Teen Sexuality -- Just In

I've been saying and writing for a long time now that the rapid declines we saw in teenagers having sexual intercourse would level off at current levels -- and indeed a new report from the federal government says just that.

After year's of decline from 1991 to 2000, the percentage of teenagers having intercourse has leveled off at 45.6%, a rate constant from 2001 - 2005. That's right -- a little less than half of today's teenagers have intercourse, down from a little more than half 15 years ago.

Think about what's been going on since 1991. As many of us have been saying, teenagers began delaying after there was widespread education about HIV/AIDS and BEFORE the federal abstinence program went into effect in 1997. Today's release is one more piece of data that shows that these programs aren't changing most teenagers behaviors.

The new report also shows that the rapid increase in condom use in the 1990's has also stalled, no surprise given how few schools are now able to teach about condoms. It's at 63%, a dramatic increase over the past fifteen years, but no change since 2003.

We need to do better for our teenagers. We need to help them delay having any kind of sex that they aren't physically, emotionally, or spiritually ready for...we need to make sure that they have information and access to full information, good family planning services, and condoms so that they can be safe...

We need to remember that about half of teens won't have sexual intercourse in high school and they need our support and respect.

But, we need to not forget that about half will...and they need our support and respect as well.

Gone fishing...

or at least kayaking and biking...

I'm taking a much needed vacation for the next few weeks, and that will include a vacation from blogging. I hope to give myself the space to allow the world to go on without any comment from me for the next few weeks, to not try to change the world in any way but just live in the natural world.

If you're new to my blog, I hope you'll take the time to read recent entries. You can pick a topic on the right and see what my thoughts have been...and I invite you to visit the Religious Institute's newly designed web site and view our resources.

I'll look forward to sharing when I return in a few weeks. May these summer days be blessed ones of relaxing, rejuvenating, and re-creation for us all.

Love and Partnership is Sacred for Us All

This is what a "practicing homosexual" minister looks like.

Actually, as of Monday, he was no longer allowed to call himself minister. The ELCA appeals committee voted that he be removed from the "clergy roster" because he is living in relationship with another man. His church, St. Johns Lutheran Church in Atlanta, has decided to allow him to stay as their pastor, despite their decision.

Bradley Schmeling told the church that he was gay before they called him to service. That was okay by the rules of the ELCA because he wasn't involved in a same sex relationship at the time. The trouble started when he told them he had fallen in love and found a life partner.

Does any of this make sense to you? It is surely a case of following rigid rules that ignore the reality of people's lives. Schmeling is happily in love, happily received by his congregation. And the national denomination is so rule centered that they don't want him to serve anymore.

It makes me happy to be a Unitarian Universalist.

Surely the day will arrive when the mainline Protestant churches will understand that sexual diversity is a blessing and that the gift of love and partnership should be open to us all. Could that day perhaps arrive this summer at the ELCA General Assembly?

Can We Count on Congress to Just Say No?

Could the end of your tax payer dollars supporting abstinence only education be near?

The signs are promising. On June 30th, the Title V abstinence-only-until-marriage program expired, although the Senate voted to extend it for an additional three months. The House voted last week to eliminate the requirement that one third of US international HIV/AIDS dollars must be used to promote abstinence. And Laura Bush told CNN over the weekend that condoms are "absolutely essential" to HIV prevention efforts and that she supports eliminating the abstinence requirement.

But, not unexpectedly, the abstinence-only industry is warning its supporters of the end of teenage morality, sky rocketing STD and pregnancy rates, and so on if the program is allowed to expire, and mounting a summer campaign on Congress. (Just google news search "abstinence only Congress" to see for yourself.)

They stand to lose hundreds of thousands of dollars for programs that that have been found to be ineffective in reducing sexual intercourse among adolescents, discouraging STD prevention and contraceptive use when they do become sexually involved, and indeed, even increasing oral and anal sex among teens who take virginity pledges.

It's time to just say no. Just say no to programs that don't provide full information to young people. Just no to programs that teach young people that having sex before marriage causes grave psychological and physical harm (yes, that's the federal requirement) even though 95% of Americans have sex before marriage, most without such dire consequences. Just say no to programs that keep countries from providing the HIV prevention efforts their citizens need.

Tell your Congresspersons to just say no as well. (In case you don't have it handy, the Congressional switchboard is 202-224-3121.)

Confidentiality...means you don't tell

I read a news story over the weekend that continues to disturb me. Last Friday, the Texas Supreme Court voted 9 - 0 that a woman named Peggy Penley could not sue her minister for telling the church elders and the congregation that she had had an affair, information that she had told him in a private counseling session.

Here's a short clip from the AP story:

Kelly Shackelford, an attorney for Westbrook, called the ruling "a great victory for pastors across Texas."

"The U.S. Constitution protects the right of a church to choose its members and govern itself in any manner it chooses according to doctrine and faith, without government interference," added Hiram Sasser, who works...at the Liberty Legal Institute.

Penley's attorney, Darrell Keith, said the decision fails to protect Texas church members from malpractice by secular professional counselors who are also ministers. He said he believes the court misapplied the First Amendment in this case and mischaracterized the pastor's roles.
He said his client will have to decide whether to ask the court to reconsider its ruling. If that is unsuccessful, they could appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Despite my reservations about the current Supreme Court, I hope they do. I believe strongly in my obligation as a minister and pastoral counselor to maintain the confidentiality of my sessions with congregants and clients. I am pretty sure that it's part of the code of ethics I sign. I'm pretty sure that telling others about what I learn in counseling would be grounds for malpractice, and if it's not, it should be. I also am pretty sure that my clients assume that our sessions are confidential. And that's the way it should be.

A victory for pastors? Well, maybe for conservative churches in Texas...but for me it's one more reason that confidence in organized religion is waning. A new Gallup Poll released last week found that trust in organized religion is at a near record low, down from a peak of 68% in 1975 to 46% today. (But only 25% of Americans express confidence in the presidency and only 14% in the Congress.)

A sexually healthy faith community offers counseling from trained religious leaders; Ms. Penley, I am so sorry you didn't have that.

Michael Moore -- Prophet

My regular readers know that my first career training was in public health, and so I'm going to take a break from my usual entries on sexuality and religion, to tell you -- no, URGE you -- to go see SICKO, Michael Moore's new film on what's wrong with health care in the United States.

The movie is way too disturbing to say that I enjoyed it, but it is both engrossing and entertaining. Like the best kind of sermon, it made me laugh and it made me cry. I am left with haunting images of people who have died because of our insurance-driven health care system and how much better England, Canada, France, and even Cuba provide health care for their citizens.

At one point towards the end of the movie, Mr. Moore explains that we need to move from a profit driven system to one where "WE means more than ME." I thought to myself that this is what the Scriptures mean by "love your neighbor as yourself." It's what the book of Matthew means when it tells us that we will be judged in heaven by how we took care of the least among us. It indeed is speaking truth to power.

This is a movie crying out for social justice. It deserves to be seen in theaters across America. It calls us to action. Pass the word on.

