An Open Letter to Religious Leaders on Gay Youth Suicides

Dear Clergy Colleagues:

It’s Tuesday morning, and you are probably not quite ready to think about next weekend’s sermon. Perhaps you’ve already announced the upcoming topic in your newsletter. I am praying that you might be willing to change it.

You may know that October 11th is National Coming Out Day, a day that encourages gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) people to publicly state who they are. In light of the at least five gay youth who killed themselves in September, it’s time for us to come together as religious leaders and say, “Enough.”

I’m hoping that next weekend from your pulpits you will come out with your support for GLBT youth and adults. Yesterday, I issued this challenge to the nation’s clergy in a column for the Washington Post. You can read it at http://ow.ly/2Oj7l

In part, it read:

All of us have teens and young adults who are gay or lesbian in our congregations, many who are suffering in silence and are at risk. A study done by my colleagues at the Christian Community, found that 14% of teens in religious communities identify as something other than heterosexual. Almost nine in ten of them have not been open about their sexuality with clergy or other adult leaders in their faith communities. Almost half have not disclosed their sexual orientation to their parents. And nonheterosexual teens who regularly attend religious services were twice as likely as heterosexual teens to have seriously considered suicide. Our young people are dying because we are not speaking out for them.

What if next weekend all of us told them from our pulpits how heartbroken we are by Tyler Clementi’s suicide and that we want to make sure that no young person in our community would ever feel such despair? Or perhaps you can begin to develop sexuality education programs in your community for youth and parents that include education about sexual orientation and gender identity. Include books in your congregation library about new theological understandings of sexual orientation and pamphlets from LGBT persons in your vestibules. Invite LGBT adults in your congregations to lead worship or education programs and tell their stories. Tell your teens and young adults that you love them, that God loves them and that you will stand with them in the face of bullying, victimization, and harassment. Invite them, beseech them to come to you or other trusted adults if they are even remotely thinking about taking their own life.

As a member of the Religious Institute network, I know that you support full inclusion of LGBT persons. I hope you’ll join with clergy across the United States in speaking out this weekend. For worship resources, see our online guide, Acting Out Loud.

You may remember that Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, “Silence in the face of evil is itself evil; God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.” It is time for all of us to act.

In Faith,

Rev. Debra W. Haffner

Tyler Clementi's Suicide Must Be A Teachable Moment on Homophobia

Dear readers: I wrote this letter this morning to the Today Show, who ignored the reason behind Tyler Clementi's suicide, concentrating only on Internet bullying. Please consider writing them as well at Today@nbcuni.com And please talk to your children! Tell them nothing is worth taking their life over, that you love them, and that sexual diversity is part of God's gift to us. PLEASE.

Dear Today,

Your piece on Tyler Clementi's suicide focused almost exclusively on the dangers of webcams and internet posting, rather than addressing what drove Tyler to take his life.

If Tyler had been kissing a girl, this tape wouldn't have been made. If made, it wouldn't have been twittered and posted.

But, he wasn't. He was kissing another boy, and even in today's world, that made him the subject of ridicule and hate. And his shame at being outed drove him to end his life.

Homophobia and hate caused his death, and you inadvertently add to the problem when you don't even mention it.

Tyler's death is one of five gay teens and young adults in the last few weeks. Can we count on you for a segment on gay teen suicide? Can we count on you to get the word out about GLSEN, or It Gets Better, or the Trevor Helpline?

Let's make sure that Tyler didn't die in vain. Help us make this a teachable moment for parents and teens. Please call on me if I can be of help as you prepare this segment on the real issue that is causing so many young people to take their lives -- and how parents can make sure that their children know that they are loved and accepted without regard to their sexual orientation or gender identity.

The Reverend Debra W. Haffner

Can We Speak Out For the World's Women?

I've been thinking a lot about how privileged I am. The recent arrest of Professor Gates must surely remind all of us who are white about our white privilege. The arrest of my friend Shadi Sadr in Iran reminded me starkly of the privilege I have to be an advocate in the U.S.

In today's New York Times, Nicholas Kristof tells the story of a woman in Pakistan who nearly lost her life in childbirth and whose newborn died for the lack of a $3 cab ride to a hospital. Kristof writes, "One of the most lethal forms of sex discrimination is this systematic inattention to reproductive health care, from family planning to childbirth -- so long as those who die are impoverished, voiceless women." How can a half a million women a year dying from pregnancy-related concerns not be a headline nearly every day?

I'm just back from seeing "Ruined," a remarkable play at the City Center in New York. It's a dramatic portrayal of the horrors facing women in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, where rape and violence are daily parts of life, and women are cast out of their families and villages when they are the victims of violence. It brings home the work we've been doing on the Congo Sabbath Initiative in a very real way.

I cried through a lot of the second half of the play. I cried when I read Shadi's story in the New York Times this morning. As a Universalist, I know that none of us are free, unless all of us are free. And, I know that each of us can play a part in bringing justice to the world, even if it's just a small step. What can you do?

Support Women and Girls in the Congo -- Announcing the Congo Sabbath Initiative

Over the past ten years hundreds of thousands of women and girls living in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) have been victims of brutal sexual violence, leaving them with severe physical ailments such as lesions, traumatic fistuale, and HIV/AIDS. Seven in ten of these women go untreated because of inadequate medical facilities.



I am pleased to let my readers know that today the Religious Institute launched the CONGO SABBATH INITIATIVE to ask congregations to become involved in supporting these women.


