UN Efforts to Decriminalize Homosexuality A Start But Not Enough

I had the privilege of attending a meeting at the Unitarian Universalist United Nations Office on "Exporting Homophobia" around the world. Ugandan Anglican Bishop Christopher Senyonjo, who is leading the effort against the anti-gay bill in Uganda, was the featured guest. A "dream team" of religious LGBT advocates were at the meeting, including Yvette Flunder, Cindi Love, Michael Adee, Stephen Parelli, and Michael Schuenemeyer.

I learned a new UN acronym at the meeting: SOGI. That stands for "sexual orientation and gender identity." A representative of the High Commissioner for Human Rights pledged her support to work to decriminalize homosexuality around the world. Other speakers talked about educating people of faith in the global south on alternative scriptural understandings of homosexuality and one person from Kenya spoke about moving people from seeing homosexuality as the sin to understanding that it is sodomy that is sinful.

Although I was happy to be there and moved by Bishop Senyonjo's presentation, I can't help but feel that the United Nations representatives aren't thinking BIG enough, and that many of the participants don't really understand the sexology of sexual orientation and gender identity and expression. I wonder how SOGI became code for LGBTI issues, when all people have a sexual orientation and a gender identity.

But, I also feel somehow that concentrating on the goal of decriminalization isn't BIG enough. Yes, we need to work to make sure that it is not a crime to engage in same sex sexual behaviors everywhere in the world, and yes, we need to help the UN understand and advocate that the rights of LGBTQI persons are protected as human rights.

However, we need to be articulating and working toward a world where it is understood that sexual and gender diversities are part of God's blessing to us, that sexual rights are human rights, and for a relationship-based rather than an act-based sexual ethic. I want to help create a world where participants in this type of forum would affirm the rights of consenting adults to sexual pleasure, regardless of the sex or gender of the partners and which body part goes into another. I want to be at meetings where we discuss how to move people of faith to a broader affirmation of sexual rights and pleasure for all of us.

This wasn't that meeting. I'm thinking about how the Religious Institute could help facilitate that type of dialogue. Ideas welcome!

Stop Asking - Stop Answering -- Gender (M or F) on Forms

I just made a decision that I'm hoping you'll share.

I was asked to sign up for a listserv for a professional network of people working on international sexual and reproductive health. The form required me to give my gender, and the drop down box gave two options, M and F. I skipped the question, pushed submit, and got an automatic message that I had to answer that question.

I contacted the organization, who basically replied that it couldn't do anything. I told them I couldn't sign up. My gender has no relevance to my participation on this listserv, and I have no need to share it.

To stand with my friends and colleagues of transgender experience, I've decided I'm no longer going to answer gender or sex questions that don't provide another option to M & F. And when they are required, I'm going to write and tell the organization why I can't participate.

If enough of us do it, forms will change -- and people will be educated that the gender binary doesn't apply to all of us.

Will you join me?

History In The Making: President Signs Matthew Shepard Act

Matthew Shepard was brutally murdered because he was gay more than 11 years ago.

Today, President Obama will sign legislation in his name. According to the AP, the measure expands current law to include crimes based on gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability. It took 14 tries to get this fully inclusive legislation passed. 14 tries.

This is hardly brave legislation, in that on almost all polls, more than 75% of Americans support hate crimes legislation that protects LGBT people. But, it is the first piece of national civil rights legislation that includes protections on gender and gender identity, and should be celebrated. I'd like to think that other legislation (repealing DOMA, repealing DADT for starters) will follow soon.

I'm hoping that Judy Shepard will be at the White House this afternoon. I imagine that her heart will both be glad that such legislation finally exists...but that her grief for her son will also feel overwhelming. I can't help but think of Scripture -- he died, so others shall live. My prayers will be with her and all the other parents who've lost their children to hate crimes.

Caster Semenya -- A Teachable Moment on Intersexuals

I didn’t know her name until last week. My regularly readers know I don’t follow sports regularly, and I had missed the news that in August, Caster Semenya, a teenage runner from South Africa, had become the 800-meter world champion.

We know her name now, because an Australian newspaper leaked the results of complex genetic and physical tests that allege that Ms. Semenya does not have ovaries or a uterus, but internal testes androgen insensitivity syndrome. The International Association of Athletic Federations (IAAF) says it is considering the results and will decide if she can compete as a woman in the future.

