out who is blogging about faith issues from a progressive perspective or who might be a good speaker? This site can help you.

I am very pleased to be included in their new "Voicing Faith Media Bureau." The list includes such people as Sister Joan Chittister, Rev. Dr. Bob Edgar, Imam Feisel Abdul Rauf, Rev. Alexia Salvatierra, Rev. Dr. Susan Thistelthwaite, and other national religious leaders who are working for social justice. Reporters and producers will no longer be able to say that they just didn't know who to call when they want a mainstream or progressive religious point of view for a story. I'm honored to be listed and hopeful that this will help the media find progressive religious voices on sexual justice issues.

Check out their web site and let me know what you think.

Happy July 4th!

Happy Fourth of July!

I'm back from St. Louis and the annual meeting of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.

I conducted a short multifaith worship service on Saturday morning at 8:00 am. I was concerned that only a few people would get up for the service. But, there were close to 50 people there -- sex educators, sex counselors, sex therapists. People in their twenties to people in their late seventies. Straight people, gay people, bisexual people, people of transgendered experience. People of faith and people of little faith. Maybe even people of no faith who were curious.

It turned out there was a workshop starting immediately at 8:30 am in the same room. We had a little bit of trouble with the ipod music system that my 13 year old son had figured out for me before I left Connecticut. I had to cut my sermon back as I was delivering it.

None of that mattered. The service came together. We sang together, clapped together, spoke the names of people in our hearts, prayed together, and the sermon "worked." The spirit was present.

No more so than the concluding hymn. We spontaneously joined hands and together sang the chorus of Jason Shelton's moving hymn, "Standing on the Side of Love." Tears ran down many faces as we joined our hearts and voices together:

"Hands joined together, our hearts beat as one,
Emboldened by faith, we dare to proclaim,
We are standing on the side of love."

So may it be on this holiday of liberty and freedom.

Original Blessing

I'm in St. Louis at the annual meeting of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Yes, this is my second trip to St. Louis in the past week, if you have been tracking my travels.

I'll be leading a multifaith worship service on Saturday morning, called "Standing on the Side of Love." This is my third worship service at an AASECT annual meeting; several people told me tonight that it's the only religious service they go to each year. That feels like a big responsibility.

I'm going to be preaching about the need for sexologists who have been alienated from faith to once again become theologians. I'm going to introduce my concept of "original blessing."

Here's a small excerpt from my sermon. If you'd like me to send you a copy of the entire sermon, send me an email at the Religious Institute.

"You surely have heard about the dogma of original sin which at heart says that because we are born through sex, each of us carries sin in our lives. But if we are to be theologians, we must counter that concept. Let's talk instead about original blessing. How joyful it is that each of us is born out of passion, hopefully out of love --- the miracle of our birth and the miracle of our life begin with the miracle of a sexual act. How radically different the world might be if original blessing became the message of our religious communities."

May you have a blessed July 4th weekend. Celebrate our freedoms.

Rev. Debra

Rush Limbaugh's hypocrisy

Of course, you have heard this news. On Monday, Rush Limbaugh was stopped at the airport because of a vial of Viagra in his suitcase in someone else's name. The press reports focused on whether this was a violation of his parole on drug charges.

Not one asked the question: What was Rush doing with Viagra? Now, that may seem like an obvious question, but this is the man who in 2004 wrote a column called, "Close Your Fly, You Won't Die." This is a man who says that one of his 35 truths is "Abstinence protects against STDS and pregnancy - every time it's tried." This is a man who supports abstinence-only-until-marriage education that teaches that sex only belongs in marriage, the program that says that sex in marriage is the "expected standard of human sexual activity."

The news reports also haven't mentioned that Rush is divorced -- three times -- or that he is single today. So, if Rush is using Viagra for the same reason other men use Viagra, does that mean...? You bet. So much for expected standards. So much for living according to the values you espouse in the public square. If I was Rush's minister, I'd want to talk to him about how it's important to make sexual decisions consistent with your personal values.

But this is what I really want to know -- did they find an equal number of condoms in his suitcase? Because, Rush, if you aren't going to be abstinent, they are the only thing that are going to protect you.

Support the First Amendment

It's hard to believe that the First Amendment needs your support -- but it does. Americans United for Separation of Church and State and The Interfaith Alliance have created a new internet petition campaign to safeguard our "first freedom" -- our right to practice our religion without coercion and for separation of church and state.