Rev. Debra

What's Wrong With These Pictures?

I just read that the Supreme Court decided in yet another 5 -4 decision that school desegregation plans are unconstitutional.

That's the same 5 -4 majority that voted yesterday that schools can limit students' speech, and the same 5 -4 majority that allowed bans on a specific type of medical procedure for late term abortions.

Look at their pictures. Alito, Kennedy, Roberts, Scalia, and Thomas -- talk about activist justices! Protestations during confirmation hearings to the contrary, Justices Alito and Roberts don't seem to worry too much about precedents.

Breyer, Ginsburg, Souder, and Stevens have stood up to this majority 22 TIMES this year -- and lost.

I am frightened for America -- and frightened for other sexual justice issues that could come before this court. If you have been feeling impatient about the early start of the 2008 Presidential campaign, take another look at the ages of the people in the bottom row who are working to protect your rights. Get involved.

Connecting Sexologists and Faith Leaders

One of the "hazards" of being a plenary speaker -- and indeed the preacher on a Sunday morning -- is when the material before the speech/sermon takes much more time than had been expected. I've prepared a 20 minute sermon or a 45 minute talk, and after the 10 minute delay getting started, the conference updates on ceu's and bathroom locations, and a lovely but long introduction, I discover that if we are to end on time, I need to cut out 10 or 15 minutes of my prepared remarks.

Which is exactly what happened at the AASECT meeting this past Friday. I quickly glanced at my watch after I had been speaking for a while, and realized that it was getting close to noon and lunch, and to keep the audience with me, I need to end by twelve.

I jumped to the next to the last page to begin the ending of the talk. It was only this morning when I was filing stuff from the conference that I realized that I had left off the part of the speech talking about how sexuality educators, counselors, and therapists could involve faith communities in their work. Here's the crucial paragraph I wish I hadn't cut:

"Our guidebook "Reaching Out to Faith Communities" will give you practical suggestions for involving faith communities in our work. For those of you who are active in faith communities, I hope you will bring your sexuality expertise into that community, offering training for the religious professionals and education for children, youth and adults. To the counselors and therapists, I hope you will talk with your clients about early cradle religious messages and have a mutual referral network with supportive clergy, so that they may send you their congregants with marriage and sexuality issues and you may send them folks struggling with religious messages. I hope you will become involved with the work of the Religious Institute, signing up for our e-newsletter or giving me your card or reading my daily blog on these issues. I hope the administrators here will think about adding faith leaders to your boards of directors and advisory boards. I hope you will explore the connection between spirituality and sexuality in your own personal lives, and I even hope that some of you who have left the faith community might try again."

In other words, there are a lot of ways for faith communities and sexologists to work together. See our web site for more ideas.

Next speech, I'll remember to bracket parts of the talk that I can cut if time is running short!

There's No Place Like Home

I’m just back from five days on the road, speaking about the connection between sexuality and religion. On Friday, I had the honor of presenting one of the plenary addresses at the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists at their annual meeting in Charlotte, North Carolina. I flew from Charlotte to Portland, Oregon on Friday night, in order to co-lead a workshop on sexual justice at the General Assembly of the Unitarian Universalist Association on Saturday and to co-sponsor a reception with the UUA, RCRC, and UU Women’s Federation for UU sexual justice activists.

It was a tiring but fulfilling weekend. At AASECT, it was great to spend time with colleagues and friends, some going to back 25 years, and to share more about my ministry on sexuality and religion with more than 500 sexologists. It was clear to me that many were at best skeptical about how organized religion addresses sexuality issues, but the long standing ovation at the end demonstrated how supportive and encouraged people are to hear a progressive religious voice on these issues. At the Unitarian Universalist Association, a denomination committed to a wide range of sexual justice issues, I shared the workshop with two women in their twenties who are seeking to organize a new generation of sexual justice activists. My role was to present the history and theology of a religious approach to sexuality issues. I shared with the group that I felt for the first time that I was assuming the role as “elder” and that I would need to grow into that!

The most gratifying part of both meetings were the large number of people who knew the work of the Religious Institute and told me in countless discussions in the hall, exhibits areas, and even the ladies room that they are using our publications and materials in our work. I hope you are as well.

It was a good weekend. It’s good to be home.

Not Very Bright, Not Very Nice

On L'il Bush on Comedy Central, the President is portrayed as a not very nice not very bright third grader (along with L'il Condi, L'il Cheney, and so on.)

One could say the program is a bit mean spirited.

But last night, I was so angry at the President's second veto of stem cell legislation that it seemed just right. The legislation was strongly supported by both Republicans and Democrats in both Houses who know how important this research is to millions of Americans and their families. His vote is simply pandering to the religious right base, rather than addressing the very real need and promise that exists for stem cell research of all kinds.

>

Comedy Central has it about right.

Call your Representative and Senators to urge them to override the veto.

Stories Change Minds...and Hearts

Yesterday, a colleague on a list serv sent around an article on why it was that only 45 out of 150 MA legislators voted to put marriage equality on the chopping block again. The link to the article didn't work, and I'm not sure if it's from the Boston Globe or the NY Times.



But rarely does a news article remind me of a good sermon. This one does. It features interviews with legislators about why they voted for the rights of same sex couples and why they changed their mind.



Here is an excerpt:



Representative Geraldo Alicea, a Democrat from Charlton, is a freshman who once promised to vote in favor of the amendment. But after he was elected, he said, "I thought it was best to be open-minded." He spent many nights over the past five months meeting with gay and straight constituents. They included a couple who had been together for 28 years, and who, before they were married, had not been able to see each other at the hospital when one of them was seriously ill.



He also spoke to a young lesbian couple who had adopted 4-year-old twins, and he said he found it difficult to imagine casting a vote that could hurt that growing family.



Representative Paul Kujawski, a Catholic Polish-American who represents a conservative district in southern Worcester County, switched his vote after months of soul-searching. What changed his mind, he said, was meeting a lesbian couple from his district who helped him understand what it meant to them to get married after more than two decades together. "It was nothing more than that -- wanting people to live happily," he said.>> The couple came to the State House yesterday for the vote and found Kujawski in the crowd after it was over. "There were really no words," Kujawski said. "Just hugs and tears."



Candaras had voted for the amendment when she was a House member... Some constituents wrote saying that they had changed their minds, like the elderly woman who said she> previously asked Candaras to support the ban. "But since then, Gale," the woman wrote, as Candaras told it, "this lovely couple, these two men, moved in next door to me, and they have a couple of children and they're married, and they help me with my lawn. And if they can't be married in Massachusetts, they're going to leave -- and then who would help me with my lawn?" Candaras said that after living with gay marriage for three years, many Massachusetts residents have grown accustomed to it, even those who once had reservations.



God bless the elderly woman with the lawn that needs to be cut and the legislators for opening not only their minds but also their hearts.

Stories make a difference. I invite you to tell your's.



***

I'm off tomorrow for a long weekend of travel -- keynoting the AASECT meeting in Charlotte, North Carolina and then on to Portland, Oregon for the UU General Assembly. If you will be at either, I hope you'll take the time to introduce yourself. I probably won't again until I'm back on Tuesday, but I hope you take the time to browse through previous entries.

