MAINSTREAM RELIGIOUS LEADERS SUPPORT BIRTH CONTROL

I am in disbelief that contraception has become a political football this electoral season.

99% of American women use contraception. 99%. It gives to meaning to "we are the 99%."

Yet, the U.S. Catholic Bishops have called an all out attack on birth control coverage in health care reform -- and each of the GOP contenders have joined them. Their anti-women, anti-sexuality positions are being cloaked in a "religious liberty" argument that doesn't stand up to scrutiny.

Today, I joined 22 other national mainstream religious leaders in issuing a statement on behalf of birth control coverage in health care reform. You can read it at

www.religiousinstitute.org/news

Stand with us and speak out!

What The Election May Mean For Sexual Justice--Better Than We Think?

I'm sure your email box is filled, like mine is, with requests for funds from progressive organizations, telling you how dire the next two years will be.

Yes, I personally was disappointed in the drubbing the Democrats took in the House of Representatives (as an organization, the Religious Institute does not take sides in election contests), but I also was heartened by some of what didn't happen.

Most of the Tea Party stars did not get elected. Colorado voters turned down a pernicious anti-abortion amendment to their state constitution by a 3 to 1 majority. The National Organization for Marriage failed in their efforts in all but Iowa.

Four pro-marriage equality people were elected Governors, putting New York, Rhode Island, California, and Maryland in a position to affirm marriage for same sex couples in the next few years. The fourth openly gay member of the House of Representatives was elected.

I'm not naive about the changes in the House or the leadership of anti-choice Representative John Boehner. But I am reminding myself that it was a Democratic House passed the Stupak amendment.

So, I'm feeling grateful today that the election didn't turn out much worse...and that the 2010 election is finally over. Let's hope that together we can continue to advance sexual and reproductive justice over the next two years.

Guess you can call me an optimist.

Eat. Pray. Vote.*

I just received an email from a good friend who was at the Comedy Central rally in Washington, D.C. this weekend.

He said he's never been to such a crowded event. He never got anywhere near the stage, never heard a speaker, yet he was still glad he had made the effort to be there. He said everyone around him, who also couldn't hear anything, was happy and glad to be there.

His analysis was that people wanted to show up and witness that they weren't tea party-ers, that they wanted sanity and civility returned to American life, that extremism has gone too far.

I get it. I am so tired of the attack ads that are filling Connecticut and New York television and radio stations. I'm tired of all the emails filling my inbox about what's wrong with the other guy. I'm finding all of the analysis of what's gone wrong in the past two years tiring (I loved Bill Clinton's line this weekend: it took them 8 years to get us in this hole, we need more than two years to get out of it.)

But, mostly I'm so done with having talking heads tell us today what's going to happen tomorrow -- because ultimately it's about US...all of US going out to VOTE. To educate ourselves beyond the ads, which I'm assuming aren't really telling us the truth. To regardless of where we stand politically, to make our voices heard. To prove the pundits wrong, that we are still a country that values liberty and justice for all. (And a special call out to my readers in Colorado, please please defeat this anti-choice amendment. We need to let the country know that voters support women's ability to make their own moral choices.)

Eat. Pray. Vote.*

*an anonymous sign at the Comedy Central rally.

Last Friday Before the Election

November 5th can't come fast enough.

The Religious Institute is a non-partisan, multifaith organization. I can't tell you who to vote for, but I can tell you how important it is that you do vote.

I can also remind you how our sexual rights may be deeply affected by the outcome of national, state and local elections. The next President of the United States will likely name more than one Supreme Court Justice. Resources for sexuality education, abstinence-only-until-marriage education, HIV/AIDS prevention and service programs, and family planning services will be decided by majorities in the U.S. Congress. Local school boards will determine the content of sexuality and AIDS education programs.

On November 4th, voters in California, Florida and Arizona will decide on questions of marriage equality. Arkansans will vote on whether lesbian and gay persons can adopt or provide foster care. Voters in South Dakota will decide if abortion will remain legal; in Colorado whether to extend "equality of justice rights" to "embryos at the moment of fertilization;" and in California, whether a teenager's parent must be notified about her abortion.

The stakes could not be higher.

Journalists and pollsters are already speculating about how different groups of religious people will vote. Let's make sure that as people of faith, we let them know we are voting for sexual justice.

God and the election

According to a yahoo news story, Sarah Palin has said that the election is now in God's hands.

Really?

Was the last election in God's hands? Or the one before that? How about in other countries -- does God choose the rulers there too?