I don’t know enough about sports to have a reasoned opinion about how intersex people might participate in a world of “women sports” and “men sports.” I do know, though, that all people should be treated with dignity and respect, and I find most of the media treatment woefully ignorant about people who have what the American Pediatrics Association has named “disorders of sexual development.” I've cringed every time I've read the now-discredited term “hermaphrodite” to describe her.

This could be a teachable moment in our congregations and in our homes. As many as one in 1,500 babies is born with external genitals not easily identifiable as male or female, and many more people find out at puberty or later that they do not have organs, chromosomes or hormones that neatly fit into male or female definitions of biological sex. As the Religious Institute’s Open Letter on Sexual and Gender Diversity says, “binary thinking fails to reflect the full diversity of human experience and the richness of creation.”

Does your congregation have the resources it needs to welcome and support an intersex child or adult? If you are a religious leader, are you prepared to support families and individuals with these conditions? Do you know what resources are available? The Religious Institute’s new online guide, Acting Out Loud, can help you educate yourself and your communities about the diversities of human sexualities, including diversity of biological sex.

There is nothing new about biological sexual difference, nor about our call to understand sexual and gender diversity as a blessed part of our lives. In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus embraces the eunuchs “who have been so since birth” (Matthew 19:12). The prophet Isaiah promises they will be blessed with “an everlasting name” (Isaiah 56:4-5).

May Ms. Semenya – and the millions of intersex people around the world -- receive that same embrace and blessing.

Understanding Gender/Biological Sex and Marriage Equality!

I often use Jenny Finney Boylan’s first memoir “She’s Not There” in my seminary classes to help students understand one transwoman’s experience. In today’s New York Times, she has an op ed piece titled, “Is My Marriage Gay”? A professor at Colby College in Maine, she shares that she was a man when she married her wife in 1988; following her transition, they found themselves as two women legally married to each other; in her words, “differently married.”


She writes, that until last week when Maine legalized marriage for same sex couples, had they divorced, “I would have been allowed on the following day to marry a man only. There are states, however, that do not recognize sex changes. If I were to attempt to remarry in Ohio, for instance, I would be allowed to wed a woman only.” (Read that again – because she was born male, in Ohio, she could only marry a woman even though Boylan is legally a woman and even though Ohio doesn’t recognize same sex marriage.)


But to new to me was how many different ways states recognize gender and sex. In San Antonio, Texas, only people with different chromosomes can marry (which means that if one member of a lesbian couple had a genetic make-up with a Y chromosome such as XXY, they could marry but two women who are XX’s couldn’t. Boylan writes, “This made Texas, paradoxically, one of the first states in which gay marriage was legal.”


She presents the case the lawyer made, “noting the absurdity of the country’s gender laws as they pertain to marriage.” The unnamed lawyer said, “taking this situation to its logical conclusion, Mrs. Littleton, while in San Antonio, Texas is male and has a void marriage; as she travels to Houston, Texas and enters federal property, she is a female and a widow; …in Kentucky, she is female and a widow; but upon entering Ohio, she is once again male and prohibited from marriage; entering Connecticut, she is again female and may marry; if her travel takes her north to Vermont [before Vermont changed its law this year] she is male and may marry a female; if instead she travels south to New Jersey, she may marry a man.”


Whew. Did you get that?? Our male/female fixed binary, our heterosexual/homosexual fixed binary ignores the incredibly sexual and gender diversity that exists. But more, laws that try to neatly categorize people and how adults can love each other do real harm. As Boylan concludes, “what matters is that my spouse and I love each other, and that our legal union has been a good thing – for us, for our children, and for our community.”


She’s right. It’s hard for me to understand how a person of faith would think otherwise. How often we have heard, “where there is love, the sacred is in our midst.” And so may it be.

Straight Minister Releases New Report on Seminaries

You didn't see that headline, did you, when we released our new report last week?

Then, why was it that every print article I read today on Bishop Robinson speaking at Sunday's events was headlined, "Gay Bishop to speak"...Not simply Bishop, or even Episcopal Bishop, but Gay Bishop?

Why weren't Rev. Watkins or Rev. Warren labeled by their sexual orientation? Are we to infer that they are both heterosexual because the label wasn't used?