The first bullet point of the petition says "Every American should have the right to make personal decisons -- about family life, reproductive health, end-of-life care and other matters of personal conscience." As my regular readers know, I have taken some progressive religious leaders to task for not engaging sexual justice issues, so I am delighted to see this that TIA and Americans United have addressed reproductive health and by inference GLBT issues directly.

Let's help them get millions of signatures. Go to www.firstfreedomfirst.com and sign the petition. Pass it on. As the petition ends, let us "join together, as the most diverse nation in the world, to commit ourselves to defending and preserving this freedom.

Do it now. It will take you less than two minutes. It will be today's good deed.

National AIDS Testing Day

This wonderful piece of art was created just for June 27, 2006, which has been declared as National HIV/AIDS Testing Day by the Centers for Disease Control and the National Association of People with AIDS.

I have accepted an invitation to be a member of the CDC's new Faith Alliance. I was frankly a little surprised to be asked during this administration. They assured me that they knew who I was and my positions on HIV prevention. I had to say yes.

Religious communities have an important role to play in HIV -- churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples can and must educate people how to protect themselves against the virus, we can encourage people to be tested and to reach out for counseling, we can provide solace and support for those who are HIV positive, and we can care for those who are ill. How could we consider doing less?

If you have never been tested and might be at risk, there is no better time than today to make an appointment. Go to www.hivtest.org and find a testing and counseling site near you.

UUA General Assembly, Part II

Even the St. Louis Arch sent a welcoming message.

I'm just back from the General Assembly of the Unitarian Universalist Association, where I received final fellowship in the ministry. (See Friday's entry below.) What a joy to be there!

I heard wonderful talks by such people as Welton Gaddy, Barry Lynn, Rebecca Parker, and Mary Oliver. I spent hours browsing in the exhibit hall, talking to people from organizations promoting every possible social justice issue, including sexual justice. (And yes, I left with several new books and one new pair of chalice earrings!) It was wonderful being in a religious community where marriage equality and reproductive choice are GIVENS -- not to be debated or argued, but to be celebrated.

The concluding worship service on Sunday morning was the highlight of the weekend. I LIKE megachurch. There were 5000 people worshipping together, singing together, clapping together, praying together. The worship leader was the Reverend Gail Geisenhainer from Vero Beach, Florida. She spoke of justice, freedom and inclusion. She spoke of her radical welcome into a small congregation in upstate Maine. She inspired me for the journey.

I thought you'd like to read her story of what it is to be introduced to a welcoming congregation. You can read the whole sermon at www.uua.org. Here's an excerpt.

A friend invited me to his church. He said it was different. I rudely refused. I cursed his church. "All blank-ing churches are the same," I informed him, "they say they're open - but they don't want queer folk. To Heck with church!" My friend, persisted. He knew his church was different. He told me his church cared about people, embraced diverse families, and worked to make a better world. He assured me I could come and not have to hide any elements of who I was. So I went. Oh, I went alright.

And I dressed sooooo, carefully for my first Sunday visit. I spiked my short hair straight up into the air. I dug out my heaviest, oldest work boots, the ones with the chain saw cut that exposed the steel toe. I got my torn blue jeans and my leather jacket. There would be not a shred of ambiguity this Sunday morning. They would embrace me in my full Amazon glory, or they could fry ice. I carefully arranged my outfit so it would highlight the rock hard chip I carried on my shoulder, I bundled up every shred of pain and hurt and betrayal I had harbored from every other religious experience in my life, and I lumbered into that tiny meetinghouse on the coast of Maine.

Blue jeans and boots. Leather jacket, spiked hair and belligerent attitude. I accepted my friend's invitation and I went to his church. I expected the gray-haired ladies in the foyer to step back in fear. That would have been familiar. Instead, they stepped forward, offered me a bulletin, a newsletter and invited me to stay for coffee. It was so... odd! They never even flinched!

How would your church have done? How is it that every church would not have welcomed her? May we all work for justice and freedom.

Live Report from the UU General Assembly

I'm writing this on my second day at the General Assembly of the Unitarian Universalist Association. Last night, along with more than 30 other ministers, I was welcomed into final fellowship at the Service of the Living Tradition.

It was a deeply moving experience. I began my journey to ministry almost 18 years ago when I first experienced my call. I resisted that call for nine years, but it's been almost 10 years since I began seminary very part time. So, last night was a powerful confirmation and affirmation of a decade of study, internships, hospital service, and the practice of ministry.