In a few days, several hundred fundamentalist Christian ministers are going to pray in the San Diego arena for Prop 8 (the anti-same sex marriage bill) in California to pass on election day. You'd think they'd pray for something really important -- like the end of poverty or the war or homelessness or for jobs, equality, health. Nope, gay people who want to enter into legal committed relationships.

My own theology is that God is too big to worry about the 2008 elections, Presidential or otherwise. The only hands this election is in is OUR'S.

I'm spending the weekend making phone calls for my candidates and will spend part of election day driving people to the polls. What are your hands doing?

Who Won The Debate?

I was the only woman on the Wesleyan extemporaneous debate team in college and one of the few women on the circuit during those three years.

I learned a lot from college debate. Answer the question. Stay on topic. Don't worry about what you don't know; tell them what you do. Don't make faces at your opponent. Smile. Use small gestures. Keep your hair out of your eyes. Dress nicely. Talk to the audience. Appeal to the judges. And that my team would benefit because the expectations of me, as a woman in a male "sport," would be low.

I had to cringe as I listened to some of the debate commentary last night. There was some consensus that at least Sarah Palin hadn't done anything terrible and that Joe Biden had treated her with appropriate respect. Is it really 2008 not 1975?

I'll let you decide who won. Sexual rights surely did not. The bottom line agreement on laws protecting same-sex couples but opposition to marriage equality was not unexpected, but still made me sad. Allowing that marriage should be a decision made by the faith community was better than saying that we should "tolerate" all people, but STILL, I would have liked to have heard more affirmation for LGBT persons from both sides. Senator Biden said something about his violence against women act twice and Roe v. Wade once; Governor Palin mentioned international women's rights once. I would have really liked to have heard questions and answers on AIDS, the Supreme Court, abortion, sexuality education, pay equity, parenting support, and so on.

So who won? Let me know what you think. Surely the differences could not be more stark. Make sure you are registered to vote. Make sure you have gotten an absentee ballot and vote now if you are going to be unable to on November 4th. The post play of the debate really isn't that important -- the future of the country is.

Moving Beyond Abortion As An Electoral Issue

So in the midst of this economic meltdown, what made the front pages again this week? Abortion.

The New York Times had a front page story on Catholics and abortion. The Wall Street Journal had a story on Thursday on new abortion ad campaigns. I received two proud emails from groups, Catholics United and a new pro-choice organization, on their new abortion ads in key electoral states.

Now, I am consistently and historically pro-choice, and as my regular readers know, I am strongly committed to reproductive justice and to helping people understand that abortion is always a moral decision.

BUT, goodness, even I am weary of this being a front-and-center election issue, especially given what surely we all agree are the most pressing issues -- how do we keep the economy from imploding and how do we get out of Iraq, to say nothing about how we address the concerns of the most vulnerable among us.

The fact is that the two parties couldn't have more different positions on abortion, and we all know that. The fact is that most Americans have reached their own consensus on abortion -- they want it to be legal, and they want it to rare. And in almost every poll, between 8 and 9 in every 10 Americans believe we need sex education and family planning to reduce unintended pregnancies. As I often say from pulpits and in my writing, because life is so precious, surely we can agree to work together to ensure that it is not created unintentionally or carelessly.

Isn't it time we acknowledged that there is indeed a consensus on this and move on? And are there others of you out there who can't wait for it to be November 5th??

Redux -- YES I meant I believe in sex education starting in kindergarten

So, silly me -- I thought this flap over sex education in kindergarten would be quickly over, once the facts about the Illinois law were known and that it would be dropped.

I mean we do have this very scary economic crisis going on.

But, last night, on CNN, it was brought up again by the conservative commentator, and then I heard him say, "Barack Obama supports the SIECUS guidelines, and that means teaching about body parts in kindergarten." He went on for a bit, but I didn't hear it, because I was so stunned to hear him mention the SIECUS guidelines.

Why? Well, because those Guidelines are one of the things I am most proud of in my 30 year career...I conceived them, I put together the task force of professionals from leading education and health organizations to develop them (including the CDC, the American Medical Association, and the National Council of Churches of Christ), and along with Dr. Bill Yarber, I developed the framework and edited the 1991 first version and the 1996 update. I also oversaw their adaptation for schools in Brazil, Russia, India, the Czech Republic, and Nigeria. The guidelines form the basis for some of the best curricula, including Our Whole Lives, in the country.

