Clergy Sexual Misconduct is Preventable Not Inevitable

This Saturday's Belief Column in the NY Times began:

"Sooner or later, every traditional faith has to confront sexual impropriety by its spiritual leaders: extramarital sex, or sex with the wrong people (members of the congregation, minors) or, for supposedly celibate clergy, any sex at all."

REALLY?

It is NOT inevitable that religious leaders will sexually act out...how sad that we have come to a place where that is viewed as a statement of fact.

Yes, dear readers, I know that there are legions of stories throughout the ages where spiritual leaders have done just that. But it doesn't have to be so.

In our classes and materials, the Religious Institute has defined the characteristics of a sexually healthy religious professional. In part, a sexually healthy religious professional uses power justly and recognizes the potential for the abuse of that power, and knows how to deal with sexual feelings appropriately, recognizing boundaries for relationships with those he or she serves. The Religious Institute recommends that every seminary REQUIRE a course in sexual misconduct prevention for every student studying for the ministry, and that denominations require such a learning experience for every ministerial candidate.


Sexual misconduct by clergy is preventable not inevitable. It's past time for seminaries and denominations and lay leadership to assure it.

Sexual Justice in Faith Communities in the First Decade: A Decade of Progress

Happy New Year!

There have been lots of retrospectives about the first decade of the 21st century, from economics to arts to peace in the world. The conclusions have been decidedly mixed.

But, there is no question that the past ten years have seen remarkable progress in furthering the vision of the Religious Declaration on Sexual Morality, Justice, and Healing, the seminal statement that was first published in January 2000.

Here are some of the highlights from 2000 until now:

*While women's ordination was not new in 2000, there has been notable progress in the numbers of women in denominational leadership. Women now head the Episcopal Church, the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), the Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, and the Fellowship. Women serve as bishops in such diverse traditions as the African Methodist Episcopal Church, AME Zion, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, and the United Methodist Church.

*In 2000, only a handful of denominations had welcoming organizations promoting full inclusion of lesbian and gay persons in faith communities. Today, every mainline Protest denomination has an official or associated group working towards full inclusion, as well as several in Jewish, Muslim, Roman Catholic, and evangelical traditions. According to our colleagues at the Institute for Welcoming Resources, there are now more than 3300 welcoming congregations in the U.S., a threefold increase since 2003.

*Marriage for same sex couples was barely on the national agenda 10 years ago. Only UUA clergy were sanctioned to perform same sex unions; today at least a dozen Christian and Jewish denominations allow their clergy to perform marriage or union ceremonies, and they are legal in five states and the District of Columbia.

*It was ten years ago that the Unitarian Universalist Association and the United Church of Christ published all six of the curricula that make up "Our Whole Lives", the comprehensive sexuality education program for congregations that begins in early elementary school and continues through adulthood. At least a dozen denominations now have their own sexuality education curricula.

There is still so much to be done to realize the goal of sexual justice in faith communities and society at large. But, just for today, as we stand on the cusp of this new decade, it's time for us to celebrate all that has happened during the past decade. And to be thankful to all those who made it happen.

May this been a blessed year for us all.

How Much Is Silence Worth?

Well, in the case of the Vatican, apparently 660 million dollars.

That's how much it's going to cost the Roman Catholic Church to settle a case brought by 508 people who were sexually abused by priests over the past fifty years.

Think for a moment about how many people that might feed...or house...or provide health services for.

Think for a moment about how those 500 people and their wives, husbands, partners, and children have suffered.

Think how much the Vatican doesn't want Bishop Mahoney to have to testify in public about why these priests were simply moved to another parish rather than being removed from service completely...rather than being required to get help and to be held accountable.

The Vatican said on Monday that they are now committed to ending this problem. They also said in their release that other institutions have this problem as well. It reminds me of the child who says, "But everyone is doing it" when their parent discovers cigarette smoking. Perhaps the Vatican forgot that the book of Matthew tells us to take the log out of our own eye first.

I understand why each of these survivors would want a million dollars, why it would feel justified. But I can't help but think it means we'll never really know how this abuse of power and patriarchy was allowed to go on for decades...or if it has really ended now.

Confidentiality...means you don't tell

I read a news story over the weekend that continues to disturb me. Last Friday, the Texas Supreme Court voted 9 - 0 that a woman named Peggy Penley could not sue her minister for telling the church elders and the congregation that she had had an affair, information that she had told him in a private counseling session.

Here's a short clip from the AP story:

Kelly Shackelford, an attorney for Westbrook, called the ruling "a great victory for pastors across Texas."

"The U.S. Constitution protects the right of a church to choose its members and govern itself in any manner it chooses according to doctrine and faith, without government interference," added Hiram Sasser, who works...at the Liberty Legal Institute.

Penley's attorney, Darrell Keith, said the decision fails to protect Texas church members from malpractice by secular professional counselors who are also ministers. He said he believes the court misapplied the First Amendment in this case and mischaracterized the pastor's roles.
He said his client will have to decide whether to ask the court to reconsider its ruling. If that is unsuccessful, they could appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Despite my reservations about the current Supreme Court, I hope they do. I believe strongly in my obligation as a minister and pastoral counselor to maintain the confidentiality of my sessions with congregants and clients. I am pretty sure that it's part of the code of ethics I sign. I'm pretty sure that telling others about what I learn in counseling would be grounds for malpractice, and if it's not, it should be. I also am pretty sure that my clients assume that our sessions are confidential. And that's the way it should be.

A victory for pastors? Well, maybe for conservative churches in Texas...but for me it's one more reason that confidence in organized religion is waning. A new Gallup Poll released last week found that trust in organized religion is at a near record low, down from a peak of 68% in 1975 to 46% today. (But only 25% of Americans express confidence in the presidency and only 14% in the Congress.)

A sexually healthy faith community offers counseling from trained religious leaders; Ms. Penley, I am so sorry you didn't have that.