I was SO happy to be there, happy to be a Unitarian Universalist minister, happy to be with so many dedicated colleagues, happy to be part of an association where the largest banner declares "civil marriage is a civil right" -- and happy to be doing the work I love and feel so called to do in the world.

I wanted to share the moment.

Episcopalians, Presbyterians, and Sexual Justice

The General Assemblies of these two denominations are wrapping up -- I was tempted to call this blog "women 2, sexual minories 0."

The "stain glass ceiling" may have been broken, but both denominations voted against full inclusion for gays and lesbians. The Episcopal Church adopted Resolution B033 that calls on bishops and Standing Committees to "exercise restraint by not consenting to the consecration of any candidate to the episcopate whose manner of life presents a challenge to the wider church and will lead to further strains on communion." The Presbyterians affirmed their fidelity in marriage, chastity in marriage ordination standards and accepted the "Peace, Unity and Purity" report. In case it's not clear in the doublespeak of this language, basically the EC is saying no to openly gay and lesbian bishops (manner of life is code for homosexuality, not such things as dishonesty, immorality, alcoholism, and so on) and the PCUSA is saying no to ordaining any gay clergy (since they don't allow marriage for gay persons, no gay person who has sex need apply.)

I'm sure this is heartbreaking for people who support sexual justice in these denominations. I can not begin to imagine how it must feel to those called to ministry in these denominations who are being told by their own community that they aren't wanted. It's hard for me as a UU to understand why they stay.

I leave tomorrow for the UU General Assembly in St. Louis. I'm proud that in my denomination sexual justice is a fact not a distant goal.

Have a good weekend, I'll be back on Monday.

A Time to Celebrate!

Change happens slowly in denominations. It took more than thirty years since the first women were ordained, but the Presbyterians and the Episcopalians have finally taken the steps to break the glass ceiling of their respective denominations. You no doubt know that Katherine Jefferts Shori -- that's her on the left -- was elected (on the fifth ballot, but nevertheless still elected) to be the presiding Bishop of The Episcopal Church of the USA. The Presbyterians elected Rev. Joan Grey to be their new moderator, the highest spokesperson and titular leader in the denomination.

One has to wonder if it will be take thirty years before GLBT clergy will be eligible to be the leaders of mainstream denominations.

I’m reminded about what an Episcopal priest said to me back in 2000. I was complaining about how long it was taking me to finish seminary and my ordination requirements. I had shared that I had first felt called to the ministry in 1989, and here it was 2000, and I still had at least three more years to go. She smiled thoughtfully, and then told me that in God’s time, eleven years was nothing at all.

Perhaps what is important then is not to worry today about how long it took – but to celebrate that the time for full inclusion of women at all levels of the Presbyterian and Episcopal denominations in the United States has come.

BREAKING NEWS: I just read that the Episcopal Church voted to reject a demand from the worldwide Anglican Church that they stop appointing gay bishops. (More on this as I learn more!) If someone reading this was there, please post a comment and tell us what it was like when the vote was passed!

Dr. Felicia Stewart

I am off to Washington, D.C. on Monday morning to participate in a memorial service for Dr. Felicia Stewart. Dr. Stewart was a program director at the Kaiser Family Foundation, a former Deputy Assistant Secretary for Population Affairs during the Clinton administration, and one of the authors of one of the "Bibles" in the sexual and reproductive health fields, "Contraceptive Technology."

I knew her for a long time. She was fearless in her dedication to women's reproductive health, and she was dedicated to supporting and mentoring younger people in this field. She was elegant, outspoken, and brilliant. I wanted to be like her when I grew up.

She died at the age of 63 a few weeks ago. She died much too soon. One of my favorite memories of her was listening to her give a speech about menopause at a conference, as she laughingly shared with the audience that she was having her own hot flash. She was candid, comfortable, and owned her sexuality.

In preparing my comments for the service, I found out that she had been excommunicated from her cradle religion, the Mormon Church. Knowing how on some deep level the religion of our childhood and faith stay with us, I can only imagine how painful that must have been. And how absurd to think that this church did not want her, for surely she was graced by God in her talents but also in her work in the world. Felicia blessed the world, and those of us who were lucky enough to know her.

To paraphrase a passage from Phillippians –
She was true,
She was honorable.
She was just.
She was lovely…
She was of good report.

If there be any virtue,
And if there be any praise,
Think on her.