Time for FOX and CBS to Evolve

As my regular readers know, I watch way too much television. If you aren't a TV watcher, you perhaps missed the debut of this clever TV ad by Trojan where pigs in a single bar evolve into caring, attractive men when they purchase a condom.

Or perhaps you were just watching the wrong channel, because CBS and Fox TV have refused to run these ads. According to the New York Times, here's what the Networks said:

"In a written response to Trojan, though, Fox said that it had rejected the spot because, “Contraceptive advertising must stress health-related uses rather than the prevention of pregnancy.”

In its rejection, CBS wrote, “while we understand and appreciate the humor of this creative, we do not find it appropriate for our network even with late-night-only restrictions.”

That's right, the channels that bring us such sexually exploitative fare as the OC and the Victoria Secret specials think that advertising condoms is inappropriate and that pregnancy is not a health concern. (Both however take those ubiquitous erectile dysfunction ads that feature couples mostly too young for viagra and cialis in ridiculous outdoor settings. I've had more than one conversation with teenagers about what that older couple is doing in single bathtubs at the top of the hill holding hands!)

So, older couples having sex in ads and warnings about four hour erections? O.K. Bladder control? O.K. Unnecessary feminine hygiene products? O.K. Ads for anti-depressants that proclaim proudly "no sexual side effects"? O.K. Countless ads with half nude women selling everything from cars to toothpaste? O.K. Not to say anything about the more than seven sexual acts or references per hour on Prime Time television.

But, condom ads that don't mention disease? Nope, just too risque. Listen, if we can answer questions about four hour erections during the Super Bowl, we can handle the teachable moment this commercial might suggest. CBS and FOX, it's time to reconsider.

If you dare, watch the commercial yourself online at www.trojanevolve.com

Pride in Connecticut

I spent part of Saturday, a beautiful day here in Connecticut, at the local Pride celebration on the grounds of the local Episcopal Church. It was great to see the rainbow balloons stretched out at the end of the town green, and I smiled as I mingled, thinking about how far even my town has come on these issues. The celebration was low key, filled with families with children, local politicians and church leaders, teenagers to grandparents. I thought of Holly Near singing "We are straight and gay together..." and indeed we were.

I thanked the priests from the local church for sponsoring the event this year. (You could pick them out by their vestaments; I on the other hand was wearing a tunic, leggings, and flip flops on this hot summer day. I'm not sure people believed me when I introduced myself as Rev. Haffner!) As you know, the national Episcopal Church is struggling so with sexuality issues, and this church on the green was definitely taking a position bigger than our town.

How healing though to have church sponsorship for this event, when so many GLBT people still carry the wounds from their religious community. In fact, next week, Soulforce and Beyond Ex Gay are sponsoring the first "Ex Gay Survivor's Conference" in Irvine, California, for people who have undergone so called "reparative therapy" to become heterosexual, therapy that is often encouraged by religious leaders. I have had the privilege of hearing heart-wrenching stories of these experiences by people who have now fortunately found their way to religious homes that affirm their sexuality. If you go to the conference, we'd love to hear a report.

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I couldn't wait until tomorrow's blog to share this. Abstinence only proponents once had T shirts that said "Pet your dog not your date." But they have come up with a new product. Here's a blurb from their latest newsletter: "There is nothing wrong with saving sex until marriage. In fact, there are millions of people worldwide who are making that commitment. Check out our No Trespassing Underwear and take your stand for abstinence; even if you are the only one that sees it." I'm not making this up. I'm not giving you the link, because I don't want some of the folks who oppose my positions but read me regularly to support this effort. You'll have to google it yourself.

Welcome to Facebook Readers!

According to StatCounter, last week, I had hundreds of new readers, primarily from Facebook.com -- Welcome! I am delighted that younger readers are finding my blog on sexuality and religion, and I hope you will visit often and tell your friends. It would be great if you could add this blog to your own page, and I hope you will leave your comments and help me make the blog more interactive.

I am the mom of a teenager and a recent college graduate, so I, of course, knew about Facebook. But, what I didn't know was how great a way it was to interest new people in our work for sexual justice in faith communities and society. It's great to know that there are so many of you out there committed to these important issues.

If you'd like to find out more, visit our web site at www.religiousinstitute.org and sign up to receive our free e-newsletter.

And come back to read more! Again, welcome and I look forward to getting to know you.

Real Common Ground

About twenty years ago, I had the privilege of being the guest of the Swedish government to learn more about Sweden's approach to sexuality issues. On one of the days, the small group of us visited a school, watched a sex education class, and asked the teenagers questions.

In Sweden, like most of Scandanavia and the rest of Europe, teenagers begin having sexual intercourse about the same time as U.S. teenagers but have a fraction of the pregnancies, births, and abortions than our teens do. They have sex education for the primary grades on up and easy access to contraception. I asked the group, "Can you imagine a circumstance where you might not use birth control?"

There was silence.

I thought perhaps they didn't understand. I explained that in the United States, many teenagers didn't use birth control.

They looked puzzled. Finally one said, "But, that would be silly unless you wanted to get pregnant. It would be like driving through a red light. Why would your teenagers do that?"

I've thought about them this week as I have continued to be bothered by Mrs. Clinton's public statement last week "Yes, Yes" she would agree to a policy goal of "reducing the decisions for abortion to zero". She then went on to chide both sides because they had not been willing to seek common ground.

But, Mrs. Clinton knows better than that. The piece of legislation she is sponsoring, Prevention First, is all about that common ground. And that common ground is about preventing abortions by preventing unintended pregnancies in the first place through comprehensive sexuality education and accessible contraceptive services. As we say in our Open Letter to Religious Leaders on Abortion as a Moral Decision, it is precisely because life is so precious, that it should never be created carelessly.

The fact is that abortion must be safe, legal, rare, and accessible (a word that I have talked with Mrs. Clinton and her staff about several times but have failed to get them to adopt.) We must NOT make abortion rarer by making it harder to get. Because contraceptives fail (over half of women who have an abortion had used a contraceptive method the month they got pregnant), because of compromising fetal health issues that don't emerge until well along in the pregnancy and life threatening complications of pregnancy, there will always be some abortions.

But surely we can learn the lessons of other developed countries: provide lifespan sexuality education, provide easily accessible contraceptive services, provide adequate support for pregnant women and their children and abortion rates come down. The abortion rate in Belgium is 7 per 1000 women of childbearing age; in the U.S., it's 21. (But in Peru where abortion is illegal, it's 56.)

And raise our teenagers to become adults who think that having sex without using contraception is silly.

Wow -- Blessings Be!

Just in from the Associated Press:

BOSTON - Massachusetts lawmakers voted Thursday to block a proposed constitutional amendment that would have let voters decide whether to ban gay marriage in the only state that currently allows it.

The narrow vote was a victory for gay marriage advocates and a devastating blow to efforts to reverse the historic 2003 state court ruling that legalized same-sex marriage.