Thank goodness we are passed the time when the President-elect isn't being labeled as "Black President-elect" or "Multi-racial President elect", at least in the stories I'm reading in the mainstream press.

We all have a race...we all have a cultural identity...we all have a sexual orientation and a gender identity. And unless we are going to comment on it for everyone, it is time to stop the heterosexist assumption that unless we use a different label, you are presumed straight.

There is no gay marriage...there is only marriage.

There is no gay adoption...there is only adoption.

And there is only one kind of people -- God's people.

A Town That Full Integrates Transgender

These pictures in Sunday's New York Times made me teary -- especially the comments from parents of these transwomen in Southern Mexico.

The pictures offer hope for a world withouth transphobia.

If you work with young people -- or if you are in a faith community learning about gender and sexual diversity, this is sure to be a new resource.

And even if you don't, you'll find your assumptions challenged -- and I hope your heart opening.

Let me know what you think.

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/12/07/weekinreview/1207-MUXE_index.html

Prayers for Virginia Mollenkott, Eve Ensler, and the Women in the Congo

One of the greatest blessings of my move to ministry are the people I get to know and with whom I share my ministry. There are the people I work with every day -- Kate Ott, Tim Palmer, Katey Zeh, and Rev. Steve Clapp who enrich my life and work beyond words.

And then there the people I get to meet and know in the course of my ministry.

On Friday night, I attended a celebration of the life and work of Dr. Virginia Ramey Mollenkott, the author of such groundbreaking books as "Is the Homosexual My Neighbor?" and more recently "Omnigender". Virginia has spoken out for the LGBT community and God's love of diversity for decades. Virginia self identifies as a transgender, lesbian, evangelical Christian (and some of you thought sexologist minister was an oxymoron!) In addition to her amazing decades of scholarship and activism, she has a huge generous heart. I wrote her how inspired I was by her work -- she wrote me back her admiration for our's, and told me to just keep doing it, one project at a time, just like she has.

And then Sunday morning, I received an email from Eve Ensler, who is currently on her third trip to the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Along with the UN and UNICEF, she has created a project to stop the rape of women and girls in the Congo and to support a hospital and city to repair the tens of thousand of women who have been victims of unrelenting brutal violence. This past week, the Panzi Hospital, where women are repaired daily, was attacked by bandits. You can read more in Eve's own words at http://v10.vday.org/news-alerts/ensler-update-from-goma

The Religious Institute is launching a project in the coming weeks to engage faith communities in this Congo initiative. I'll be posting more here, but we will be asking congregations of all types to hold Congo Sabbaths during the coming year, to educate themselves and to help raise money to help women rebuild their lives after rape and torture. As people of faith, we must stand up against this violence against women's very beings.

Virginia and Eve, you inspire me by your courage, your commitment, your outrageousness, your fearlessness. I hope they'll inspire you too.

Yes, Balance is Possible

The Sunday New York Times business section had a piece this week that started, "Is it possible to live a balanced life, devoting enough time to both family and career?" They quote this article in a March Women's Day magazine, answering the question, "Not a chance."

It seems like every so often the national press puts out this type of story that essentially says that feminism sold women a myth that they could have it all. Perhaps I am over-sensitive to these warnings to the next generation of women as the mother of a 22-year-old who is just starting out on her own. Or perhaps it is because I feel blessed by both my now three decades long career and my two wonderful children. And although of course there are days when I feel off balance or torn between competing priorities, overall, my life is not only balanced but happy and deeply satisfying.

And when I think about the women I know and love most of us feel that way as well. Yes, of course, we make choices. I've never run a really large organization, I haven't run for public office. Don't get my children started on my lack of cooking skills and I don't know where our iron or vacuum cleaner even are. But, my husband and I just celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary, and we sit down almost every night for family dinner, say grace, and share our very varied days.

I can give a reporter dozens of names of women who lead balanced lives. Anybody want to write an article on us?

ENDA Passes House -- And We Should Celebrate, TODAY

I spent 13 years in Washington, D.C., working on public policy issues for much of it, and I understand how as an advocate, it's hard not to get everything you want, everything that is right.

Gracie Allen's line, "do not put a period where God has placed a comma" is running through my mind.