We are working to develop a faith-based initiative, to complete the V-Day and UNICEF, on behalf of UN Action Against Sexual Violence in Conflict, campaign titled “Stop Raping our Greatest Resource, Power to Women and Girls of the DRC.” This is a global Campaign to increase pressure at all levels to do more to stop rape in the DRC while highlighting the role of women as activists. One result of the Campaign will be the establishment of the City of Joy at the Panzi Hospital in Bukavu—a center for women for women who have survived rape and torture, where they will receive medical treatment, education, leadership training, and a chance to earn income.




To learn how your congregation can get involved, please visit our web site and click on the Congo Sabbath initiative. You could decide to do an education program, raise money for the hospital and the City of Joy, offer a prayer or responsive reading (or a full worship service on violence against women), stage the Vagina Monologues, or post information about how to become involved. There are lots of ways to help a congregation participate.


I'm delighted to report that forty-five nationally recognized religious leaders have joined the Religious Institute in calling congregations to participate in the Congo Sabbath initiative, an effort to involve religious leaders and faith communities in ending violence against women in the DRC. The list includes the leadership of seven denominations and the National Council of Churches of Christ.



They endorsed this statement:


"As faith leaders we are called today to see, hear, and respond to the suffering caused by violence against women. We encourage faith communities to participate in the Congo Sabbath initiative."


Signed:



*Dr. Ellen T. Armour, Director of the Carpenter Program in Religion, Gender, and Sexuality, Vanderbilt Divinity School
*Rev. Steven Baines, Director of Interfaith Outreach, People for the American Way
*Fr. Dr. Luis Barrios, Chair of the Latin American & Latina/o Studies, John Jay College of Criminal Justice-City University of New York (CUNY)
*Rev. Dr. Rita Nakashima Brock, Director, Faith Voices for the Common Good
*Rev. Dr. John Buehrens, Former President, Unitarian Universalist Association
*Rev. Ignacio Castuera, National Chaplain, Planned Parenthood Federation of America
*Rev. Robert Chase, Founding Director, Intersections
*Cyra Choudhury, Executive Director, Foundation for the Advancement of Women in Religion
*Rev. Steve Clapp, President, Christian Community
*Rabbi Sue Levi Elwell, Regional Director, Union for Reform Judaism Pennsylvania Council
*Rev. Dr. Yvette Flunder, Presiding Bishop, The Fellowship
*Rev. Dr. Marie Fortune, Founder and Senior Analyst, FaithTrust Institute
*Rev. Larry Greenfield, Executive Minister, American Baptist Churches of Metro Chicago
*Rev. Debra W. Haffner, Director, Religious Institute
*Ann L. Hanson, Minister for Sexuality Education and Justice, Justice and Witness Ministries of the United Church of Christ
*Rev. Cedric Harmon, Associate Field Director for Religious Outreach, Americans United for the Separation of Church and State
*Dr. Mary E. Hunt, Co-Director, Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics and Ritual (WATER)
*Rabbi Steven B. Jacobs, Founder, Progressive Faith Foundation
*Rev. Dr. Serene Jones, President, Union Theological Seminary
*Dr. Musimbi Kanyoro, Director, Population and Reproductive Health Program, The David and Lucile Packard Foundation; Former Secretary General, World Young Women’s Christian Association (YWCA)
*Rev. Michael Kinnamon, General Secretary, National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA
*Rabbi Dr. Peter S. Knobel, President, Central Conferences of American Rabbis
*Harry Knox, Director of the Religion and Faith Program, Human Rights Campaign
*Rev. Jennifer Kottler, Former Executive Director, Let Justice Roll
*Rev. Peter Laarman, Executive Director, Progressive Christians Uniting
*Rabbi Michael Lerner, Chair, Network of Spiritual Progressives
*Rev. Michael E. Livingston, Executive Director, International Council of Community Churhces; Immediate Past President, National Council of Churches
*Rev. Barry Lynn, Executive Director, Americans United for the Separation of Church and State
*Jon O’Brien, President, Catholics for Choice
*Dr. Mercy Oduyoye, Founder, Circle of Concerned African Women Theologians; Director, Institute of Women in Religion and Culture
*Rev. Troy Plummer, Executive Director, Reconciling Ministries Network
*Dr. Sylvia Rhue, Director of Religious Affairs, National Black Justice Coalition
*Rev. Karen H. Senecal, Clergy Project Manager, Planned Parenthood Federation of America
*Rev. William Sinkford, President, Unitarian Universalist Association
*Rev. Dr. William Stayton, Professor of Sexuality and Religion, Center of Excellence for Sexual Health, Morehouse School of Medicine
*Rev. Ron Stief, Director of Organizing Strategy, Faith in Public Life
*Rev. John H. Thomas, General Minister and President, United Church of Christ
*Rev. Dr. Emilie M. Townes, Associate Dean of Academic Affairs, Yale Divinity School
*Rev. Carlton Veazey, President and CEO, Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice
*Rabbi Arthur Waskow, Founder and Director, The Shalom Center
*Loribeth Weinstein, Executive Director, Jewish Women International
*Dr. Traci West, Professor of Ethics and African American Studies, Drew University Theological School
*Rev. Elder Nancy L. Wilson, Moderator, Metropolitan Community Churches
*Rev. James E. Winkler, General Secretary, United Methodist General Board of Church and Society
*Ani Zonneveld, President, Muslims for Progressive Values




*Organizations for identification only
** List in formation



I hope you'll join this important initiative. Click here for more information.



Photo courtesy of Paula Allen/vday.org