The proposal needed 50 votes to advance to the 2008 ballot. It got 45, with 151 lawmakers opposed.

Opponents of gay marriage vowed to press on, but Thursday's defeat after more than three years of sometimes wrenching debate could prove insurmountable. Any effort to mount a new ballot question would take years at a time political support in Massachusetts is swinging firmly behind gay marriage.

For gay couples, the vote marked what could be the end of a struggle that began in 2001, when seven same-sex couples, denied marriage licenses, sued in Suffolk Superior Court.
More than 8,500 same sex couples have married in Massachusetts since it became legal in May 2004.
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Bravo to the brave legislators of Massachusetts...and may the other 49 states follow suit soon.

Today's Loving

My teenage children find it hard to believe that there was a time not so long ago when an interracical couple could not marry in the United States.

I fervently pray and expect that their children will have a similar reaction to hearing that same sex couples couldn't marry as well.

This week was the 40th anniversary of the Supreme Court Decision that made it illegal for the states to ban interracial marriages.

Today, a constitutional convention begins in Massachusetts to debate whether same sex couples should continue to be allowed to legally wed. Yesterday, many such couples witnessed in Boston about what is at stake.

And what is at stake is the same as it was forty years ago...the right of every person to choose a life partner and to have that choice recognized by the state with all its attending benefits and responsibilities.

Mrs. Loving, pictured forty years ago with her husband, offered this statement to Freedom to Marry:

"When my late husband, Richard, and I got married in Washington, DC in 1958, it wasn't to make a political statement or start a fight. We were in love, and we wanted to be married. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Richard and our love, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the 'wrong kind of person' for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. I am proud that Richard's and my name are on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight, seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That's what Loving, and loving, are all about."

You can read the whole statement and see Freedom to Marry's brilliant new ads at their web site. You can read a blog from the Task Force live from the convention today.

I also hope you'll take a moment to pray for the people voting today. What I know for sure is that where there is love the sacred is in our midst, and one day, justice on this issue will prevail -- just like it did for the Lovings and all the couples that came after them.

The Show Me State Decides Not To

Nearly twenty-five years ago, I was the Director of Education for Planned Parenthood of Metropolitian Washington. A major part of our work involved going into the public schools in the D.C. area to supplement the meager sex and health education that the schools were able to offer. We were often asked to do one class on contraceptive methods, but our response was always to ask to do multiple sessions so that we could talk with young people about responsible decision making, abstinence, their changing bodies, and their relationships. Our preference was actually to do teacher training so that the schools could have an ongoing ability to handle these issues themselves.

These memories came back to me when I learned yesterday that the legislature of Missouri has now banned Planned Parenthood staff and volunteers from coming into its public schools. Read the article at http://www.columbiamissourian.com/stories/2007/06/11/sex-ed-bill-demands-abstinence-emphasis/

Now I admit that I don't know any particulars here, but I'm guessing that this bill passed based on ignorance about what Planned Parenthood educators do in the schools. I can imagine that there were speeches that defamed Planned Parenthood's excellent work and claimed that they pushed birth control and abortions on innocent young minds -- or even encouraged young people to have sex.

How do I know that? Because like so many of my sex education colleagues, I have been accused of all of this and worse during my career. A colleague this week in New Jersey wrote her friends about a smear campaign going on about her. I told her that during the worst of these efforts against my work, I reminded myself of all of the giants of the sex education field who had survived other such assaults.

I'm also willing to bet that not one of the legislators who voted for this bill had actually seen a Planned Parenthood education session in the school. Rather, they voted to deny young people needed information.

Some days its hard to love one's enemies.

This Just In...

The Center for American Progress also published my editorial on the new "Open Letter for Religious Leaders on Sexual and Gender Diversity."

It's featured on their home page.

CAP is one of the nation's leading progressive policy organizations, and I am honored and grateful to have our feature featured this way. They have a great daily e-newsletter that covers a wide range of progressive issues that I highly recommend.

Let me know other ideas you might have to promote the new "Open Letter."

LGBT Persons and Reproductive Justice

Bravo to RH Reality Check for front page coverage of the reproductive health and rights issues of lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgender persons.

And a big thank you for featuring an editorial by me on our new "Open Letter to Religious Leaders on Sexual and Gender Diversity."

I was very moved by several of the blog entries posted there, and I learned some things I didn't know about reproductive justice denied. Did you know, for example, that gay men are not allowed to donate to accredited sperm banks because the assumption is that they are HIV positive? (Wouldn't a simple HIV test for all male donors be a good idea?) Or, that assisted reproductive technologies are only covered by most health plans for married women, except that women in lesbian partners can only do that in one state in the country? Or that female to male transsexuals (FTM) still need annual pap tests and mammograms but may have no physician willing to do them?

Check out RH Reality Check this morning. I was glad I did.

And the Children Shall Suffer....

It feels like a Judas moment.

Yesterday, according to a press release from SIECUS,

"The U.S. House of Representatives Subcommittee on Labor, Health and Human Services, and Education Appropriations decided to increase funding for the Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE) grants despite overwhelming scientific evidence that the abstinence-only-until-marriage programs it supports do not work.

It was widely believed that the programs would be cut or eliminated by the new Congress, but by adding $27.8 million, the House Appropriations Committee is doing President Bush’s bidding and providing $141 million in funding to CBAE. This is almost exactly what the President had requested, and appears to be a ploy by the Democratic majority designed to swing enough Republican votes to make the spending bill veto-proof."

In other words, the House DEMOCRATIC leadership has just INCREASED funding for ineffective, moralistic abstinence-only-until-marriage funding. They have developed a "compromise" about the bodies and futures of America's young people. This, despite, their own Congressionally mandated study, released a few months ago, that these programs don't work to help young people abstain.

It's never really about young people -- or promises of "prevention first." Let's remember that it was the Clinton administration that gave us welfare reform, "don't ask, don't tell", and oh, abstinence-only programs in the first place.

My faith tells me that young people deserve so much more. We have a moral obligation to truth telling, to giving young people life fulfilling and life saving information. How sad that political dealing caused the Democrats in Congress to turn their backs on the nation's young people.

For more background, see my colleague James Wagoner's excellent column at RH Reality Check.

More on the Open Letter

On Monday, the Religious Institute released its new "Open Letter to Religious Leaders on Sexual and Gender Diversity." Its received a lot of coverage in the "gay press" but not much mainstream coverage - yet.

I've been receiving emails all week from people who have read the Open Letter. Here is one of my favorites:

I just wanted to comment on your orginazation's recent statement about the inclusion and better treatment of LGBT community within the religious enviroment. Everything she said was 100% true and really touched me! I think that your statement was eloquent, thoughtful, and gave nothing but the highest form of dignity to my community.

Someone also wrote to ask me what we meant when we said that LGBT persons could be assets in their faith communities. I first thought about the person who once said to me "if all the gay and lesbian choir directors and organists quit churches that did not welcome them, there would be no music in most of the churches on Sunday morning."