Rest in peace, Felicia.

WWJD?

According to the Episcopal News Service, on Wednesday night, more than 1500 people came to the forum on something called the "Windsor Report" to debate whether the church should offer "an apology and repentance for having"ordained Bishop Gene Robinson at their last meeting. That's the language they use -- to apology and repent for having elected an openly gay Bishop. This is not a judgment on Bishop Robinson's service to the church just that his life partner is a man. The report calls for a moratorium on ordaining gay and lesbian priests, electing gay and lesbian Bishops, and creating rites for same sex unions.

I can't stop thinking what it must have been like to have a gay, lesbian, or bisexual person sitting in that room listening to the speeches. My heart breaks thinking about the pain that they must have felt. No matter how gentile the speaker, the words must have been soul numbing. The message: NOT WANTED. Not wanted on the basis of who you are and who you love. NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR US.

I don't get it. Oh, I get that people of faith have different moral values about homosexuality, and that this is an issue of great concern in some Christian denominations. But what I don't get on a more fundamental level is that a denomination based on Jesus' radical call for love and inclusiveness is fighting about who to exclude from the call to serve, on the basis of sexual identity.

WWJD? It seems very clear to me.

Let us hold the delegates to both the Presbyterian and Episcopalian meetings in our hearts and prayers this weekend.

Prayers for the Presbyterian Church

The Presbyterian Church (USA) General Assembly begins Thursday in Birmingham, Alabama, one of the birthplaces of the civil rights movement in the United States. Over the next week, the delegates will have the opportunity to either expand or contract sexual rights in their denomination.

Delegates will be discussing "The Theological Task Force on Peace, Unity, and Purity of the Church." Yes, that says purity. The report recommends no change in the requirement (G-6.0106b) that only married, faithful heterosexuals or chaste singles can be ordained. They will also be debating three resolutions to overturn the PCUSA' support of women's rights to choose safe and legal abortion.

The Covenant Network of Presbyterians speak for many faithful Presbyterians in their belief that "God is calling faithful gay and lesbian Presbyterians to full inclusion in the life and leadership of the church, and the deletion of G-6.0106b." PARO, the pro-choice Presbyterian group, is working to assure the defeat of the anti-choice overtures.

We stand with those who are working for sexual justice within the PCUSA and pray for open hearts as these resolutions are debated. We hope in the words of the Covenant Network, that they will "join in an spirit of expectation, prayer, and receptiveness to what God will do through this 217th General Assembly...this is a time for hope in the church!"

PS Our June newsletter was published this morning. We are pleased to offer blog readers complimentary online subscriptions. Subscribe at the newsletter link on our website.

Report from Canada

I was the closing plenary speaker yesterday at the 28th Guelph Sexuality Conference at the University of Guelph, Canada.

I had a number of concerns before going to the conference. Crossing the border into Canada is now much more of a hassle than it used to be, and doing it for a 36 hour trip gave me pause. I had read that Canadians were much less religious than people in the United States (only one in five go to church regularly as compared to one in two in the U.S.), and I was concerned that my message might not be relevant to the audience. And, I greatly prefer being the opening or luncheon speaker at conferences; people are generally very tired at the end of a conference and often more focused on leaving than on paying attention at the final plenary.

But, I enjoyed it immensely. Like audiences in the U.S., almost everyone in the room had grown up in a faith tradition. Only three people could remember receving positive messages about sexuality in their early religious home; most said they remembered the silence. The audience felt most receptive when I talked about the need for healing the brokenness that so many carry about their sexuality; although Canada is much more sane about sexual justice (I was told before the conference that abortion, sexuality education and same sex marriage are non-issues in public life in Canada), personal struggles with sexuality issues transcend geographic boundaries.

As often happens, I was most moved by my conversations after my talks. One woman told me that she wouldn't have left the church if she had had a minister like me. I assured her that there are many religious leaders who support sexual justice.

One woman waited until the end and came up to me with tears in her eyes. She told me that she missed her church, missed practicing her religion, and that I had given her hope that she might find a religious community to support her. The word religion comes from the word "religare" -- to bind fast, to connect. In those moments, we did.

Prayers for the Episcopal Church

When you go to the home page of the Episcopal Church, you would hardly know that they were about to hold their General Convention and you would certainly not know that it may be roiled with controversy about sexual orientation.