Late yesterday afternoon, the House of Representatives passed a historic Employment Non-Discrimination Act, prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, and those of us who believe that sexual diversity is part of God's blessing, should be celebrating. First introduced in 1974, the bill took 33 years to pass. It makes it illegal “to fail or refuse to hire or to discharge any individual, or otherwise discriminate against any individual with respect to the compensation, terms, conditions or privileges of employment of the individual, because of such individual’s actual or perceived sexual orientation.”

When the bill was introduced early this year, it included provisions to make it illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender expression and gender identity. Those provisions were stripped when sponsors realized they did not have the votes to pass a trans-inclusive bill. That's where the inside the Beltway struggle began, with many organizations I support arguing that we needed to oppose a bill that left out the "T" of LGBT. I understood their point, supported an amendment to re-introduce protections for transgender persons into the bill, but I can't join them in not being joyful about what DID happen yesterday. And after we celebrate today, we need to get back to work. I join the call for the introduction of an ENDA that includes trans protection immediately, with public hearings to be held as soon as possible.

The conventional wisdom is that this version of ENDA, once approved by the Senate, will surely be vetoed by President Bush. It may very well be 2009 before there is a trans-inclusive ENDA. And although I understand that that means that in 39 states, people can still be fired for their gender expression, two years, given the movement towards full equality for LGBT persons is decades old, doesn't seem so far away.

We are moving towards justice on full inclusion...even if it's one step at a time. The period on full inclusion will come.

Return to the Dark Ages in Elementary School

Education Week this week ran an article called "Teaching Chivalry in the Classroom" by Judith Costello, who comes from an organization called Christian.com.

The article tells the story of a school program that teaches 4th grade boys to be knights and 4th grade girls to be ladies-in-waiting as part of an anti-bullying program. You have to read this excerpt for yourself:

The image of knights and ladies came to mind. Ever since a group of medieval re-enactors had visited the area, my daughter had been interested in that time period. Mrs. Cavasos decided that this theme could be integrated easily into the anti-bullying program the school was using.
The boys would be given opportunities to be physical in the context of preparing themselves to be “defenders and protectors of all that is good, true, and right.” The girls would be given opportunities to seek out beauty and learn about healing. As ladies they would be the “nurturers and caretakers of all that is good, true and right.”

We used art activities, read stories about dragons, created costumes, studied new vocabulary words, and researched the medieval time period. We learned about the use of herbs for pharmacological needs.

Using their fine motor skills, the girls worked on creating headdresses and decorating their castle. The boys used large motor skills to create huge dragon posters that they helped to string up between trees.

The culmination of our efforts was an outdoor dramatization that students and teachers in other classrooms envied. Several other teachers opened their classroom doors to see what was happening as dragons passed through the hallways and out to the trees. Teachers looked outside to hear the dialogue as young knights went into battle. They were interested to see the knights use all their energy to slay those terrible dragons with beanbags. And when the knights fell to the ground, a group of beautiful young ladies rushed to their sides with healing herbs from the pouches they had created.

It's upsetting to me that Education Week would run this story of educational sexism and gender stereotyping without comment. What about allowing children to choose which part they want? What about girls who want to slay dragons or boys who want to heal and nurture (to say nothing about developing fine motor skills in boys or large motor skills in girls)? Or, goodness, what about encouraging both boys and girls to take both parts, learning to be both "defenders" and "nurturers and caregivers" -- for surely we all need to be both in adulthood? And I can't even begin to imagine how a gender variant child might have felt in this classroom.

As a mother of a son and a daughter, if this had happened when they were in elementary school, I would have spoken out against such rigid gender reinforcing in the classroom. Was there no outcry?

The purpose of the program was said to be to teach children to treat each other with respect. Surely this message could be given without resorting to the dark ages.

New "Open Letter on Sexual and Gender Diversity"

This morning, the Religious Institute on Sexual Morality, Justice, and Healing issued an Open Letter to Religious Leaders on Sexual and Gender Diversity that challenges religious leaders to address the complex realities of sexual and gender diversity and to advocate in secular and faith-based contexts for justice and the full inclusion of LGBT persons.