But, no, that's NOT what we meant in the statement. What we meant was that when people can live their God given gift of their sexuality, when sexual and gender diversity is celebrated and not condemned, our faith communities are richer for our being able to live and worship authentically together. When LGBT persons and their families, their parents, their children, their friends, are welcomed into our communities fully, they are able to participate fully as members of the congregation. They are our preachers, our religious educators, our volunteers, our Board members, our ushers, our choir members -- they are US.

I hope you'll read the full Open Letter and visit our newly redesigned web site. And pass it on.

This Man Could Be Dangerous To Your Health

Quick -- can you name the current Surgeon General of the United States?

It wasn't always like this.

One of my top ten work days ever was the day that I accompanied former Surgeon General Koop in Hollywood. It was probably in 1986, and Dr. Koop had established himself as not only the nation's doctor on the AIDS epidemic but its moral voice. As the Director of Education for the Center for Population Options (now Advocates for Youth), we took Dr. Koop to Hollywood to bring his message to producers, writers, and stars. I still have the picture of Dr. Koop and I on the set of the "Golden Girls" hanging in my office.

As President of SIECUS, I also had opportunities to work with Dr. Joycelyn Elders and Dr. David Satcher, both who used their "bully pulpit" to help America understand that sexual health was part of public health.

I've just learned from the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force that President Bush has recently named a new candidate for U.S. Surgeon General. That's him in the picture...it's Dr. James Holsinger Jr. from the University of Kentucky. He's being touted for his expertise in obesity.

But what the White House's press release doesn't tell us is that Dr. Holsinger has served on the United Methodist Judicial Council, and voted to keep a lesbian woman from serving as a pastor and to allow another church to deny membership to gay people. More alarming, he founded an "ex-gay ministry" at a local church, a type of therapy derided by every major health and counseling organization. One can hardly imagine what he might do as the "nation's doctor" when it came to health care for LGBT persons. Just a guess, but I think it's reasonable to think he's anti-choice as well.

Now, maybe we shouldn't be surprised that the same White House that made Dr. Eric Kerouac, an anti-family planning fundamentalist, the head of the national family planning program would nominate an anti-gay doctor to be the Surgeon General of the United States...but that doesn't make it any less troubling. No hearings have been scheduled on this appointment. Stay tuned for how you can make your voice heard.

And a free copy of a Religious Institute publication of your choice to the first person who can name the current Surgeon General. (without googling it!)

What's Wrong With This Picture?

I'm struggling with my reaction to last night's 2 hour forum on CNN -- first with the leading Democratic contenders, then with five others -- to discuss faith and politics.

My hats are off to Sojourners and their public relations folks for this media coup to have CNN cover their conference in this way. I'm all for anything that helps the American public see that the Religious Right does not have a monopoly on faith practice. And it was great to see each of the top three contenders have 15 uninterrupted minutes to talk about moral issues.

But, parts of this were troubling. Was it really appropriate for Soledad O'Brien to ask Mr. Edwards what his greatest sin was? Or Mrs. Clinton how her faith helped her deal with her husband's infidelity? And how many times could the CNN pundits and personalities state that abortion and gay issues are not the only moral issues, yet try to focus on them? (And with Mr. Edwards "no" on marriage equality and Ms. Clinton's softball answer on abortion, I'm beginning to feel like the conservative Republicans who don't think they have a candidate who supports their issues.)

But, more troubling to me is that secular CNN gave two hours to covering a program primarily aimed at evangelical Christians and implicitly promoting the idea that personal faith practices are criteria for judging candidates. Does it matter that Joe Biden prays the rosary each day or that Hilary Clinton and John Edwards have turned to faith in their times of great personal trial? Would it matter to our voting if they did not? Surely I trust that George Bush means it when he says he prays to God for advice and that Jesus is his favorite philosopher -- but that doesn't mean that I think his decisions and actions are moral or right for America.

Read the transcript here at www.cnn.com and tell me what YOU think.

New "Open Letter on Sexual and Gender Diversity"

This morning, the Religious Institute on Sexual Morality, Justice, and Healing issued an Open Letter to Religious Leaders on Sexual and Gender Diversity that challenges religious leaders to address the complex realities of sexual and gender diversity and to advocate in secular and faith-based contexts for justice and the full inclusion of LGBT persons.

Created by a coalition of theologians from Jewish, Christian, and Catholic backgrounds, this historical multi-faith theological framework, the first of its kind to address gender issues, laments the damage done to gay, lesbian, and transgender people by the silence or, worse, open condemnation of religious leaders. The Open Letter says, “Some have mistakenly called homosexuality sinful when the real issue is heterosexism or the unjust privileging of heterosexuality. Heterosexism devalues gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, just as sexism and male privilege devalue women.” The Open Letter forcefully states that “sexual and gender oppression can no longer be portrayed as virtuous and morally defensible” and that “using the Bible to exclude or attack people violates the very spirit of our traditions and is morally unconscionable.”

The Open Letter urges religious leaders to take action to address the needs of LGBT congregants and their families. Clergy across the country are committed to using the new Open Letter in their Pride Day worship services this June. In the next few days, we plan to distribute more than 20,000 copies of the Open Letter.

Take the time to read the new Open Letter to Religious Leaders on Sexual and Gender Diversity and tell me what you think. Check out our new web site as well.

Why Sexual Justice is Integral to Social Justice

Yesterday, I taped an interview for this Sunday's State of Belief show on Air America.

Rev. Dr. Welton Gaddy and I discussed my reaction to the Media Matter's study on which religious voices are covered in the media. (See Wednesday's blog!) Over the last few years, The Interfaith Alliance, the organization Dr. Gaddy heads, has slowly become more vocal about reproductive choice and LGBT rights, especially as they related to separation of church and state issues, and I was very pleased that he asked me to appear.

He asked me, partially as playing "devil's advocate" and partially because I think he really wanted to know, how I would answer so-called progressive leaders who feel that poverty, hunger, homelessness, the war in Iraq, global warming are so important that we cannot let "divisive issues" like abortion and LGBT issues distract us from forming coalitions with evangelicals and Catholics who oppose them.

My answer was threefold. First, these issues are directly related to poverty. It is poor women who suffer most when contraception, emergency contraception, and abortion services are not readily available, both in the United States and around the world. It is poor same-sex couples who are most affected by laws prohibiting the benefits of civil unions and marriage, and poor transgender persons who have no access to medical treatment. The Religious Institute staff is currently working on a fact sheet on how sexual justice and poverty are interrelated.

Second, these issues affect hundreds of thousands of people. More than a third of adult women in the United States have had abortions. More than half a million women die each year around the world because of pregnancy related complications. There are at least 600,000 families headed by gay and lesbian families in the United States alone. According to a new Pew research study, 4 in 10 Americans have a family member or close friend who is lesbian and gay. These issues are NOT about other people -- they are about us.

And finally, I reminded Rev. Gaddy about Martin Luther King's statement: injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere. Progressive people of faith -- and that includes religious leaders who want to label themselves as progressive -- must stand up against sexual injustice as part of their commitment to social justice. These are not issues of "personal piety" or even about what people do in their bedrooms -- they go to the soul of whether we are all truly recognized as being created in God's image and whether we can celebrate the gift of our sexuality with holiness and integrity.