At the last General Convention three years ago, the House of Bishops voted to elect the Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson, an openly gay man, as Bishop of New Hampshire. At this convention, there will be a series of votes on issues related to sexuality, but perhaps the most important vote will be the vote for the new presiding Bishop of the EC in the United States.

The current Bishop, the Rt. Rev. Frank T. Griswold, has been a strong supporter of sexual justice. In fact, the Religious Institute is proud that he was one of the earliest supporters of our "Religious Declaration on Sexual Morality, Justice, and Healing." There is a wonderful article in Sunday's New York Times on Bishop Griswold, which quotes him in part as saying:

"God's truth is always unfolding. If we can accept that there are new truths that science brings us, or new discoveries in medicine, why is it when it comes to sexuality, there is no new truth...a number of those most upset...have enjoyed the mercy of the church in the case of their own divorce and remarriage, which is something Jesus commented on."

Seven candidates are running to succeed Bishop Griswold -- four voted for Bishop Robinson, three did not. Let us pray for our colleagues and friends at the General Convention that God's grace prevails and that there will be an affirmation not a reversal of full inclusion for all.

P.S. I'm delighted to tell you that Mother Jones has reprinted my editorial on why progressive religious leaders must speak out on sexual justice. I'm off to speak in Guelph, Canada on Monday and Tuesday, and will be back with a new post on Wednesday.

Week in Review: Sexual Justice Wins 3 - 2

Unitarian minister Theodore Parker wrote that "the arc of the Universe bends towards justice."

It certainly seems so this week. In addition to the US Senate turning down the Federal Marriage Amendment despite pressure from the Republican leadership and the White House this week, we can celebrate that:

*A new law went into effect in Washington State that bans discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. Opponents failed to get enough signatures on a petition to stop the law from going into effect. See www.thetaskforce.org for a good story on this.

*Clergy for Fairness delivered a letter with more than 2000 clergy signatures to the US Senate before the vote on the FMA, and their press conference received extensive coverage.

*The FDA resisted pressure from the religious right and approved a new vaccine Gardasil against cervical cancer. Cervical cancer is the second most common form of cancer for women worldwide. This new vaccine offers the potential, if cost and delivery can be addressed, to make cervical cancer as obsolete as polio.

That's the good news from this week. Conversely, Louisiana passed a ban against most abortions should Roe v. Wade be overturned and Alabama's voters voted to prohibit same sex marriage. My heart goes out to women and GLBT folks who live in these states.

But to end on one last piece of good news -- I'm also pleased to tell you that the Center for American Progress published a new editorial by me today on why progressive religious leaders must address sexual justice issues. Check it out. I'm very honored to have my work featured on their home page.

Have a great weekend.

Rev. Debra

Allan Rosenfield

Last night, I attended the retirement celebration dinner for Dr. Allan Rosenfield. Many of my readers have probably never heard of Dr. Rosenfield. If we celebrated the right things in America, you would have.

Alan is the Dean of the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University. During his twenty years of leadership of the school, its budget grew from $12 million to $161 million. He has been a leader in the sexual and reproductive rights field (Allan is credited with helping created the contraceptive revolution in Thailand and introduced the idea of over-the-counter distribution of oral contraceptives), HIV/AIDS, and Maternal and Child Health field. He has worked tirelessly around the world for the rights of women.

Over 800 people attended last night's dinner. There were tributes by Hillary Clinton, Richard Gere, and UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan. There were presidents and executive directors of hospitals, foundations, leading non-governmental organizations, and even a Princess there to honor him. It was a reunion of sorts for many of us in the sexual and reproductive health field.

However, I don't think people came to honor Allan's myriad accomplishments. Rather, they came to honor his life. Every person I spoke with had a story about how Allan had been there for them, how he had taken the time to talk with them at a difficult point in their life, how he had mentored them, taught them, inspired them. I think every one of the 800 people had a story about how Allan had made a difference in their professional and personal life. As much as anything, we wanted to be there to celebrate his humanity. I was moved to tears many times during the evening.

Allan is retiring only because a medical condition is forcing him to leave the work and the people he loves. Allan, I salute you for all you have done, but more because you model how we all should live. These words from Unitarian minister William Ellery Channing ran through my mind last night. I think they describe you perfectly. I hope they will comfort you. Thank you for being our symphony.

“To seek elegance rather than luxury and refinement rather than fashion;

To be worthy, not respectable…and wealthy, not rich.

To study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly.

To listen to stars and birds; to babes and sages, with open heart.

To bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasions, hurry never.

To let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common.

This is to be my symphony.”

Federal Marriage Amendment Fails!

This just in -- the Federal Marriage Amendment failed just minutes ago, with a 49 - 48 vote. That's 11 votes short of passage.

Thank you to everyone who wrote and called about this Amendment. A CNN poll released this morning shows Americans evenly divided on this issue.

Clearly the issue of marriage equality isn't going to go away. We need to continue to educate people that where there is love, the sacred is always in our midst, and that all people should have the right to the benefits of civil marriage. We need to say often that sexual difference is part of our blessed endowment, and that marriage equality is the only moral response.

But, for today, let's just take a moment to celebrate that despite everything, we won this one!

How Not To Win Supporters

I heard yesterday from two of the Religious Institute supporters about an Internet campaign to have people call Senators who support the Federal Marriage Amendment and ask the poor receptionist about the Senators' sex lives. The point, I suppose, is that unless the Senator has only procreative, vanilla sex himself, he (and I think these are all he's) has no right to say anything about someone else's sex life.

I understand the temptation -- and the anger -- behind these calls. Surely, as Prime Minister Trudeau said in 1969 when Canada decriminalized homosexuality, the state has no place in anyone's bedroom.

But, I vehemently oppose these tactics and believe that they are sure to backfire. They feed into people's homophobia ("see, we told you these weren't nice people") and fears. How much better it would be to call and leave a message that says, "I'm a person of faith and want the Senator to vote NO on the FMA. I believe that where there is love the sacred is always present, and that efforts to build discrimination into the Constitution are immoral."

That's all the receptionists needs to hear. They mark down on a tally sheet that one more constitutent stands on the side of love. And maybe they thank you for your call.

Which if you haven't made yet, the Senate still hasn't voted. See Sunday night's blog for the phone number.

New Poll Demonstrates Americans Value Religious Freedom

If you haven't written your Senators about the Federal Marriage Amendment, please see yesterday's blog for how to do so quickly and easily.

But frankly, I found today' s reports from the White House and the Senate too depressing to write about again. Especially because I want to tell you about a new report from the Center for American Progress that should make us hopeful for America.

The Religion project at CAP released survey results from a poll that they conducted in February on American's moral values and feelings about religion in public life. They found that almost three quarters of Americans worry about how materialistic we are becoming and almost nine in ten think we should be doing more to help the poor and disadvantaged. Two thirds of respondents believe that family, individual freedom, equality, and religious freedom are essential characteristics of American life. Almost six in ten believe it is important for America to value both faith and science.

The major moral crisis in America according to those polled -- 28% said children not being raised with the right values. 22% said corruption in government and business. Only 3 in 100 said abortion and homosexuality.

You can read the full poll results and even download a powerpoint presentation at the Center for American Progress website. There are a lot of sermons in this data.

On these days when the Senate is considering putting discrimination into the Constitution, let's hope that they are listening to what Americans are trying to tell them. (And I'm hoping that you've let them hear from you -- again read yesterday's blog on how to send your Senator an email or leave a message with their office.)

FIVE MINUTES TODAY TO OPPOSE THE FEDERAL MARRIAGE AMENDMENT

On Saturday, President Bush devoted his weekly radio address to opposing marriage equality for same sex couples. It's hard for this minister to understand how in a week that included the news of American soldiers murdering Iraqi civilians he chose this moment to express his moral outrage against people in love wanting to enter civil marriage commitments.

A study to be released on Monday by the Center for American Progress finds that only 3% of us think that abortion and homosexuality are the major moral issues facing America. Given poverty, homelessness, the war, racism, the degradation of the environment, lack of access to health care, inadequate education and so on, I find that reassuring.

Nevertheless, with Bill Frist and George Bush's support, the US Senate will spend time this week voting on an ill-conceived effort to amend the US Constitution. You may have read in the paper this weekend that the FMA has no hope of passing. I'd like to think that a majority of the Senate will just say no to this attempt to write discrimination into the Constitution, but let's not count on that happening without our involvement.

So, here's what you need to do. If you haven't written your Senators yet to ask them to vote NO on Sen Res J 1, please go to our ACTION CENTER and send them an email NOW. It will take you less than two minutes to let your voice be heard.

Monday has been designated as a CALL IN DAY on the Federal Marriage Amendment. All you need to do is call the Senate switchboard at 202-224-3121, tell them your state, and they will connect you to your Senators' offices. Simply tell the person who answers the phone that you are a person of faith and that you oppose the FMA.