Created by a coalition of theologians from Jewish, Christian, and Catholic backgrounds, this historical multi-faith theological framework, the first of its kind to address gender issues, laments the damage done to gay, lesbian, and transgender people by the silence or, worse, open condemnation of religious leaders. The Open Letter says, “Some have mistakenly called homosexuality sinful when the real issue is heterosexism or the unjust privileging of heterosexuality. Heterosexism devalues gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, just as sexism and male privilege devalue women.” The Open Letter forcefully states that “sexual and gender oppression can no longer be portrayed as virtuous and morally defensible” and that “using the Bible to exclude or attack people violates the very spirit of our traditions and is morally unconscionable.”

The Open Letter urges religious leaders to take action to address the needs of LGBT congregants and their families. Clergy across the country are committed to using the new Open Letter in their Pride Day worship services this June. In the next few days, we plan to distribute more than 20,000 copies of the Open Letter.

Take the time to read the new Open Letter to Religious Leaders on Sexual and Gender Diversity and tell me what you think. Check out our new web site as well.

It's Back...

I still remember the day in 1972 when the Equal Rights Amendment was passed by the U.S. Congress and sent to the states for ratification. I was a senior in high school, not yet quite a feminist, but convinced that I had a place in the Constitution.

I also remember the day ten years later when it failed to get the necessary 38 states to ratify it. Now, 28 and very much a feminist, I couldn't believe that people like Phyllis Schlafley had scared enough people in enough states with the threats of unisex bathrooms and women in the military to defeat it.

Well, I read this weekend that the Equal Rights Amendment, now known as the Women's Equality Amendment, has been introduced again in the Congress. It reads, as it did in 1972 and indeed in 1923 when it was first introduced,

"Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex."

I've also read that Ms. Schlafley is once again protesting it in states. (How old could she possibly be now -- and where has she been since the 1980's?) The spectors she raises today include same sex marriage and revised Social Security Laws.

There is no question that things have changed in the past almost 35 years...and some of Schlafley's fears are now facts of life, ERA or no ERA. More women are working, more women are professionals, more women are legislators, Title IX means girls are playing sports, some places indeed have unisex bathrooms and there are women in the military.

But women still make less money then men in the same professions...there still isn't gender parity in many professions...the double standard in sexuality is still alive and well...and as I wrote about last week, women are still too often victims of sexual harassment and violence.

And, 35 years later, I'm the mother of a young woman who is about to graduate from college...and even more committed to the concept that women belong in the U.S. Constitution too. Ms. Schlafley, this time it's going to happen.

A Small Step Against Gender Violence

Ruby Ordena was found murdered last week in the San Francisco Mission District, and I want to know why more of us haven't heard that. She was a 27 year old transgender Latina and according to Gender Pac, she was at least the 50th known violent murder of a transgender person since 1995.

I understand that many people are still uneducated about transgender persons and uncomfortable when they meet someone who doesn't fit our notions of masculine and feminine. The need for education about gender identity is acute, not just for youth but for adults as well.

But, where is the national outrage that Ms. Ordenana was violently killed because of her gender expression? How is it possible that we haven't heard voices condemning such senseless violence?

In fact, according to Gender Pac, the only national voice was radio host Michael Savage who called Ms. Ordenana "a psychopath" and a "freak" on his nationally syndicated radio program.

No, Mr. Savage, she was a child of God, just like you are, who deserved to live without violence or discrimination.

So, want to take a stand today. Write Mr. Savage at info@talkradionetwork.org and tell him as a person of faith you believe that every person has dignity and worth and a right to the American promise of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. You'll feel better. I did.

The "T" in GLBT

Newsweek Online has a terrific story this week about the first ever conference of clergy of transgendered experience. You can read it at : http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16774861/site/newsweek/

At a time when many denominations are struggling to affirm the G and the L in GLBT, and a television star is entering treatment to understand his use of homophobic slurs in public, too few religious institutions are trying to understand the "T" (to say nothing of the QQI -- queer, questioning, and intersexual persons.)

I believe with my whole heart that sexual difference is a blessed part of our endowment, and those persons who do not fit into the male/female binary need to be fully welcomed into our faith communities, including in lay and clerical leadership positions. Kudos to Newsweek for covering this conference in a non-exploitative manner and to all of you who are working for true full inclusion of us all.

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The Religious Institute is working on a Study Note on the Science and Theology of Sexual Difference. I'll let you know when it's ready!