I hope you'll tune in to State of Belief on Sunday and listen to more of this interview. Check out their web site for times and station in your area or listen online.

Media Matters -- Just Because Someone Is Labeled "Progressive" Doesn't Mean They Are

Media Matters has just released a study comparing how progressive and conservative religious leaders are covered by the media.

It’s worth reading the whole report, but according to their own press release, the highlights are:

• 
  Combining newspapers and television, conservative religious leaders we studied were quoted, mentioned, or interviewed in news stories 2.8 times as often as were progressive religious leaders between November 3, 2004 -- the day after the 2004 presidential election -- and December 31, 2006.
• 
  On television news -- the three major television networks, the three major cable channels, and PBS -- conservative religious leaders were quoted, mentioned, or interviewed almost 3.8 times as often as progressive leaders.
• 
  In major newspapers, conservative religious leaders were quoted, mentioned, or interviewed 2.7 times as often as progressive leaders.

But, there is a problem with this analysis. What the report doesn’t tell you – and neither does the press release of this organization that labels itself as progressive – is that 18 of the 20 most quoted religious leaders in America are MEN.

More significantly, the majority of the “progressive religious leaders” are not indeed progressive – at least not when it comes to sexual justice. Of the ten most quoted “progressive” religious leaders, only two are unambiguous and outspoken about their support for reproductive rights and LBGT issues, a few are largely silent, and more than half are actually OPPOSED.

Perhaps Media Matters can be convinced to reanalyze their data – how many more times are anti-choice, anti-LBGT religious leaders covered than those who stand with the majority of Americans in support of these issues? How many more times are MALE religious leaders covered than FEMALE clergy?

These aren’t theoretical issues for us at the Religious Institute. We have worked hard to be included in media stories on these issues, and have often been told that the religious voice has already been covered – by a voice on the right. I once had a producer tell me that they would only use me on a story if they didn’t have to identity me as “Reverend Haffner.” When I asked why, they told me that a woman pro-choice clergyperson would be too confusing to their television audience.

Will this report make a difference to how the media covers religion? Surely the experience until now is not because the press doesn’t know that women religious leaders or religious leaders that support sexual justice exist. But just in case, we’re ready and willing – both to appear as well as suggest dozens of other names to the media when they do these stories.

Let’s see – off the top of my head, there’s also Rev. Dr. Emilie Townes, Rev. Irene Monroe, Dr. Rita Nakashima Brock, Rev. Janie Spahr, Dr. Mary Hunt, Rev. Barbara Lundblad, Rev. Dr. Susan Thistlewaite, Rev. Erin Swenson, Rabbi Rebecca Alpert, Rabbi Sandy Sasso…and that’s just for starters. Google them – I think you’ll agree.

Marching for Peace on Memorial Day

My son and I ended up marching with the Peace Group at the local Memorial Day parade. The sunflowers around my neck, I was told, represented what could be done with fields that are currently being used to store nuclear weapons.

People along the parade route applauded as we walked by. Well, not everyone, but enough to make us feel that people get it -- that we can support the troupes and persons who have died in the service of their country while still wanting us out of Iraq.

That is until we passed the reviewing stand. The elderly vet announcing each of the groups was at first silent as we walked by. It took a second to realize he wasn't going to announce us. Then, he said, (I swear I'm not making this up), "It's inappropriate to walk for peace in a Memorial Day parade." He added, "Not that I'm making a political statement."

Of course, he was.

But, walking for peace on Memorial Day didn't feel political -- it felt necessary. And honoring of those who had died -- and hopeful that one day we won't be sending young people off to die in countries that don't want us there. In memory and in hope.

Reports of the Death of the Religious Right Are Premature

Rev. Jerry Falwell was buried yesterday -- and according to several media reports in the past week, so too was the influence of the Religious Right on evangelicals. The Washington Post, NPR, Time Magazine, and the NY Times have all run reports on how evangelical leaders are moving from the Religious Right emphasis on sexual issues and moving on to address poverty, Darfur, and even AIDS.

I’m not willing to join the chorus that the days of the Religious Right are over.

Have we forgotten that two months ago a coalition of religious leaders on the right, including James Dobson and Jerry Falwell, and their allies fought Richard Cizik as the head of the National Association on Evangelicals by announcing that the great moral issues of the day were abortion, marriage equality, and abstinence-only-until marriage education?

The fact that they were unsuccessful does not mean that they have gone away or are without clout. Witness the pandering of the Republican presidential candidates to this base.

But moreover , engaging poverty and global warming does not mean that evangelicals and even many other so-called progressive religious leaders are supporting marriage equality (I wish the press would stop using the term same-sex marriage unless they are willing to use other-sex marriage), civil rights for LGBT persons, and the moral agency of women to make decisions about their reproductive lives – or that those who have embraced AIDS as a global issue, are supporting the availability and distribution of condoms to those who are sexually active.


Last month, the Religious Institute convened a meeting of progressive religious leaders who understand the connection of these issues to our religious conviction that sexuality is God’s life fulfilling gift to us all and that all people must have the right to make their own moral and responsible sexual choices.

I support and applaud my religious colleagues who are working on the pressing moral issues of poverty, the war in Iraq, Darfur, immigration, and so on. I wish though that they understood that part of the solution to poverty is improving women’s rights, increasing access to birth control, and assuring safe and legal abortion services. Well-to-do women have always had access to abortion; half a million women around the world die each year from pregnancy related causes, often because they resort to illegal and unsafe abortion procedures. Well-to-do gay men and lesbian women can purchase the legal advice they need for adoptions, health care proxies, insurance policies, and so on – it is poor LGBT people who especially need the rights that marriage and non-discrimination in employment would confer. What will it take for mainstream and soically progressive evangelical leaders to understand and more importantly be willing to articulate the connection between sexual and social justice?

Every time the press and religious leaders relegate these issues as “hot button” issues, they hurt tens if not hundreds of thousands of people here and around the globe. The fact that some continue to do so dramatically illustrates the continued influence of the Religious Right which has made silence – or even condemnation acceptable.

Forgive me if I am not ready to celebrate.

Graduation 2007

I cried in the parking lot when I dropped her off the first day of kindegarten.

I sobbed as I drove home when we left her off freshman year.

And as they handed her the diploma yesterday, I surprised myself by bursting into tears.

Each a step for her in the journey to adulthood...each a step for me in letting go.

It makes sense that graduation is also called commencement. Graduation from college is indeed a new beginning. And new beginnings require courage, determination, and a sense of adventure.

May these new beginning be blessed for all of these graduates -- and their parents and families as well.

Thank you, Clergy Consultation Service

People often ask me if the work we are doing at the Religious Institute, organizing progressive religious leaders who will speak out for sexual justice, is new.

I always answer "no". That it continues a tradition that goes back to the Bible (think of the persons who spoke for the Song being included in the canon), the early church (think of Jovinian and Julian who argued for the virtues of marriage not virginity), think of Martin Luther speaking out against a required celibate clergy.