Your spending five minutes today can make a difference in people's lives. What's a greater moral value than that?

OPPOSE THE FEDERAL MARRIAGE AMENDMENT HERE

This past Sunday, I performed a wedding ceremony for a lovely 30-something couple at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden. As we signed the marriage license and I pronounced them "husband and wife, wife and husband", I couldn't help but think how morally wrong it was that the same legal protections are not available to same sex couples. On Wednesday, a court in New York began considering a case to change the marriage laws.

But if the Republican leadership has its way, no state will be able to recognize marriages between same sex people. Next week, Senator Frist will bring SJ Res 1 to the floor for the vote. I've read that President Bush has agreed to do a press conference in the Rose Garden next week about his support of the Federal Marriage Amendment. If passed, it will write discrimination into the U.S. Constitution.

That's morally wrong. And there's still time for us to stop it. If you have not yet written your Senators to urge them to VOTE NO, I'm going to make it easy for you. The Action Center is all set up to help you send an email to your Senator. Click here, put in your zip code, and send a message to your Senators today.

Over the years, I have met with the staff of many Senators offices. What I've learned is that hearing from constituents matters. Know that those who are opposed to marriage equality are writing. Let them hear from YOU today. It only takes two minutes...I promise. Please CLICK HERE.

Stand up for love. Stand against discrimination. Let's make sure the Senate knows that people of faith support marriage equality.

25 Years of AIDS and Still A Lack of Commitment to Prevention

This week is the 25th anniversary of the first diagnosed cases of AIDS. Since the beginning of the pandemic, more than 70 million people have contracted HIV and more than 30 million have died. The numbers of people with HIV have doubled since 1995.

30 million dead.

The numbers are staggering. They are not just statistics. For me, they are Danny, Michael, Damien, Stuart, Lacey, Marjorie. You have your own list.

Last night PBS' Frontline aired part one of "The Age of AIDS." It was a carefully constructed history of the beginning of the epidemic. The heroes came back to me: Don Francis, Dr. Koop, Jonathan Mann. So did those who did nothing, political and religious leaders who didn't care enough because the disease was primarily affecting gay men at first.

I watched with my children and was flooded with memories. I remembered debating Phyllis Schafley on a PBS program in the 1980's, shortly after Dr. Koop's report came out. I told her, "It is immoral to say to the young people of America 'just say no or die.'" It still is. I remembered taking Dr. Koop to Hollywood to meet with stars about how they could become involved in responding to AIDS. I remembered my first speech on AIDS at a CDC meeting in 1986, shortly after HIV had been identified. I said then "Every new case of AIDS from hereon will be a failure of political will to honestly address sexuality and drug use." It still is.

And I remembered the funerals. I went to a lot of funerals of beautiful young men who died way too soon during my first years at SIECUS. And although anti-virals have changed that in the United States, millions of people are still dying around the world. And the US government spends one third of its HIV prevention monies promoting abstinence from all sexual contact. And the Vatican still prohibits condom use.

Watch Part Two on Frontline tonight with your children. Tell them there is still no vaccine for HIV. Talk to them about condoms and safe sex. Tell them what the epidemic meant to you. Tell them in a moral world, no one would get a preventable fatal disease.

Reunion Weekend

I spent part of Memorial Day Weekend at my 30th college reunion. It seems that the majority of my classmates went on to become doctors, lawyers, university professors, and journalists. There were two other ministers there, but I think it's fair to say I was the only sexologist.

People weren't surprised about that though. In many ways, my work in sexology grew out of my involvement in the women's health movement during my time on campus. Some one asked me if I was still causing trouble in the world -- well certainly some people would think so. One person asked me if I really know more about sexuality than most other people in the class know; I'm still trying to think of what the right response to that would be. (If you have a suggestion, please send it!) Several people talked to me about their own sexuality struggles, and others noted how many members of our class had died of AIDS early on in the epidemic.

It was good to see people and it was good to be seen. The 1970's were a very particular time on campus; for example, it was notable that only my reunion class and the one before it had never learned the school song. No longer the younger alums but not yet the older, this group of 50 year olds are by in large making a difference in the world. More importantly, they are warm, engaging, nice people who were making a difference in their family's lives.

Here's to the Wesleyan class of 76.