In other words, it was a little like listening to hearing your child "dissed" on national television. I was first proud (wait, wait, did he just say SIECUS guidelines?) and then angry about them being distorted -- and then even angrier about them being injected into the presidential campaign, as if they were a bad idea.

So, yes, sex education in school should begin the primary grades and continue in an age appropriate manner through schooling -- actually, throughout life. I think most adults would agree that our need for information actually continues into midlife and beyond (but that's a subject for another post.)

But, really, CNN commentator and folks on the right -- don't we all have much bigger issues to worry about -- like which candidate is going to do a better job on the economy and national security?

UPDATE: Huffington Post just added my more extended blog on this. Read it at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rev-debra-haffner/yes-sex-education-in-kind_b_126899.html

What I Told the Press at the RNC

I'm back from St. Paul. -- tired but glad I had this opportunity to represent progressive people of faith.

Here's the first piece I've seen coming out of our press conference. Here's a clip with me from ABC News NOW this week.

Here's how I began and end my comments:

"As faith leaders, we offer our compassionate support to the Palin family, but we are here today to present a religious foundation for supporting programs to prevent teenage pregnancy and diseases and assure healthy futures. Governor Palin has said that her daughter made her own decision, but the party platform supports policies that deny personal decision making about sexual matters, from abstinence-only-until-marriage education to denying women abortions even in cases of rape and incest to denying same sex couples the right to marry....

It is time...it is way past time...for policy makers in both parties to cease funding abstinence-only-until marriage programs that are not only ineffective, but put our teenagers at risk -- at risk for pregnancy, at risk for disease, at risk for short changed futures, for the denial of the gift of their sexuality. It is time to provide all of our young people with comprehensive sexuality education that respects the diversity of values in a community and provides full and medically accurate information. It's the only moral response."

What a fascinating election season this will be. It is clear from the past two weeks that sexual justice issues will be centrally discussed and debated. As progressive people of faith, I urge you to become involved. Read all you can. Volunteer. Help register people to vote. Get your absentee ballots now if you will be out of town. Talk to your friends. Make sure your young adult children are registered. VOTE.

Together, let us make sure that when the pollsters and the media and the public discuss "values voters", they know that we vote our values too.

More on Sarah Palin

The Sarah Palin story is a national Rorschach test.

Let me be clear about my other posts -- I was not saying that I know ANYTHING about why Bristol Palin became pregnant. I was saying that based on Governor Palin's policies, I was pretty sure that she hadn't had discussions about pregnancy prevention in her home. I've also learned through news reports that she didn't have that type of education in her school or her church either. Yes, to some of those who have commented here and on my posts at Huffington and RH RealityCheck, teens who have comprehensive sexuality education get pregnant too. But, again, the research is pretty compelling that when parents talk to their teens about their values about sexual intercourse AND talk to them about contraception and/or condoms, they are more likely to protect themselves.

I am also not saying that Governor Palin is a bad mother for her choice to run. What's so interesting to me is that at least the conservative women I've seen interviewed aren't questioning the ability to take care of five children, two with pressing needs, and run for the second highest office in the country. Could it be that progressive mothers are because we are more likely to be working at executive level jobs and thus more likely to know, to have lived how hard it is to balance the needs of our children and our positions?

I can only speak for myself. I am, as my regular readers know, the proud mother of a now 15 year old son and 23 year old daughter. I have had a career (and indeed a vocation) through their lives. But, I took six months of maternity leave and eased back into work both times with weekly days at home. I have turned down offers to apply for jobs as presidents of much larger organizations because my children were too small for me to have a job that required 24/7. When my daughter became an adolescent, I made the decision to primarily work from home during her high school years. I have worked hard and made choices so that my children would always know and feel that they were my first priority.

I don't think progressive women reacting to Palin are re-igniting the Mommy Wars as the press has said. I don't think progressive women are saying that a working mother can't be President or Vice President. It's more that we can't imagine what it would take to do it -- especially given the Palin family's challenges at this time.

One last word from yesterday's comments -- if the Palin's want to keep Bristol's situation private, then why in heaven would they fly Levi Johnson to the convention?? Will he join them on the stage tonight? Will he be held up as the teenage boy who did right by his girlfriend? Again, I just don't think you can have it both ways.

Sarah Palin's Family Values

UPDATE: For my take on Tuesday, visit http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rev-debra-haffner/bristol-palin-mary-cheney_b_123164.html ...and if you have ABC News NOW on your cable system, I taped a piece with Annie Pleshett Murphy earlier today.