But, you may not know about Rev. Howard Moody and the Clergy Consultation Service on Abortion. Forty years old on May 21st, Rev. Moody organized clergy, first in New York, and then across the country, to provide counseling and support for women with unwanted pregnancies when abortion was illegal.

Their press release, covered in a front page story in the NY Times, read:

“Therefore believing as clergymen that there are higher laws and moral obligations transcending legal codes, we believe that it is our pastoral responsibility and religious duty to give aid and assistance to all women with problem pregnancies. To that end we are establishing a Clergymen’s Consultation Service on Abortion which will include referral to the best available medical advice and aid to women in need.”

Ultimately, according to the Religious Coalition on Reproductive Choice, more than 1400 ministers and rabbis joined the Clergy Service, risking arrest to provide women with the pastoral support and services they needed. Rev. Moody has said that at one point he was offering counseling to women from around the country, six hours a day, five days a week.

Tomorrow, Rev. Moodyand the Consultation Service will be honored at a service at Judson Memorial Church, 55 Washington Square South, New York, NY from 4 - 6 p.m. I was honored to be asked to be a speaker, but cannot attend because it is my daughter's graduation from college this weekend (more on that on Monday.)

What would I have said? Thank you. Thank you for your leadership. Thank you for your bravery. Thank you for your commitment to women's lives. Thank you for the risks you took. Thank you for setting the foundation for organizing religious leaders to speak out for sexual justice. Thank you for being the shoulders we stand on.

You go, Governor!

I'm often glad I'm from Connecticut, partially because of our record on sexual justice issues.

Connecticut, you may remember, brought us Griswold v. Connecticut, forty years ago this June, which led to the Supreme Court deciding that married women had a constitutional right to contraception. Connecticut was the first state to legislate civil unions for same sex couples. I remember several years ago, when I was at SIECUS, that we did a report card on sexual rights in the states, and Connecticut was one of the only states to received an A.

Yesterday, the Governor quietly signed a bill that requires all of the hospitals in Connecticut to offer rape victims PLAN B, emergency contraception. Now, that should be a no brainer, but because of the number of Catholic hospitals in Connecticut, it turns out that rape victims were not offered EC in nearly half of our state's hospitals. That will now have to change.

Catholic clergy lobbied hard against the bill, but the rights of women who are raped prevailed. Women who have been raped should not have to risk pregnancy if they are accidently brought to an emergency room where the provider or hospital opposes contraception. Surely, we can all agree, regardless of our positions on abortion, that pregnancies arising from rape should be prevented.

It's a small step for sexual justice...but it's a step. Now, if we can just convince Governor Rell to sign the marriage equality bill if it reaches her desk.

Rev. Jerry Falwell

I never met him.

And unlike many of the leaders of the Religious Right, he never took me on by name, not when I was at SIECUS and not when I decided to become a minister. We probably disagreed about everything and certainly about areas related to sexual justice. He was anti-feminist, anti-choice, and anti-LGBT equality. For awhile in the early 1980's, I had a bumper sticker that proclaimed, "The Moral Marjority is Neither."

It is hard to be forgiving. I can still hear him blaming pagans, feminists, and gays and lesbians for 9/11. I remember when he refused to have a meal with the people from Soul Force. His latest condemnation of Richard Cizek was featured on my blog...and who can forget the campaign against Tinky Winky?

But, he was an effective religious voice for his beliefs in the public square and a tireless advocate. When I ask audiences to name a religious leader speaking out about sexuality issues, his name has always been first. His commitment to young people through Liberty University was admirable. In addition to his national activities, he continued his pastoral activities at a local church. I'd like to think twenty years from now, I'd leave even ten percent of his legacy in the public arena.

The Religious Institute extends its sympathy to Rev. Falwell's family, his friends, his church, his university -- and yes, his followers. His life was a life well lived.

Sex Ed for Grown Up's

This past weekend, I led a workshop called “Sex Ed for Grown Up’s” at my home congregation’s annual retreat. More than thirty people attended, most in their forties and fifties and in long-term relationships, and several privately told me that they were surprised by how much they didn’t know. One said, “I can’t believe that I go to a church where one of our ministers talks so openly and directly about sex! But it’s great!”

The Religious Institute works to help clergy and seminarians speak more openly about sexuality from the pulpit, in adult education, and in the community. We often hear from the more than 3000 leaders who have endorsed the Religious Declaration and Open Letters that they some times feel isolated and alone among their clergy colleagues.

We also hear that they don't feel trained or equipped to preach or educate about sexuality, often having had no professional preparation to do so. That's why I'm so committed to clergy and seminarian education.

As ministers, how can we not be prepared to talk openly and honestly about sexuality, one of God's more precious life fulfilling gifts to us?

When was the last time you heard a minister talk about sex? Would you be willing to talk to your clergyperson with a sexual problem or concern? Does your church offer sex education for adults? Let us know!

Happy Mother's Day

The first Sunday I ever went to a Unitarian Church was on Mother's Day, 1987. We were searching for a religious community that would support an interfaith couple with a small child.

The Reverend Bill Murray was preaching about "Gaia, the Earth Mother." The music included Holly Near and Chris Williamson. I felt at home immediately.

It took my husband a little longer.

That's not the only intersection between my faith and Mother's Day. Did you know that Julia Ward Howe, a Unitarian, called for the first Mother's Day in 1870? It was an attempt to organize women around the world to advocate for peace. It's a good reminder about what is still needed today.

My ministry in the world is very tied to motherhood. The Religious Institute advocates for safe motherhood for all women, intentional parenting, and the right to choose when and whether to become a parent at all. My books for parents emphasize the foundational role we play in our homes in raising sexually healthy children and teenagers.

Of course, like so many of the women reading my blog, motherhood is also deeply personal. I am grateful to my own mother for her support, guidance, and encouragement, and that we still get to hang out together. I loved that she came with me to the movie premiere earlier this week.

Of all the wonderful blessings in my life, it is my children that are the most central to my being. They are my teachers, my guides, my inspiration, and the loves of my life.

Happy Mother's Day to you all!

Georgia Rule

Ministry takes me to many wonderful places. Last night, I had the privilege of being at the premiere of the new movie, "Georgia Rule", starring Jane Fonda, Felicity Hoffman, and Lindsay Lohan.

Each of their performances is stunning. (As are they are...what a treat to see them all at the premiere last night.)

But, more importantly, the film is the first movie that I know that deals honestly with the issues of adolescent familial sexual abuse. The buzz around the movie has been about Lindsay Lohan's continuing "bad girl" behavior on and off the set; how much more important it would be if the reviewers and the press addressed the central issue of the film.

Lindsay plays Rachel, who was sexually abused by her mother's husband for two years from twelve to fourteen. Her own promiscuity and her confusion about her sexuality stem from the abuse. Her mother struggles with whether to believe her or believe her husband.

Rachel represents the MORE THAN HALF A MILLION children and adolescents who are sexually abused each year. In the case of girls, it's most likely done by a family member or close family friend. In 90 percent of the cases, abuse is committed by someone the child knows well.