Patriot Guard Riders Love Their Neighbor

It's not often that I agree with the Republican controlled Congress. But, I want to salute their vote on Wednesday prohibiting demonstrations at military funerals.

The act specifically targets Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church which has been bringing his hate campaign against gays and lesbians to military funerals. You may remember Phelps -- he and members of his family held signs saying things like "God hates fags" at Matthew Shepard's funeral and the funerals of people who died of AIDS. He has recently turned to bringing his hateful placards to areas surrounding the funerals of those who have died serving in the War in Iraq. He has gone so far as to say that the War in Iraq is punishment for tolerance to GLBT people.

In response, a group of motorcycle riders formed to protect mourners from"interruptions caused by any protestors or group of protestors." Called the Patriot Guard Riders, these men ask the family of the fallen service member if they can be present to offer protection. At their web site they list dozens of funerals where their members have protected families from Phelps and his minions. The governor of Indiana has just honored them by asking them to accompany him on their bikes at the Indy 500 this Sunday.

It seems appropriate this Memorial Day weekend to also honor those who respond to hate with love and respect for those who have died serving our country. Surely the Patriot Guard Riders know that on those bikes they are serving God who commands us to love our neighbor.

Let's pray that with the US Congress against him, Fred Phelps will get the message and stay home. If he doesn't, it could cost him $100,000 and a year in prison.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend. Back on Tuesday.

Rev. Debra

Anniversary Reflections

Today is the third anniversary of my ordination as a Unitarian Universalist minister. It was a magical, love filled evening.

Surrounded by close to 300 friends, family, colleagues, and congregants, I was charged to:

"Speak the truth with love, to listen with sensitivity and compassion, to provide support and encouragement...to offer a prophetic voice to the world with courage and humility; to search for the sacred in all people, and to allow them to see the divine in you and in one another.

I'm trying. I love being a minister, and despite the nearly nine years it took me to answer my call, and the seven years of study and preparation to be a minister, I feel so blessed to do the work I do in the world. I am grateful to all those who support me in this journey.

The offering music at the ordination was a UU hymn called "Fire of Commitment." I love these words:

"When the fire of commitment sets our mind and soul ablaze,
When our hunger and our passion
meet to call us on our way,
When we live with deep assurance
of the flame that burns within
Then our promise finds fulfillment
And our future can begin."

I hope you feel that flame. I feel blessed that I do.

Skip the Movie -- DaVinci Code Part 3

I saw the DaVinci Code last night. After a blockbuster weekend, there were 6 other people in the movie theater with me. I think that's because the word is out -- the movie is dreadful. Too long, completely predictable, overdrawn, and poorly acted (with the exception of the villains who are terrific). The music was lovely though.

And, let me repeat, this is fiction, and much of the religious backstory is fiction as well. Some of it actually made me laugh. The portrayal of the vote at the Council of Nicea struck me as funny. It will clearly offend some Christians in its central message, although my fellow Unitarian Universalists are most likely going to wonder what the fuss is about.

But, as I wrote last week, it is a national teachable moment. For those of us who are ministers, it is an opportunity to talk about the early church, Jesus, and most especially Mary Magdalene. I highly recommend my colleague Karen L. King's book, "The Gospel of Mary of Magdala", to you if if you'd like to learn what we really know about this important woman of the gospels.

Save the money on the movie -- buy her book.

Milestone for the Religious Institute

We did it! Over the weekend, we passed 2500 endorsements for the Religious Declaration on Sexual Morality, Justice, and Healing. The Religious Declaration is a clarion call to the nation's faith communities and religious leaders to affirm sexuality as a life-giving and life-fulfilling gift and to be truth seeking, courageous, and just.

It was released in 2000 with the support of 850 religious leaders. Today's 2500 endorsements come from clergy, theologians, academics who specialize in religion, and religious educators. They represent more than 40 distinct faith traditions, including some which might surprise you like Roman Catholics, Southern Baptists, Buddhists, and Muslims. There are seminary presidents, Methodist and Episcopalian bishops, and leaders of large multifaith organizations.

They stand for full inclusion of women and sexual minorities in congregational life, life long sexuality education, and a faith-based commitment to sexual and reproductive rights, including access to voluntary contraception, abortion, and HIV/STD prevention and treatment.

As faith leaders, we advocate for sexual and spiritual wholeness in our religious communities and in society. Please encourage the religious leaders in your life to endorse this vision of sexual health and justice.

On to 3000.