Monday's Post:


When I told my 23-year-old daughter the news about Sarah Palin's daughter, she said, "Mom, this must just be a joke. Did you check?"

The Democratic candidate has asked that his family and children be off limits. The Republican party says that this pregnancy is a PRIVATE FAMILY MATTER, although their policies surely don't support privacy for all women dealing with unintended pregnancies. Gov. Palin, according to MSNBC, has said that this was her daughter's own decision.

Really?

In 2006, Gov. Palin reportedly said that she would not support abortion even in the case of her own daughter becoming pregnant from rape. She opposes comprehensive sexuality education, and supports abstinence-only-until-marriage education. I can't know, of course, but I'm wondering how much talk there was about sexual limit-setting beyond "just say no" and contraception in the Palin household. I could be wrong, but I'm guessing that there wasn't much discussion either about all of Bristol's legal options when she told her parents about her pregnancy.

The research, as I've written about in my books for parents (see the list to the right), is quite clear. In homes where parents talk openly about sexuality with their children, including their values about premarital sex, contraception and STD prevention, their children are more likely to delay sexual activity and more likely to protect themselves if they do have sex. Perhaps Gov. Palin should reconsider her positions on teenage pregnancy prevention.

But something else has been bothering me all weekend, that seems even more troubling in light of this news. In my books, I have quoted the adage, "you are only as happy as your most unhappy child." Gov. Palin is the mother of a newborn with a disorder and of a 17-year-old who is about to have a baby while she's in high school. I have only the greatest compassion for what these past five months must have been like in her family. I've sat with enough families with children with disabilities and pregnant teens to know how heartbreaking these situations are -- and how much they demand of parents.

How is it, then, that she decided THIS was the time to run for national office? My family values -- and the decisions I've made throughout my career -- have always put challenging times in my family first. How come the "family values" folks aren't talking about that?

Post Denver Convention, Post Palin Thoughts

I was just too stunned by yesterday's announcement to blog about what was missing from the Democratic convention as I had promised.

I might be celebrating today a step forward for women if McCain had nominated Christie Todd Whitman, Kay Bailey Hutchison, Olympia Snow, Susan Collins -- in other words, a Republican woman candidate for the White House who actually supports women's rights with a proven track record at the national level. I encourage you to watch the opening segment from Friday night's Daily Show. Jon Stewart and Samantha Bee get it as only they could. Let's just begin by pointing out how disappointed I am that the candidate for Vice President is against abortion even in cases of rape and incest and supports a constitutional amendment against same sex marriage.

But, I still want to say something about what concerned me about last week in Denver, before our attention is turned towards Minnesota. Although I Senator Obama talked about "reducing unintended pregnancies" and "our gay brothers and sisters", I can't recall that any of the most major speakers committed to Roe or called for marriage equality. A few speakers may have mentioned the word gay, but at least as far as I heard, none mentioned the word "transgender" or called for ENDA. Besides Bill Clinton, if AIDS prevention in the U.S. was mentioned, I missed it. We heard a little bit about Joe Biden's bill on sexual violence against women, but otherwise issues of sexual harassment, domestic violence, and sexual abuse prevention were MIA. So was speaking out against abstinence-only education or removing abstinence requirements in Pepfar. And the faith panels included far more faith leaders who do not support sexual justice than those who do.

So, yes, this election season will be historic, but for those of us who work for sexual justice, there is much to do to have our commitments honored by both parties.

As I will end my sermon tomorrow, "let us labor together, for all that is sacred and just, as co-creators of the loving world we seek."

Have a blessed weekend.

We Are Living History

To me, this picture says it all.

Regardless of your political affiliation or who you will vote for in November, we witnessed history last night.

Forty five years ago, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King told the crowds on the mall, "I have a dream."

Last night, that dream became a reality in front of the world in moments that caused tears to roll down my face.

Perhaps I'll blog later about the week as a whole, including what I wished we had heard but didn't.

But last night I had trouble getting to sleep because of how moving it was -- and I woke up early this morning with hope in my heart.

We are living history, and today is a hope filled day.

Take a Moment To Celebrate Women's Equality Day

Today is Women's Equality Day, the anniversary of the day that women first got the vote.

Last night, watching Michelle Obama, I couldn't help but think about how far we've come from the vision of the suffragettes who won the vote. Could they have imagined her?