Go see this movie. Bring your teenage children. Talk about it. More importantly, educate your children and yourself about sexual abuse prevention. Make sure your faith community does so as well.

Today's Scripture Lesson

Sometimes when I have been in debates with people on the right, I've wondered how it is that we are both turning to Scripture for inspiration or both serve God with confidence in our calling. I have been known to quip that perhaps all we are proving is that God has a sense of humor.

This weekend at The Interfaith Alliance annual conference, I heard Rev. Dr. James Ryan of the Colorado Council of Churches talked about the differences between "Ten Commandment Christians" and "Sermon on the Mount" Christians." The Christians in audience got the distinction immediately.

It's the difference between a rule or act centered morality or a morality based in justice and right relations. Both are present in the Bible, but the emphasis is really quite different. The Religious Institute, the organization I direct, calls for a sexual ethic based on relationships not individual sexual acts.

I started to play with his analogy and would love your thoughts. Might the Jewish version be "Ten Commandment Jews" or "Wisdom Literature Jews?" Or on sexual ethics, "Leviticus and Romans" sexual moralists or "Song of Songs" theologians? What other Biblical contrasts make sense to you?

Speaking Out

I'm just back from The Interfaith Alliance National Leadership Gathering in Denver, Colorado. I led a workshop for TIA folks from around the United States on how and why sexual justice issues should be part of their interfaith work.

I am pleased to report that despite Rev. Dr. Bob Edgar's (pictured on the left) exhortation to the group in his plenary speech to put what he called "personal piety issues" to the side as being potentially divisive , the folks I talked to understood that sexual justice must be part of a progressive interfaith agenda. In fact, many of them were surprised and even angry to learn that when Rev. Edgar, of the National Council of Churches of Christ, said put aside "personal piety issues" he meant them to not discuss reproductive justice and GLBTQQIA rights.

But, I am pleased to report that Rev. Welton Gaddy, President of TIA, (pictured on the right) had no such hesitancy to embrace these issues in his addresses. From the rally we did on hate crimes on the steps of the Denver city office building to his state of belief presentation at Saturday's lunch, he freely talked about the rights of lesbian, gay, and transgender persons and women's rights, including women's moral agency. It was great to hear this Baptist minister "get" that sexual justice is part of social justice.

More on some of my learnings from the conference tomorrow

Father McGreevey?

Former Governor of Jim McGreevey's office released two press releases this week: his wife knew he was gay before she married and he is entering General Theological Seminary in the fall.

Somehow both of those ring false to me.

I've known and worked with too many women over the years who have only found out their husbands are gay when they finally have the courage to tell them (and in McGreevey's case, the whole world at a press conference.) The fact that his sexual orientation is being used as a pawn in their custody battle is wrong, but the "she knew it already" defense seems like a poor one.

As for the seminary? I can only say that I hope your call is real, unrelenting, and grounded in a desire to serve God in a new way -- and not a search for some place to hide. My usual counsel to people who ask me about seminary is don't go unless you have to...

Seminary education and the move to ministry was the hardest thing I have ever done, Mr. McGreevey. It is intellectually demanding, but more it asks you to examine every aspect of your faith, your understanding of your purpose in life, and it rigorously challenges how you think about yourself in the world.

I pray that you are sincere and ready. (And since you'll be in New York, perhaps you will want to take my course on "Sexuality Issues for Religious Professionals" at Union Theological Seminary the next time it's offered. It might be a good way to understand more of your journey.)

Hate Crimes Passes 237 - 180!

The first fully inclusive bill recognizing hate crimes against lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender folks passed the House of Representatives by a significant margin this afternoon!

On to the Senate...and time to let your Senator know that you expect them to support this legislation! The folks on the right are surely making their calls and sending their emails -- won't you send your's?

Speak Out Against Hate Crimes

On Thursday, the U.S. House of Representatives will vote on the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Bill. Now, such an Act already exists for hate crimes related to race, religion and sex, but it does not include support for local law enforcement agencies to investigate hate crimes related to disability, sexual orientation, and gender identity.

This should be a no-brainer vote.

It won't be because the radical right (I just cannot bear to label them as the "religious" right any longer) is lobbying heavily against it. For example, here's some of what the Family Research Council says on its web site, labeling the bill the "Thought Crime" bill:

Whereas one purpose of so-called "hate crimes" laws is to increase punishment for the thoughts a person may have been having while committing a crime, meaning such laws are really thought crimes laws, and;Whereas increasing punishment for a criminal's thoughts could quickly be expanded to outlawing the expression of other thoughts that liberal legislators and activist judges, under pressure from homosexual activists, list as "hateful," including sincere religious convictions and Bible-based moral values such as opposition to homosexual behavior, and...

But, that's not what the bill says at all...it's not about what people think or what they say, it's about what happens when they commit physical violence against people because they are disabled, gay or lesbian, or transgender.

The radical right has nothing to fear from this bill unless they or their supporters commit physical violence against people because of their orientation or identity.

You can help make sure that your Representative understands the difference. Call the Capitol Switchboard at 203-224-3121, give them your zip code, and leave a message to vote yes.

Hate is not a moral value.

A Time to Speak

On Monday, the Religious Institute brought together an outstanding group of religious leaders who are committed to full inclusion of women and LGBT persons in the life of the faith community and society at large, comprehensive lifespan sexuality education, and a faith based commitment to voluntary contraception, abortion, and HIV/STD prevention and treatment.

They included Rev. Steven Baines, People for the American Way; Rev. Ignacio Castuera,
National Chaplain, Planned Parenthood Federation of America; Rev. Steve Clapp, Christian Community; Rev. Dr. Larry Greenfield, American Baptist Churches of Metro Chicago; Ann L. Hanson, United Church of Christ; Rev. Cedric Harmon, Americans United; Rev. Dr. Joseph Hough, Union Theological Seminary; Rev. Jennifer Kottler, Protestants for the Common Good; Harry Knox, Faith and Religion Program,Human Rights Campaign; Rev. Peter Laarman, Progressive Christians Uniting; Rev. Meg Riley, Unitarian Universalist Association; Dr. Sylvia Rhue, National Black Justice Coalition; and Rev. John Selders, Amistad United Church of Christ.

The meeting was off the record, so that participants could be forthright and candid and so we could develop strategies together. But, at the end of the day, we agreed that there were overarching messages from the meeting that could be shared. We agreed that progressive religious leaders can no longer be allowed to distance themselves from sexual justice issues and call themselves progressive or prophetic. That we would individually and collectively call on our more reluctant colleagues to understand that racism, poverty, sexism, and homophobia are interconnected and that as progressive religious leaders, we must address them all. That we would call out our colleagues who, at best distance themselves from sexual justice and, at worst dismiss these issues as unimportant – and be willing to take them on publicly for turning their back on the sexual and reproductive rights of women and LGBTQQI people.

So much more happened at the meeting that I cannot share – but I am grateful beyond words to each of the participants for their brilliance, their motivation, and their inspiration. There is more we can and must do – stay tuned.