Ten years younger than I am, I thought, "she is the woman that the second wave of feminism created" -- a woman with a full time brilliant career serving others, a working mom devoted to her school age children, a partner in a peer marriage -- a woman who was basically unknown to me when I was growing up in the sixties, but the woman I hope today's girls will know they can become. And tonight the convention will feature the first woman candidate for President and many female Senators , Congresspersons, and Governors.

Change is happening, has happened.

The evening would have been perfect except for the benediction, offered from this UU minister's perspective, without regard for the diversity of religious belief in the convention hall or across America. Note to the others offering invocations and benedictions: your remarks not only have to be non-partisan, they need to speak to all of us. Your language of the divine and what is most sacred needs to include all of us -- even nonbelievers, no less those who don't call Jesus Lord. Let's hope the rest of the clergy involve don't make the same mistake.

How Could She Have Said That?

I just saw the video where Hilary Clinton says that she wouldn't have gone to a church where Rev. Wright was the pastor.

When I saw the headline on YahooNews, I didn't believe it until I watched it myself.

As a minister and a person of faith, I'm horrified. Surely, Senator Clinton hasn't always agreed with the ministers of the church she has attended. (Although let the frenzy begin -- surely some newsperson or Republican operative or Right Wing organization is carefully combing for extreme sermons from HER pastors.) Surely Senator Clinton knows about the free pulpit and the free pew.

Diverse religious leaders need to stand together and say that attacking anyone's faith or faith communities is wrong. Period. It's not about which candidate you support -- it's about supporting everyone's right to worship as they choose with the religious leader that they choose, even when they sometimes disagree.

Freedom of the Pulpit

It was a big week in the world not to be blogging -- the 5th anniversary of the Iraq war, Senator Obama's stunning speech on race in America, the revelations by the new Governor of New York and his wife's infidelities, and the roller coaster ride on Wall Street.

And the endless tape loop of the Reverend Jeremiah Wright on the right wing talk shows, caricaturizing a long term successful ministry into a few soundbites.

I kept thinking about our shared congregational polity with the UCC that gives ministers the right to a free pulpit -- the right to express ourselves without limitation of dogma or institutional boundaries. I learned in divinity school that we are to "comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable" when we are in the pulpit. It has never once occurred to me that I have to agree with my minister on everything he says or that anyone who comes to my services has to agree with me on anything or everything. Indeed in my tradition, we expect as many "I really disagreed with you today" as "good sermon, Reverend."

But, we also have freedom on the pew. We encourage our congregants to take what they like, to leave the rest, to only believe our truths as it reflects their own. In all the reports on Reverend Wright, I haven't seen a news report that remembers to tell us that Trinity UCC has more than 6000 members and is the largest church in the UCC.

That's because these attacks on the Reverend Wright aren't really about him or his church -- they are about trying to discredit Senator Obama. In this "GOTCHA 24/7 news cycle" Governor Paterson felt he needed to tell us about the most private of issues in a marriage before the press could do a story on it, and every association that a candidate has is available for dissection and ridicule.

If you want to know more about the Reverend Wright and the Trinity UCC, go here. And a hurrah to Senator Obama for saying what all of us in free churches know -- that our ministers have the right to speak their hearts and minds from the pulpit and the people in the pews have the right to love them even when we disagree.

VOTE

I've been spending every other day at 7 a.m. the last few weeks at the physical therapist, trying to relieve the injury's I acquired in the fall's pilates reformer classes.

One of the PT's is a Jehovah's Witness and as he places the various equipment on the my body (who thought up electric stimulation anyway??), we've had several theological discussions.

I was stunned to learn this morning that his religion dictates that he not vote in elections. I tried to keep my heart open as I listen to why (which has to do with God being the only true ruler and that we are of God's kingdom not man's), but it was hard for me to comprehend.

I LOVE voting. I love not only the idea that in a democracy we have a say in our leaders, but I love going to the local elementary school, seeing my 80 something high school chemistry teacher who works at the polls each year, entering the voting booth, pulling the levers, buying the homemade baked goods from the PTA parents, and wearing the "I voted" sticker.

And I believe it is our moral obligation to vote -- and to be grateful for the opportunity to do so. I love that more people are turning out for these primaries than ever before, and I even love that this year, for the first time I can remember, I will be happy whatever the results in my party. (And I still have 12 hours to decide exactly who I am voting for...!)

So, in this case, I find it hard to be open to my PT's point of view. To this minister, standing up for what one believes and making oneself heard in this time and place is just too important.

IF YOU ARE IN ONE OF THE 24 PRIMARY STATES PLEASE GO VOTE.